How to Cope with Chronic Pain: The Power of Mindset, Independence, and Emotional Support

For a person who lives with chronic pain, it is imperative that their energy is focused on what can be done, in spite of the pain or limitations. In this vein, it is important to avoid projecting helplessness or a “poor me” mindset when interacting with others.

Many of the challenges we face in life don’t stem from physical limitations, but from our own internal attitudes. When a person approaches life with an optimistic and positive mindset, their thinking becomes more creative, allowing them to find solutions to situations that may initially seem hopeless or impossible.

One powerful illustration of this idea is shared by Rabbi Chaim Shmuelevitz (in his book Sichot Mussar, Parshat Yitro), who relates a teaching about a story from the time of Rabbi Yehuda bar Ilai. The Talmud tells us (Sanhedrin 20a) that “in his generation, six students would cover themselves with one tallit (prayer shawl) and study Torah.”

At first glance, it seems absurd. How can six people possibly share one tallit- isn’t that physically impossible? Rabbi Shmuelevitz explains that it’s all about perspective. Normally, if six people tried to share one shawl, it wouldn’t be possible, because each one would be pulling it toward themselves. However, if you offered each of them a large cash prize if all six successfully managed to share the same shawl, suddenly, the chances of success go up dramatically.

The reason is that in such a situation, each person is no longer thinking about how to get more of the shawl for themselves, but about how to help the others fit under it too- knowing that their own success depends on everyone succeeding together.

With the right motivation, the heart opens up new pathways in the mind, that didn’t seem possible before. Nothing about the physical situation has changed, but a small shift in mindset made all the difference.

This teaches us a powerful lesson: many of life’s challenges can be approached differently- not necessarily by changing the circumstances, but by changing our attitude. As long as we’re stuck in rigid patterns of thinking, our brains remain closed off to solutions. Once we open ourselves up to new ideas- with flexibility and creativity- solutions often come into view.

Minimize Stress

For people living with chronic pain, it’s especially important to reduce stress as much as possible. Even small stressors that perhaps wouldn’t faze the average person, can trigger significant discomfort, anxiety, or even a spike in pain for someone already dealing with chronic symptoms.

Remember: a body in a state of anxiety tends to exaggerate all sensations. What might feel like a mild ache to one person can feel intense and overwhelming to someone already in pain and under stress. That, in turn, can significantly affect their ability to function.

Individuals with chronic pain need to be extra mindful of their emotional environment. Avoiding unnecessary conflicts, arguments, or confrontations is key. The goal is to create a sense of calm and peace and conditions that allow for better physical and emotional management.

At the same time, good company can make a real difference. Positive social support can uplift the mood and spirit of someone in pain, and when emotional well-being improves, physical symptoms are often relieved as well.

If you're supporting someone with chronic pain, or if you’re managing it yourself, remember that mindset, emotional environment, and stress levels are all powerful factors in the healing journey. Often even small changes in these areas can lead to meaningful improvements.