Relationships
Is it permissible to immerse in a mikvah after having relations?
Question
Hello,
My wife and I did not engage in full relations (during her seven clean days), but our general question is whether, God forbid, having sexual relations during the seven clean days and without a mikvah invalidates the immersion. If not, how much time needs to be counted again?
Thank you
Answer
Greetings,
It must be stated that as long as the woman has not immersed, even if she has been in her period for a long time, she is always considered to be in a state of niddah until she immerses (Shulchan Aruch and Rema Yoreh De'ah 195:1), and engaging in relations with her during this time incurs a penalty of karet (Rema there 185:1).
Also, any physical contact without engaging in relations is strictly prohibited, and it is forbidden to touch her even with a small finger, and one may not extend any object to her hand or receive anything from her hand, lest he accidentally touch her skin (Shulchan Aruch 195:2).
If the couple unfortunately stumbled into having relations during the seven clean days, according to the custom of Sephardim, she may clean herself with a cloth, and she should also wash herself well with hot water, such as by sitting in a bath with hot water to expel all the semen, and that day will not count towards her count of seven clean days, and she will complete the clean days and then immerse (Taharat HaBayit, Part 2, 13:17, and note there, item "nish'alti").
According to the custom of Ashkenazim, she must wait five days, and only after that may she continue counting the seven clean days. However, there are exceptional cases where Ashkenazim may also be lenient regarding thorough washing as mentioned above, and they should consult a Rabbi who knows them well (see She'eilos Uteshuvos Shevet Halevi 6:140:12, and Taharat HaBayit in the note there, and Responsa Teshuvos V'Hanhagos, Part 1, 365).
Best regards,
Hillel Meirs
