How to Overcome Spiritual Failure Without Falling Into Despair

We all want to do the right thing, to keep the commandments and avoid transgressions. And yet, as human beings, we inevitably struggle. How can we keep going without falling into despair?

Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Lugasi offers powerful encouragement in response to this very question:

It's important to understand where despair comes from. It often stems from your inability to see the good within yourself and the areas where you’re actually succeeding. Even in that one area where you keep stumbling, look more closely. Wasn’t there a time when you failed constantly, without ever overcoming it? Why ignore the times you have succeeded?

Rabbi Lugasi emphasizes that there is no prohibition against being encouraged by your progress and the divine help (siyata d’shmaya) you sometimes experience, even if you’re still struggling and haven’t completely broken free from a sin.

To illustrate this, he shares an empowering story he once heard from a great spiritual mentor (mashgiach) in Jerusalem:

A man once came to the Steipler Gaon and said: “Rabbi, I fail often.”

The Steipler asked him: “But do you sometimes win?”

The man repeated, “Yes, but I fail a lot.”

The Steipler asked again: “Still, do you sometimes overcome it?”

Again, the man insisted, “Rabbi, the failures are many.”

For the third time, the Steipler asked: “Please just answer, do you ever win, even sometimes?”

Finally, the man understood what the rabbi was getting at and answered: “Yes. Sometimes I do win.”

The Steipler said to him: “Then go in that strength. Go with those few victories. Let them encourage you. Draw strength from them. Believe that eventually, you will win completely.”

Even if you’ve failed, never stop praying, crying, and asking G-d to help you overcome the sin. The true tragedy, Rabbi Lugasi explains, is when a person makes peace with their weakness, gives up, and stops fighting altogether.

He concludes with this powerful  message: As long as a person keeps fighting, it doesn’t matter how many times they fall. Without a doubt, Heaven will eventually have mercy on them, and they’ll conquer their urges completely. That’s a guarantee, on the condition that they never give up on praying and fighting.”