Last-Minute Panic or Laid-Back Delay? Finding the Balance Between Stress and Calm

“Everything at the last minute! Can’t you just prepare ahead of time?” How many times has Ronen heard this sentence? Countless times. Has it helped? Not really.

“Why all the stress? I can’t deal with you anymore!”
How many times has Sigal heard this sentence? Also, countless times. Has it helped? Not really.

Whether you relate more to Ronen or Sigal- or know people like them- it’s worth asking: Why are some people overly anxious while others seem far too indifferent? And more importantly, if this is a problem, how can it be resolved?

What’s the Right Way to Live?

It's important to understand that people who behave either way usually live by a certain agenda or worldview. They often see something very positive in their behavior. So even if they want to change, they still believe their way has merit, and this belief reinforces the habit.

If you anxious people why they’re so tense, you’ll hear justifications such as: “It helps me perform my best,” or “It protects me from failure.” On the flip side, laid-back people will say that their approach gives them peace of mind, happiness, and that being a little late isn’t the end of the world. Each one is convinced their approach works- even if deep down, they’d prefer a balanced version of getting things done on time without being constantly stressed.

These rigid beliefs block change and reinforce the behavior.

Some people thrive under pressure, while others become paralyzed. The goal is to understand why- and see if it's possible to shift toward a more balanced, responsible, and calm approach.

Surprisingly, both overly anxious and overly relaxed individuals share a common trait: they don’t accurately perceive the passage of time. The anxious feel like time is slipping away too fast, whereas the relaxed feel like time drags on. Neither group is truly connected to the present moment.

Anxious people live in the past or the future- especially a future filled with dread, while the relaxed drift from thought to thought. In some cases, this is related to attention disorders.

Interestingly, both types have advantages. Anxious people tend to be more responsible, and relaxed people tend to be more creative. Many successful people embody one of these traits. Still, being more present generally makes a person more effective.

What Does Research Say?

Studies show that people are most effective when experiencing a moderate level of stress. Low and high stress both impair performance, affecting learning, focus, and memory.

Moderate stress helps people focus their thoughts and actions, blocking out distractions so they can better complete tasks. Even “positive” stress, when prolonged, drains energy and ultimately decreases efficiency. For this reason, periodic relaxation is essential.

Self-Test: How Well Do You Sense Time?

Sit in a quiet, distraction-free space. Set a stopwatch or observe a clock with seconds. Now, sit silently and wait until you feel a minute has passed. Then check the actual time.

• If you stopped early, your inner clock may be too fast- you tend to be anxious.

• If you stopped late, your clock may be too slow- you’re probably too relaxed.

If you got it just right- congratulations- many would love to learn from you!

What Can You Do?

1. Repeat the time-awareness exercise periodically.
It improves your internal sense of time.

2. Practice presence through mindfulness.
Each day, sit in a calm space. Gradually relax your muscles from your toes to your forehead, while taking slow, deep breaths into your lower abdomen. Notice sensations in your body and your emotions- simplu observe what is happening within.

Even while doing chores like washing dishes, pay attention to the feeling of the soap, the water on your skin, the textures. This type of mindfulness strengthens your connection to the present.

3. Challenge your beliefs.
Write down: What do I lose by being overly stressed or too relaxed? What would my life look like with moderate, balanced stress?

Reflect daily on these notes. Keep questioning your assumptions about stress and calm.

4. Recalibrate your time perception.
Regularly review how you estimate time. Your sense of time will slowly become more reliable, and influence your behavior positively.

5. Get proper sleep.
The better your sleep, the more present, focused, and effective you’ll be.

Good luck, and may you find the balance that helps you thrive!

To contact the 'Nafshi B'She'elati' department: 073-3333331 anat@htv.co.il