Vaccination: Not Just for the Body, But for the Soul

Recently, the topic of vaccinations has been in the headlines. But what about mental vaccination? Is there a way to protect our children and ourselves from future emotional harm? To build greater resilience? Success in life?

The answer is yes! There are many ways. I want to address two important points here that can enable our children and us to lead higher quality lives and have more resilient souls.

Moreover, there is no doubt that a strong soul affects the body's resilience. Take the immune system, for example: numerous studies show the connection between the soul and the body, and the impact of a healthy soul on the immune system. When a person is stressed, stress hormones are secreted that can harm their health. The impact of a healthy soul on the body is sharp and clear.

The primary place for mental vaccination is in childhood. Research shows that the human brain develops mainly up to age twenty. However, the younger a person is, the more their brain is influenced and able to "shape." It is essential to understand that every habit of a person is "recorded" in the brain through neural circuits. This means we, the parents, have an immense influence on the future lives of our children! It is an enormous responsibility and opportunity. As we instill positive insights, habits, and worldviews in the child—both about themselves and the world—their brain will be shaped and ingrained with these abilities.

The Sages say, "There are three partners in a person." The father and mother are partners in their creation. Now, imagine that God placed your child's brain in your palm and says: "Please, shape it responsibly!" God entrusted us with, to some degree, the shaping of our children's abilities and emotions.

There is a simple way, one that I personally highly recommend, which can powerfully impact our children. I also see clear, almost guaranteed results in people. We are talking about "labels." What do I mean?

We all have perspectives on our children's traits. When we "attach a label" to our child, like "inept," "irritable," "lazy," and so on, we inadvertently limit their ability to succeed! It's as if we frame their abilities, not allowing them to break through the boundaries we set for them. Because the child believes in their parents the most. Parents have tremendous power over the child's beliefs and worldview, and "if Mom and Dad say I'm lazy, then I must be that way, and there's no chance to change it." Such labels limit the child's capabilities, affecting their abilities later in life, in relationships, and everywhere.

But the opposite is also true. This is a tremendous tool that works wonders, in the hands of parents! A parent who conveys to their child how successful and capable he is of overcoming obstacles will have such a child! Absolutely.

Here, I get the expected question: "Well, this isn't serious, how can I say he's a good kid when he's just fighting with his sibling all the time?" Good question. The answer: We can always find the small moments, even with such a child, when they did a positive act towards their sibling. We just need to pay attention, and sometimes we need patience and "hawk eyes" to see the positive act, and then magnify it, and tell the child how good, accommodating, and so forth they are. Do it sincerely and naturally. Repeat it over and over. In the end, they will believe you that they are that way and will behave as such! You only need to speak...

Additionally, it is sometimes important to "not see" the child's negative actions. When you need to educate and correct, do so by negating the act, not the child. Not "you are messy," but "the room is not tidy." This is very important (see also on this site, my video, "Pygmalion Effect").

Another point, which concerns us: it is important to invest in developing the relationship with the spouse. A good marriage provides a sense of security and strength against life's challenges. If you examine your expectations from the marriage, behind every answer, if you delve deeper, you will see that a sense of security is hidden.

Take, for example: In the U.S., there was a phenomenon where people would marry in advance for ten to fifteen years. They already assumed that boredom would ensue... However, eventually, the phenomenon decreased after psychologists pointed out that this situation harms their sense of security. How can they feel support and security from their partner if tomorrow they might have "another option"?

Regarding this, there's an amazing study. People were given pictures of couples and asked to identify which ones looked alike. It was found that the more similar couples were to each other, the better their marriage! Researchers assumed that the dynamics and combination of emotions and thoughts between successful couples eventually lead to cognitive and emotional alignment. This causes their facial expressions to repeat similarly over time, shaping facial muscles (e.g., when smiling) and the forehead in a similar way over the years! (Of course, do not try to guess whom among you has a successful marriage based on this... it's not absolute).

See how far it penetrates. There's no doubt that the "togetherness" in a successful marriage creates another anchor of resilience for a successful life.

We can undoubtedly enable our children and ourselves to lead more mentally resilient lives if we only work correctly.

May there be divine assistance for success.

Hagai Tzadok is involved in psychotherapy and marriage counseling. For contact with the "My Soul Inquiry" department: 073-33-33-331, or anat@htv.co.il