The Ramban’s Letter: A Medieval Father’s Message That Resonates Today

A Father’s Timeless Message: From Medieval Spain to Modern Minds

More than seven centuries have passed since the death of Rabbi Moshe ben Nachman, known as the Ramban, one of the towering figures of Jewish scholarship from the era of the Rishonim (the medieval Torah scholars). A master Torah commentator and halachic authority, he passed away on the 11th of Nissan 753 years ago. Yet one of his most enduring legacies is not a legal treatise or philosophical work, but a simple, heartfelt letter he sent to his son. Known as Iggeret HaRamban, or the Ramban’s Letter, it has been cherished for generations as a guide to ethical living, emotional mastery, and deep spiritual connection.

According to tradition, the Ramban penned this letter to his son Nachman while the latter was living in Catalonia. Far from being just personal advice, the letter reads like a spiritual will. It focuses on core themes such as humility, restraint, and avoiding anger, traits that form the bedrock of a life lived in reverence of Hashem. Over time, the Iggeret HaRamban gained wide circulation and was printed in many versions of the siddur (Jewish prayer book) and has been studied and recited by Jews around the world.

The Path to Self-Mastery: Calm Speech, Humility, and Fear of Heaven

The Ramban’s advice is as practical as it is profound. He urges his son to read the letter at least once a week and makes a bold promise: on the day it is read, the reader will merit a heavenly response to all his requests. This idea transforms the letter from mere instruction into a spiritual anchor, a tool for regular introspection and Divine connection.

Structurally, the letter is divided into two main sections. The first is philosophical, laying out a worldview centered around character development and moral sensitivity. The second is practical, beginning with the words “Therefore I will explain,” in which the Ramban details how to translate these values into daily conduct. Central to his message is the discipline of calm and measured speech. “Always make it a habit,” he writes, “to speak all your words gently, to every person and at all times, and thus you will be saved from anger, which is a bad trait that causes people to sin.” For the Ramban, the way one speaks is both a reflection of inner character and a means to shape it.

This emphasis on gentle speech as the first step in self-mastery has resonated deeply with readers throughout the generations. The Ramban presents a model for personal growth that begins with the external, our words, and gradually moves inward toward humility and ultimately a profound connection with the Divine. Speaking calmly, he writes, helps a person avoid anger. Avoiding anger leads to humility, which in turn opens the heart to awe of Hashem. From there, a person becomes more aware of their origin, where they are headed, and the grandeur of the One before whom they stand.

The letter also offers guidance on Torah learning, instructing that one should study passages that can be put into practice. “Be careful,” the Ramban warns, “to always read Torah that you can fulfill. And when you rise from [learning] the book, search in what you have learned if there is something you can fulfill.” He recommends reviewing one’s actions each morning and evening and entering prayer with a clear heart and mind, prepared to stand before the Creator with awe.

Living the Letter: Daily Impact and Enduring Inspiration

Rabbi Avraham Chaim Feuer, in his booklet Letter for Generations, unpacks the psychological wisdom embedded in each line. He notes that people who feel that they are in control often succumb to anxiety and pressure. This illusion of control leads to shouting, frustration, and anger. In contrast, someone who trusts in Hashem speaks calmly, knowing that whatever happens is already decreed from Heaven. This fundamental shift in mindset, releasing control and embracing faith, can transform a person’s entire demeanor.

Commentaries over the years have emphasized the Ramban’s attention to detail. For example, they extrapolate the opening sentence of the letter and explain that “all your words" includes even moments of criticism or rebuke; “to every person” applies even to those who insult or provoke; “at all times” includes even the stressful or emotionally charged moments when patience is most difficult. The Ramban’s message is clear: consistency in speech is the foundation of character. The reward is immediate and lasting: freedom from anger and the sins that often follow.

This letter has not only been studied by scholars but has also guided everyday life. Several years ago, the late Rebbetzin Kanievsky was asked by a woman what she could do to be a good mother. The Rebbetzin’s response was simple and powerful: “Read the Ramban’s letter twice a week.”

The letter opens with a verse from Proverbs: “Listen, my son, to your father's instruction, and do not forsake your mother's teaching.” What follows is a comprehensive guide to spiritual living, calm speech, personal humility, daily introspection, meaningful prayer, and a constant awareness of Hashem’s presence.

The Ramban concludes with an appeal to make the letter a weekly practice, not just to read it, but to live by it. He writes, “Read this letter once a week and not less… so that you will succeed in all your ways and merit the World to Come that is reserved for the righteous. And every day that you read it, they will answer you from Heaven, as it will arise in your heart to ask forever. Amen. Selah.”

After more than seven centuries, the Iggeret HaRamban continues to change lives. Its wisdom is as relevant today as when it was first written: a gentle voice, a humble heart, and a soul anchored in truth.

Have you made the Iggeret HaRamban part of your weekly routine? Share your reflections and experiences below.