A Tearful Eye and a Joyful Heart: How Faith Transforms Suffering into Divine Connection

God says to Israel: “Know in your heart that just as a man disciplines his son, so the Lord your God disciplines you.” (Devarim 8:5)

The Creator is asking us to feel and internalize this truth — “Know in your heart” — that every pain or sorrow He sends is like that of a loving father correcting his child: born only of mercy, compassion, and a desire for our ultimate good.

Would a good father ever hurt his child without reason? Of course not. Yet sometimes, he must cause pain — and always, it is for a purpose.

• To educate and refine.
  A father may scold or even punish to teach respect, discipline, or better judgment. As Shlomo Hamelech taught: “He who spares the rod hates his son.” A parent who never corrects or guides lovingly does not truly act for the child’s good.

• To heal.
  A parent may allow a painful injection or bitter medicine to save the child’s life.

• To strengthen.
  Sometimes the father pushes his child with heavy study, hard work, or strenuous training, to help him grow stronger and achieve more.

Whatever the reason, the intention is the same: love. When the child cries, deep inside he still trusts his father. He knows — even through tears, that it is for his own good.

That is how we should see all our own trials and afflictions: “An eye that weeps bitterly, and a heart that rejoices.”

Our eyes cry and the the pain is real, but the heart, deep within, rejoices and trusts. It knows that every sorrow comes from the loving hand of a merciful Father who gives only what is ultimately good.

The Capsules

David Hamelech wrote: “Many are the pains of the wicked, but he who trusts in the Lord — kindness surrounds him.” (Tehillim 32:10)

The Chofetz Chaim asked: does that mean the righteous feel no pain? Don’t they also suffer? 

He answered with a parable: Two men must take a very bitter medicine. The first swallows it as it is — and feels the full sting of its bitterness. The second takes it inside a capsule — and feels nothing of the taste.

So it is with suffering. “Many are the pains of the wicked” — they taste the bitterness fully. Every trial torments them. But “he who trusts in the Lord — kindness surrounds him” — his suffering is encased in a capsule of faith.

He, too, experiences hardship, but it is softened by trust, and the awareness that it is all for his ultimate good. His heart feels the sweetness beneath the bitterness.

A Blow from a Friend

When the Rebbe of Sanz, Rabbi Chaim Halberstam, lost his beloved seven-year-old son, the funeral was held in the morning. Afterward, the Rebbe returned to pray Shacharit (the morning prayer).

Before beginning, he turned to his disciples and said: “Imagine a man sitting peacefully in his garden. Suddenly, someone comes from behind and strikes him sharply on the back. Angrily, he turns to see who dared disturb him — and finds that it is his dearest friend, the one who has always cared for him most. At once, the anger vanishes. He understands that the blow was not from hatred, but from love — a friendly pat he misjudged.”

Then the Rebbe continued: “When the blow came to me, I was shaken to the core. But immediately, I turned to see who had struck me, and I saw that it was the Almighty Himself, the One who showers me with endless kindness, the One I declare each day in the Shema that I love with all my heart, with all my soul, and with all my might. I received a blow — but from a most faithful Friend.”

And with that, the Rebbe began his prayer, saying with full heart and tears: “Give thanks to the Lord, call upon His name…”