The Benefit of Suffering: A Friendly Pat on the Back

AN EYE THAT WEEPS BITTERLY, BUT A HEART THAT REJOICES!

The Creator of the world says to the people of Israel (Deuteronomy 8:5):

"You should know in your heart that just as a man disciplines his son - Hashem your God disciplines you"!

Hashem asks and tells us: I want you to know and internalize well in your feelings ["know in your heart"], that all pain and suffering that I bring upon you are "just as a man disciplines his son," solely out of compassion and mercy, and with the purpose of benefiting you!

Would a good father hurt his children for no reason?! Certainly not. Why might he cause pain anyway? There could be various reasons. For example:

He might discipline his son to educate him. Through the punishment he gives now, the son will become better educated, stop being disrespectful, study better, and so on. After all, the wisest of men said: "He who spares the rod hates his son." A father who doesn't know how to set boundaries for his son, and when necessary even punish him, it's as if he hates his son.

He might cause his son pain for healing purposes. Perhaps the son is sick, and needs some injection or bitter medicine. Only this way can he recover and regain his health.

He might cause him certain discomfort - in order to help him grow and advance. For instance, imposing a difficult study load so he can acquire a profession, or instructing him to lift heavy weights to strengthen his muscles.

Either way - it's clear that the father certainly wants what's best for his son. Therefore, from the son's perspective, when he receives a punishment, pain, or certain hardship from his good and loving father, even if he cries and suffers, deep inside he trusts his father and knows it's for his benefit.

This should be our feeling toward any sorrow and pain that may come. "An eye that weeps bitterly, but a heart that rejoices"! Although it's difficult and painful, the heart is happy. The heart deep inside knows that it's for the good, that it's under Hashem's providence and mercy.

THE CAPSULES

King David says (Psalms 32:10): "Many are the pains of the wicked, but one who trusts in Hashem - kindness surrounds him." The Chofetz Chaim questions this: Don't the righteous also have pains?! Is it really true that only the wicked have suffering, while for the righteous everything goes smoothly?!

Rather, what is this comparable to? Two people took a bitter medicine for their healing. One - felt the full bitterness of the medicine, which caused him suffering and pain. The other - didn't feel the bitterness of the medicine at all, and why? Because it was wrapped in a capsule!

Thus, "Many are the pains of the wicked" - when suffering comes upon the wicked, they feel their full intensity and pain, it hurts them very much, and they scream and writhe. But "one who trusts in Hashem - kindness surrounds him" - one who trusts in Hashem, his sufferings are wrapped in a capsule of "kindness," he knows it's from Hashem for good, so it's easier for him to "swallow" them without feeling such great bitterness!

A FRIEND'S BLOW

The Admor of Sanz lost his beloved seven-year-old son. The funeral took place in the morning, and afterward the Admor came to pray the morning prayer. Before beginning his prayer, he said to his disciples:

A man was sitting peacefully in his garden, when someone came from behind and struck him hard on his back. In great anger he turned to see who dared disturb his peace in such a manner, and to his surprise he sees that it is none other than his greatest friend, who helps him in every area and matter that he needs. He understands that the pat was a friendly one, and he's no longer angry at all.

Well, said the Gaon, true, when I received the blow I was shocked and stunned, but immediately I turned to see who was striking me, and I realized that it was none other than the blessed Creator, who benefits me endlessly, and isn't He the one about whom I say several times a day, in the Shema, that I love Him with all my heart, soul, and might, and likewise He is the one who loves me with a love that no other loves me like? I received a blow from a very faithful friend! If so, let us begin to pray: "Give thanks to Hashem, call upon His name..."