Diet or Anti-Diet?

Dieting - a topic that occupies many of us. How many books have been written on dieting, how many methods have developed around the topic, numerous articles, lectures, groups, clubs, talks, and discussions - all about dieting. Who among us hasn't tried one diet or another? Fruit diet, juice diet, egg diet, cheese diet, bread diet, protein diet, diet before the holidays, diet after the holidays, diet for the holidays, diet for summer, diet for winter. So many methods, so many opinions, all seemingly dictated by authorities, and each method contradicts the other. Whom to believe? And how do we get rid of those extra kilograms once and for all?

Firstly, let's understand the secret of weight gain - our body consumes a certain amount of calories. It gets them from food, uses them for movement and various activities, and the excess is stored as fat - resulting in overweight.

Seemingly, the simplest solution is to eat less.

How simple?!

How difficult! Why?

We use the energy we get when we walk, talk, think, eat, and even rest, therefore we must nourish our bodies with different foods. However, the amounts of food we consume are far beyond what we need to provide the required energy for the body.

After a good breakfast, we all understand that a cup of coffee and cake at 10:00 are unnecessary for our bodies, and a lunch that includes an appetizer + soup + main course + sides + bread + compote + ice cream is enough to feed several people for a few days. Why, then, do we still behave this way?

There are many reasons why we overeat:

* Negative self-image - I am not satisfied with myself and do not accept myself. From childhood, I received negative messages, such as: "You're a bad boy", "Incompetent", "Annoying", "Rude." So, no surprise that today I feel this way, and therefore "I deserve" to look as I do.

* Negative emotions – Emotions such as resentment and bitterness make me feel bad about myself, and this gives birth to an unconscious sense of guilt, causing me to "punish" myself. Thus, through self-punishment, I feel I have atoned for the negative feelings I experience. It's like: I don't feel good with my bitterness, anger, or judgment. I hate myself and find relief in excessive eating and running to the fridge. Eating provides a temporary compensation of "I feel good," but very temporary, because afterward, I feel again what I felt before + guilt over what I consumed.

* Food as compensation for love - From childhood, we received messages such as "If you finish everything on your plate, mom will love you." When we cried, a bottle was offered. When we were in pain, "Take a candy and calm down," "Behaved well? You'll get a cookie!"

Food has always served as a reward and compensation for love. Mom expressed her love through food, and we learned that. Therefore, when we feel bad, are in pain, bored, sad, and lonely - we take a candy, cookie, ice cream, chocolate, and thus soothe ourselves.

* Boredom and emptiness - I'm bored, I don't know how to "fill" the time in a meaningful way, so I run to the fridge. Instead, I should be doing something else that will truly "fill" me.

* Stress - I am stressed, nervous, and tense, and I relieve the stress through compulsive eating. Since childhood, we've learned to calm down with food. When a baby cries, he is given a bottle, candy, or a cookie.

* * *

Those who manage to maintain their weight likely see food for what it is supposed to be - energy for the body, like fuel for a car or electricity for a light bulb. But, someone who eats a hearty breakfast, at 10:00 has cake + coffee, and at 13:00 is "starving" - is likely not truly "hungry for bread," but rather hungry for love, action, and activity, or it expresses feelings of boredom, loneliness, and dissatisfaction. It is important to recognize these feelings that lead to overeating and become aware of them. This will help us make a change.

If you ate a hearty meal two hours ago, there's a good chance you're not truly hungry. Recognize the feeling - is it true hunger or something else? Then, instead of heading to the fridge, tell yourself: "Ahh...now I'm bored," "Now I feel sad," "Now I feel lonely." Do something about it! Women can call a friend, volunteer for community service, find activities they enjoy, exercise, walk, etc. Men can engage in these activities with discretion, as long as they do not interfere with their obligation to study the Torah at all times.

Additionally, it is important to know that the secret to weight maintenance lies more in physical activity than in dietary restrictions. Thus, the excess energy from food won't accumulate in the body as fat, but will be used as fuel for physical activity.

We've said it all, yet, even though many understand these things, they still find themselves in the same weight loss-gain cycle. They diet for a period, gain weight, and diet again...

In the book "Guided Imagery" by Fanning, the modern approach to weight maintenance is presented. This approach is called "Anti-Diet," and it is based on the theory of "set-point", which states that our bodies have a weight with a fixed value unique to them. Each person has a body fat amount that is optimal for them. Some people are naturally thin and others are naturally heavy. Most of us are in the middle, and our goal should be to maintain our set weight without diets and without obsessive weight control. To live peacefully with our body and its weight.

The set weight, according to this approach, is genetically predetermined. In youth, when physical activity is reasonable, there will be a tendency to stay at the lower end of the weight set-point. As one ages, or reduces physical activity, there will be a tendency to drift to the higher end of the weight set-point. Even if we starve ourselves and our weight falls below the set-point, once the diet ends, and we resume eating what we crave, the weight will return to its set-point.

This, in fact, is the reason for the failure of diets, and we know this from reality. Dieters require less and less food to maintain their weight because the body defends its pre-set weight. Even if you start a diet and lose a few kilograms - you stop, despite continuing to manage your caloric intake. This is because when body weight falls below the optimal set point for it, which is predetermined, the body becomes more efficient and maximizes every calorie. The longer we starve ourselves, the sooner we stop losing weight and will need to reduce calorie intake again to achieve further weight loss. When you stop the diet and eat what you love, it's likely your weight will exceed your set-point. Scientists believe these fluctuations are also a reason for high blood pressure and heart disease. To find your body’s set-point weight, try to recall a time when you reached your full height and ate without being concerned about weight issues. Your weight from that period is your set-point weight, appropriate for your level of physical activity.

And now, some tips from "Anti-Diet" experts:

* Stop thinking about dieting. Focus on a healthy and balanced diet - your goal is health, not thinness. Shift to a menu with less fat, less sugar, less salt, and less processed and preserved food. Eat more whole grains, fresh fruits, and vegetables.

* It's important for the diet to be varied to provide the body with all the necessary nutritional components. Don’t be afraid to eat foods you love, abstinence increases the craving for them. Eat them in moderation and stop counting calories. You may gain a little weight, but it depends on your predetermined set-point weight and the period you maintained a diet. Few will gain more than 5 kilograms. Conversely, if you continue with crash diets, you’ll gain and lose 5 kilograms repeatedly, wearing yourself out physically and mentally. Over time your body will calm down, your craving for certain foods will diminish, and you may lose the 5 kilograms. But, it's a slow process. Allow this process to happen over at least a year or two. You’ve spent years dieting, now you'll need to give yourself time to acquire new eating habits.

* Add physical activity. It enhances fitness, reduces food cravings, improves mood, and allows you to return to your set-point weight more quickly.

* Compose several positive affirmations to help you maintain your weight: "I am satisfied with my predetermined weight," "My body knows what it needs," "I prefer to be healthy rather than too thin," etc.

* Recognize the feelings that lead you to eat: If it's stress - practice relaxation or breathe deeply. If it's boredom - take a walk or do something interesting. If it's loneliness - talk to someone.

* Change your eating habits: Eat slowly, moderately, vary the preparation and presentation methods, eat in a calm and relaxed atmosphere at a well-set table, and learn to enjoy meal time.

Finally, a tip for those "stuck" at a weight, and those unable to "move": Joining a group can sometimes help to take the first step more easily and successfully.

In any case, remember - crash diets do not last. A slow reduction is recommended, with the mindset: this is not a diet but a permanent change in eating habits. A change not for a period, only to revert to the familiar and beloved, but a continuous transition to correct and healthy eating habits.

Good luck!

Hania Luberboom is a clinical social worker, therapist, and Magen manager