"My Anger and Pain Are Stronger Than Anything"

"I feel like I can't function. I'm so frustrated by the conversation I had with my mother. I sat in front of her and felt how she couldn't grasp all the anger I have towards her and my father, how much it hurts me that they harmed me so much," said Daphna sadly.

"How did she react?", I asked.

"She defended herself and started saying she didn't know what I was talking about. I was so hurt and disappointed, after all these years she can't just reflect for a moment and understand the mistakes she made.

"I read so many books and listened to so many lectures on 'mind ruling over heart,' and how if I look correctly at the situation I will be able to control my emotions. But it just doesn't work. I feel that my anger and pain are stronger than anything in this world. I try to control them, channel them, soften them... it's just not helping, I'm not succeeding.

"I was in a whole course of positive thinking and it just didn't help, I feel like I'm destroying my life with my own hands," Daphna burst into tears.

"Daphna, let's try to go back to those moments with your mother. Describe to me the situation, when did it happen? Where? Who was there?".

"It was Thursday evening. My father stayed late at his business. The Shabbat fish is cooking on the stove, my younger siblings are watching children's programs, and there is a lot of noise."

"Close your eyes. Allow yourself, for a moment, to return to that situation, you are talking to your mother, smelling the fish, there's noise from children's programs and your mother disappoints you so much with this answer. What feeling comes to you now?", I asked.

"A feeling of strong pain," she replied.

"Every emotion has a physical expression in the body. Where do you feel this pain in your body?", I asked.

"In my chest," she replied.

"What physical sensation does this pain create for you in your chest?", I asked.

"A sharp constriction," she replied.

"Let's look inward at the chest? Describe to me this sensation of constriction. What's the very first image that comes to you?".

"A small tight fist," she replied.

"When you see this tight fist, what do you feel towards it?", I asked.

"Anger. I want it to come out of me already...".

"Let's try for a moment to do an exercise where you become the fist. How does it feel to be the fist?".

"I feel strength, power, as if I have a lot of force. Wait, I'm feeling something new, strange. First, I felt anger, then strength, and now fear is coming up. What's happening here?", she asked.

"Let's pause for a moment, and I'll explain to you what we did in this process, where we raised an image for the emotion.

"Raising the image allowed us to meet a threatening and powerful emotion in a regulated manner. This same emotion that just a moment ago colored your entire emotional world, causing you to be wholly identified with it, became something that can also be observed.

"The moment we allowed this emotion to take its place, it no longer needed the entire stage, and it fit into its dimensions - no more and no less than the real place it seeks to occupy and appear in.

"When such a move occurs, the soul gives space and allows other emotions to be revealed, so when this emotion receives a boundary – it will not spread endlessly and take over all parts of the soul," I explained.

"But why is it necessary to do this specifically through the body?", Daphna asked.

"The body does not lie. This is how the soul speaks to us, through the body, through sensations. It's a language that to recognize, we must practice it repeatedly.

"There's another reason we work with the body, and that is to avoid the danger of floating."

"Danger of floating?", Daphna asked in surprise.

"Yes. We are dealing with many abstract emotional parts. There is a danger of floating, a situation where the body disconnects, and then we act according to reason, but the body is in a completely different place. We need the body to serve as an anchor for us. Through approaching the body, we allow ourselves to experience the soul authentically and connectedly."

"And why precisely through imagery?", Daphna asked with curiosity.

"The imagery allows you to meet the emotion anew in a way that enables you to truly learn it, to listen to it genuinely, without being dependent on the same fixations that were around that emotion.

"Through the emerging imagery, you'll learn to listen to the true inner calm that exists within you, and bypass all the barriers that the intellectual and emotional worlds place in the way.

"Through imagination, we'll finally be able to speak the language of the soul, and allow all the forces to settle in their precise place, enabling the full range of emotions to be revealed. This way, you can enjoy a healthy and balanced life."

Inspired by the Dimyonova Method (from the facilitator training studies at the Dimyonova Institute).

Hanna Dayanhanna.tipul@gmail.com

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