Stop Diminishing Yourself: Discover Powerful Tools for Enhancing Self-Perception

In parashat Shlach Lecha, we read about the spies sent by Moses to scout the land. Upon their return, ten report in fear: "We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and so we seemed to them" (Numbers 13:33).

The fear and self-perception of the spies affected not only their mental state but also how others perceived them.

When we see ourselves as small or weak, we broadcast this to the environment, and the environment responds accordingly.

How can we break this cycle and change our self-perception? I will illustrate with an inspiring story from my clinic.

* * *

When Dana entered our first meeting, her body "spoke" more than her words. Slumped shoulders, downcast eyes, a weak voice. "I feel like a small grasshopper in a giant world," she whispered. Immediately, I was reminded of the spies' story: "We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes."

I understood we needed to change Dana's "mental map." We started with in-depth work on beliefs.

Reframing: Instead of "I am small in the world," we shifted to "I grow with every challenge."

Anchors: We created a physical "anchor"—pressing her palm—linked to a powerful moment in her life.

Changing Limiting Beliefs: We identified the belief "I am not good enough" and replaced it with "I am evolving and learning all the time."

Positive Self-Suggestion: I taught Dana to repeat the phrase "I am great, strong, and capable," every morning in front of the mirror.

Modeling: Dana chose an inspiring figure, and together we explored her thought and behavior patterns. Dana was asked to step into this figure's character and behave like her (actions lead to feelings).

After a month of mental work combined with NLP techniques, Dana came into the meeting as a completely different person.

With a straight back, direct gaze, confident voice, she said with excitement: "I feel strong and powerful! Every day, I discover more and more strength within me."

* * *

We all have great potential.

Change begins in how we perceive ourselves. When we start believing in ourselves, the world will believe in us.     

I invite you to do a small exercise: standing in front of the mirror, take a deep breath, look directly into your own eyes, and say loudly and clearly: "I am great. I am capable. I am worthy."

Connect with your inner power. Repeat the phrase three times.

More Practical Tips for Implementation

1. Identifying Negative Thoughts: Learn to recognize limiting thoughts and challenged beliefs.

If you notice yourself seeing yourself as a "grasshopper," stop and ask—is this reality? Am I truly weak and insecure? Is this the truth?

One of the most powerful tools to change self-perception is challenging our automatic thoughts. When we identify a negative or limiting thought, such as "I'm not good enough," it's important to stop and ask:

a. Is this fact or interpretation? Most of the time, what we think of as "truth" is actually subjective interpretation.

b. What are the proofs supporting this thought? Often, we find there are no solid proofs.

c. What are the proofs contradicting this thought? Try to find at least 3 examples that refute the negative thought.

d. What would I say to a good friend in a similar situation? It turns out we are much more understanding and compassionate to others.

e. How would I feel if I believed something else? Imagine a positive perspective and examine its emotional impact.

f. Is this thought helping me or harming me? If it's harmful, it's a sign that it should be changed. Our reality begins with our thoughts—so let's make sure they serve us well.

2. Focus on Strengths: Instead of noticing what's missing, pay attention to highlighting your positive abilities and capabilities. Celebrate every small success along the way.

3. Change Language: Change the way you speak to yourself. Instead of "I can't," say "I am learning and improving."

The tools presented here are just the beginning of a fascinating journey to discovering your inner strength. Every small step you take towards a more positive self-perception is eternal. Don't expect a dramatic overnight change—it's a process, and every process has its own pace. Be patient and compassionate with yourself.

Remember Dana's story. Like her, you can transition from a "grasshopper" state to a "giant" state. This potential exists within each and every person. Take a deep breath, look in the mirror, and see the greatness in you.

Head out into the world with faith, hope, and determination. The world is waiting for the most authentic, strongest, and amazing version of yourself.

I believe in you. Now it's time for you to believe in yourself.

Good luck on this wonderful journey.

Dr. Rina Mordo, PhD, is an NLP Master Trainer.