When Faith Collapses: Rebuilding from the Depths of Despair

“I feel like I’ve lost all my faith", Miriam said sadly.

“Nothing is changing. I can’t manage life anymore. I feel like the world is just too much for me. I’m exhausted. I have no strength left for anything. I did everything for a whole year, I fought, I went to therapy, and still nothing changed- the situation is exactly the same. I’m in complete despair,” Miriam continued.

“That’s an incredibly hard stage. You’re right in the thick of the darkness- but that’s also the moment right before the great sunrise,” I replied.

According to Chassidut, a person has three inner souls: the animal soul, the intellectual soul, and the Divine soul. Each one carries its own set of powers, and faith is like the Waze that leads all our desires, thoughts, emotions, speech, and actions.

Miriam is walking around with beliefs disconnected from any source of true strength beyond herself. When she experiences failure or disappointment in life, she crumbles internally, because it’s not only her reality that shatters, but also the belief she relied on so heavily. It's no wonder she feels lost, disconnected, unable to reintegrate with life.

Even though that belief is outdated or false, she keeps operating from it, and life continues collapsing on her.

There are three types of faith:

1. Faith of the Animal Soul – the Lowest Level

This is the belief in self only- in one’s intellect, feelings, and abilities. It is pure ego. The person feels everything depends on them, and they do not surrender to any force greater than themselves.

When such a person hits a wall- like an unfulfilled desire (e.g., delayed marriage, fertility struggles)- the ego pushes them into one of two natural responses:

• Total despair – depression.

• Fighting mode – using every resource at their disposal to force reality to change, no matter the cost.

This is the kind of faith Miriam was expressing when she said: “What else can I do? I’m in despair. What’s happening is breaking me. That’s it! Anyone in my place would break. That’s how I feel! G-d isn’t listening. I’ve lost faith in Him.”

She could just as easily have said the opposite (even though it seems contradictory): “I’ll do whatever it takes! I’ll get whoever and whatever I need to make this happen. I won’t stop until I get what I want.”

These are two sides of the same coin- both stem from pride.

2. Faith of the Intellectual Soul

This is belief in human knowledge, based on education and culture.

There’s natural submission to someone wiser or more experienced. This is a stage before awareness of G-d: a belief that there is something more beyond what we can discover on our own. With this faith, a person shapes their life around societal values and accepted knowledge.

Even animal and intellectual forms of faith can have positive aspects. As our Sages said: “Wisdom among the nations- believe it.”

Self-confidence built on belief in one’s G-d-given strength can be good, if a person recognizes that those abilities came from G-d. We all carry a mix of beliefs from different inner levels. The key question is: Where is your core belief rooted?

If you’re in despair, you likely haven’t tapped into the faith of the Divine Soul- the faith in One G-d. That level of faith only reveals itself when a person hits the existential loneliness of rock bottom.

At the height of darkness comes a flash of sharp light which is where the light breaks through and spreads into all layers of the soul.

That type of faith is born in the dark.

For this reason I told Miriam that this place she’s in is her biggest opportunity.

3. Faith of the Divine Soul

Faith in G-d is not inner confidence in the self or intellectual belief in science or knowledge. It’s not emotion or logic. It is above both and sits in the crown, the highest realm.

I turned to Miriam and explained: "Our work here is to repair all the beliefs you carry about yourself and about the world- whether they come from your intellectual soul or your animal soul.

We’re going to purify those beliefs until we reach that one clear, pure faith. From that place, you’ll be able to draw true life-force.”

The column was inspired by the book "Healthy Soul" by Rabbi Yitzchak Ginsburgh.

Chana Dayan hanna.tipul@gmail.com