Desire Can Wake You Up Before Dawn

I woke up to a dark house at five in the morning. I got ready, gathered my tallit and tefillin, and prepared to head out for sunrise prayers, when I heard noise coming from the kitchen. To my astonishment, three sweet children were standing there making sandwiches. I rubbed my eyes in disbelief. What’s going on here? I asked myself—and then them. They smiled. “We’re going to camp,” they answered casually, pronouncing the word camp with emphasis on the last syllable, as they continued packing sandwiches into small bags. “Bye, Abba,” they called out, and as they reached the door they added, “Mom said it’s okay, ask her.”

I didn’t want to wake her, and I was rushing to prayer, so I decided I’d check on it later. She told me afterward that they had begged to go to their "camp" before the regular transportation came in the morning. Don’t get me wrong- these kids wake up in the morning, sometimes even without much convincing. But to be up and making their own sandwiches while it’s still dark outside? That was surprising.

When I speak about willpower in lectures, I often ask the audience: What is willpower? The answers vary and are often fascinating. Some focus on the ability to do things you don't really want to do, or want only partially. For example, someone is sitting comfortably in an armchair at home. He knows he “should” go exercise, but he doesn’t really want to. So he forces himself to go, and that, people say, is willpower.

But is that really what willpower is? Does will require force?

As the story of the sweet little children demonstrates, when there is genuine desire, everything flows easily. Waking up early, being on time, and even making sandwiches.

Desire is a powerful force that propels us forward. When we are fortunate enough to discover genuine desire within us, it draws us forward, and we don't have to pull it along.

Desire is like the engine of a train- wherever the engine goes, the rest of the train follows. When there is desire, everything follows smoothly and even objectively difficult tasks become manageable.

Experts in attention and focus often say that someone with attention difficulties can still complete a task in one of two ways: either because they really want to do it, or because the deadline arrives and the pressure forces them to act.

I have a friend who is a classic case of ADHD and I once visited him at his art studio. He’s a truly gifted artist, and his studio feels like an artistic playground. I found him in a small room.

“What are you doing?” I asked. He pointed to a Torah crown.
“You see that?” he said. I nodded.
“I’ve been creating and attaching tiny silver letters to it for eight hours.”
“That’s amazing,” I said. “Eight hours straight?”
He nodded again. “Eight hours, my brother. I didn’t even get up from my chair until you came.”

That struck me as odd. This is a guy who can’t sit still for even five minutes. How could he be so engrossed in this work?

The answer is simple: desire.

We live in an upside-down world- a world where the result is the most important thing, rather than the internal process. In such a reality, desire is undervalued because it’s not something we can see with our eyes.

No matter what we’re going through or what obstacles stand before us, desire can guide us through and help us see challenges as opportunities. Before I try to change how I function in the practical world, I must search for my desire. I must uncover the will that G-d has implanted within me. Desire is something already inside us, it simply needs to be revealed and uncovered. When we succeed in discovering that desire, it pushes us toward what truly captivates us, and what truly matters.

Many times, desire is buried beneath fears, discomfort, conflicting superficial interests or confusion. Our work is to clarify that desire, to talk about it and to refuse to give up on it. To search for my desire- what do I truly want?

From Raanan Weber's new book, "Living the Day." To purchase, visit Hidabroot Shops or call: 073-222-125