How to Be Grateful Even in Hard Times: A Powerful Tool for Emotional Strength

When life is going smoothly, the kids are healthy, the home is peaceful, and the bank account looks good, it’s easy to feel grateful. What happens when things are hard and when the weight of life’s challenges makes it feel impossible to even lift your head? How is it possible to express gratitude when everything feels like it’s falling apart?

On the verse, “In distress, You broadened me” (Psalms 4:2), Rabbi Nachman of Breslov provides a comforting and deeply moving answer: 

“In distress, You broadened me", meaning that even within the distress itself, G-d expands us. If a person looks closely at G-d's kindness, they will see that even when G-d brings constriction or challenge, He is also expanding us, increasing His kindness toward us. That’s the meaning of the verse: ‘In distress, You broadened me’— Even in the heart of the difficulty itself, You gave me space and relief within it.

Even when we’re going through something difficult, G-d always places points of light, comfort, and help within the darkness. Of course, we need to pray to be delivered from our hardships, but at the same time, we can look for the glimmers of grace within them. We can always find some good, some form of kindness, if we learn to notice it.

How do we find “expansion” inside the pain? When we're drowning in problems, sadness tends to take over, and once it does it becomes incredibly difficult to see the good or appreciate what is working.

A powerful exercise:

Take a blank piece of paper and a pen. At the top, write: “Thank You for…” Walk around your house and write down everything you see. Don’t skip anything. Don’t only include big or important things, but write down even the tiniest details.

At first, it might feel a little silly. You pass a chair? Write: “Thank You for the chair.” A bowl of apples? “Thank You for the apples.” A piece of LEGO on the floor? “Thank You for the LEGO.” You pick up a shirt or even an eraser? “Thank You for the shirt. Thank You for the eraser.” Look at the wall? “Thank You for the clock, the photo, the shelf.”

Even though this exercise begins with physical things, something deeper begins to unfold and gratitude for the material opens your eyes to the spiritual. You see a pair of Shabbat candlesticks? You write: “Thank You for the candlesticks”—and suddenly, “Thank You that I celebrate Shabbat.” You write: “Thank You for the kids’ pants”—and realize: “Thank You that I have children.” Gratitude for the simple stuff reveals the deeper gifts we often take for granted—even during difficult times.

How does this attract more blessing into our lives? How does it help lift us out of sadness and help us “lift our heads” again?

This simple practice is based on two key principles:

1. What you focus on, grows.
   Anything you give energy and attention to will expand. Focus on what’s good, on what’s present in your life, and you open yourself up to more goodness from above.

2. What you write, becomes real.
   Once something is written down, it’s harder to ignore. There’s a huge difference between casually seeing something and actively acknowledging it. Writing makes us aware. You start seeing your world differently. Even the smallest things take on meaning, and you realize just how lucky you are to have them.

The days of Hanukkah are called “Days of Gratitude,” as it says in the traditional texts: “They established these eight days of Hanukkah for giving thanks and praise.”

These days are considered a taste of the World to Come—a time of spiritual delight. The essence of the next world is knowing and recognizing the Divine, and expressing heartfelt thanks and praise.

Rabbi Nachman teaches that someone who gives thanks is drawing close to G-d. Gratitude brings us into relationship, and through that closeness, we experience a piece of eternity.

May we all be blessed to see the good, even in the hard times. To give thanks, and to feel the closeness and comfort that comes from it.