When Faith Is Tested: Trusting God Even in Disappointment

A friend of mine once lived in a neighborhood far from his workplace, his wife’s job, and his children’s Torah school. All their needs were concentrated in another area, and he longed to move there. For two years, he strengthened his faith in God, reassuring himself: “If God wants me to have an apartment there, I will; if not, then remaining here must be the very best thing for me.” He accepted everything with love, trusting that God always does what is best.

After two years, a newspaper landed in his hands, listing apartments for sale. His eyes fell upon an ad for an apartment right in that neighborhood, on the very street of his and his wife’s workplace, and close to the children’s school. The price was fair, even within reach. Overjoyed, he immediately thanked God for the opportunity and picked up the phone. The answer came back quickly: “The apartment was sold — just half an hour ago, the contract was signed.”

Crushed and disappointed, he came to me. I said to him: “If that apartment was truly meant for you, who could possibly have taken it away? Clearly it was not destined to be yours.”

He replied: “I believe it wasn’t mine. The fact that I didn’t get it proves that. But what I don’t understand is why Heaven showed me the ad at all! Couldn’t God have hidden it from me so I wouldn’t be disappointed? Why let me feel it was within my grasp, only to take it away?”

I told him: “My friend, this is how God tests the righteous. For two years you spoke of faith, you strengthened yourself with trust that God does only what is best. Now comes the test: are those words mere lip service — or do you truly feel them in your heart?

If your reaction is anger and blaming yourself for not acting fast enough, or others for getting in the way, then your faith was not yet complete. If however, even now, you can truly accept that this too is for the best, without resentment or bitterness, then your trust in God is genuine. This is God’s way of testing His believers: as it is written, ‘The Lord tests the righteous’ (Psalms).”*

The Deeper Lesson

When dark thoughts surround you — when you face hardship, judgment, concealment, or despair, know that God’s presence is still with you. Even if you fall into the lowest pit, this faith will lift you up with greater strength, for God’s essence extends even to the deepest abyss and never changes.

There are no “other powers,” or rival forces to Him. All else is null and void. His light shines unaltered even into the depths. It is only our own misdeeds that bring us bitterness, as though there were separation between us and Him. In truth, He is all-powerful and ever-present.

As the Zohar says: “His divine radiance reaches to the deepest point without any change; only through our actions do we feel concealment, as though there were division — but He remains One.”