The Hidden Gift in Life’s Challenges: How God Turns Struggles Into Blessings

When dealing with difficult challenges, it's common for an individual to ask: “Why did God do this to me? How will I ever find my soulmate like this? Who will accept me for a job with this issue?” And yet, specifically in these times, we must remember that even what seems bad and limiting is orchestrated from Heaven, and the very “problem” may be your salvation.

Rabbi Gershon Munk told the following remarkable story that took place in the home of Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky:

A fine young yeshiva student came to Rabbi Kanievsky. He was outstanding in learning, with beautiful character and fear of Heaven, but he had one visible challenge — a large scar covering much of his face. The young man had reached marriageable age and began seeking his match.

On his first date, the young woman was impressed by his character, but the large scar on his face made it difficult for her to imagine him as her husband, and she declined the proposal with great regret.

He continued to meet other women who all admitted that he was an exceptional person, but refused to pursue the match further.

With a broken heart, the young man went to Rabbi Kanievsky’s home to tell him about his situation, to ask for advice, and to receive a blessing for finding his match. He shared the whole story.

Rabbi Kanievsky looked at him and said: “On your next date, tell her right at the beginning how you got that scar.”

That very week another match was arranged. The young man went to the meeting, and as soon as they sat down to talk, he said: “Before we begin our conversation, I want to tell you about the scar on my face. Forgive me for opening with this, but Rabbi Kanievsky instructed me to do so.”

The young woman was surprised, but listened. He said: “Years ago, I was walking the streets of Jerusalem late at night when I suddenly heard screams from an alleyway. I ran to see what was happening and saw a girl fleeing in terror, with an Arab youth chasing her, intending to harm her. I immediately ran after him. She managed to escape, and I caught the attacker and threw him to the ground. He began struggling with me and pulled out a sharp object, slashing my face. This scar has been with me ever since.”

As he spoke, he noticed that the young woman was trembling and beginning to cry. Embarrassed, he asked her why she was crying. She replied: “I was that girl! My whole life I wanted to know who saved me, to thank him for rescuing me — and now I see God’s hand in bringing us together.” In Adar of 2011, the couple set their wedding date.

The Talmudic Sages teach that ever since the creation of the world, God sits and arranges matches, always perfectly suited and at the right time. Sometimes a person thinks: “Who would want me with such a scar? Who will marry me at this age? Why did God give me this problem that ruins my chance for marriage or livelihood?” However, the truth is that everything God does is with kindness and mercy, and often the very scar, the very problem, is the key to salvation.

When God wishes to bestow good upon a person or upon the world, He often cloaks it in concealment, which is the reason that it is preceded by suffering.

There are no mistakes with God! What appears to us as disaster, wound, or lifelong hardship may be the doorway to blessing. It is as if God says: “My dear child, you do not see the whole picture. You don’t understand why this difficulty has come to you, but it is only for your benefit! Precisely because of this scar, your spouse will want you. Precisely because of this struggle or this timing, you will receive the best that is meant for you. Your suffering itself is the gift that brings you to your unique destiny.”

One must never say: “Why was I born this way?” Instead, remember that “God’s compassion extends to all His works.” Everything He provides is filled with mercy and good — even the pain and challenges are treasures placed in your life to deliver you the very best.

One woman told me that her husband, though unable to concentrate for long, had boundless energy. That very “shortcoming” became the source of his greatness as it enabled him, as a community activist, to help thousands of people and accomplish far more than would have been possible otherwise. His “flaw” was in truth a remarkable gift to those around him.