Faith Through Life's Challenges: Parenting, Marriage, and Miracles

Having children is a gift—an unearned blessing from G-d, while raising them is often a serious challenge. A man once approached me with a heartfelt question: “What should I do? G-d has blessed me with three healthy sons, but recently, all three have been diagnosed with attention and concentration issues. Almost every day, one of them is sent home from school for disciplinary reasons.”

I replied with a question of my own: “Do you believe there’s a Creator who runs the world?”
He answered sincerely, “Of course.”
I continued, “Do you believe it was He Himself who chose to give you children with these specific challenges?”
“Absolutely,” he replied.
“And do you believe that He could change the situation for the better at any moment?”
“Of course.”
So I said to him, “Now that you understand that only G-d can truly help you, don’t give up. Turn to Him. Pray. Speak to Him. Try to convince Him, like a child pleading with a loving parent. You’ve already done half the work, just by recognizing who’s really in charge.”

In the process of finding a life partner, faith is tested in its own unique way. The process is complex and filled with uncertainties—there are so many factors at play including physical attraction, education, money, family background, personality, and more. Every man and woman has their own “list” of what they’re looking for. Even if they do find someone who fits their hopes and dreams, it still depends on whether the other person feels the same.

When you're young, this all seems manageable. But after years of searching, disappointments, and rejections, doubt begins to creep in: Maybe I don’t deserve to get married… Maybe no one like the person I want even exists in the world…

These thoughts are natural, but they’re not the truth. There is a Creator and He can provide any woman with the husband she desires, and any man with the woman his heart seeks. There is no limit to what He can do. Our role is to continue believing and to keep our faith alive, just as the prophet Habakkuk taught: “The righteous live by their faith.”

A wealthy and loving father would be touched to know that his child thinks of him constantly, and that whenever the child runs into trouble, his first instinct is to turn to his father for help. That illustrates a real bond. In the same way, G-d wants us to think of Him always. As King David said, “I place God before me always.”

Belief in G-d isn't just a comforting idea, but a fundamental commandment in the Torah. The Biur Halacha mentions this explicitly in the very first chapter of Jewish law. If we could truly train our minds to think of G-d as the real solution to our struggles, we’d merit to see His help more clearly in our lives.

Allow me to share a personal story. Twelve years ago, my wife and I were overjoyed to learn that she was pregnant, with twins. During a routine checkup, the doctor gave us devastating news: one of the fetuses had a severe heart defect and no chance of survival. He sent us for more comprehensive tests.

We went to a hospital, where two world-renowned professors examined the ultrasounds and data. Their conclusion was unanimous that the baby would not survive more than five minutes outside the womb. They advised termination.

My wife and I left the hospital heartbroken. Our faith was shaken. How could we deal with this? How could we believe that G-d could fix something so dire?

Back at the study hall, I opened the classic Jewish book Chovot HaLevavot (Duties of the Heart), specifically the section on trust in G-d. The words felt like cold water on a parched soul. Slowly, I began to internalize what it was saying: There is a Creator who holds every soul in His hand. He gives life by His will, and there is nothing stopping Him from healing that fetus in a single moment.

Instead of focusing on what the doctors said, I redirected my energy toward spiritual action: praying deeply, giving charity, and honestly reflecting on how I could improve myself. We also reached out to rabbis and spiritual mentors to pray on our behalf. We did not follow the doctors’ advice to go to a high-risk clinic or to pursue further testing.

Eventually, a C-section was scheduled. The plan was to coordinate with the cardiac surgery unit, so they could immediately operate on the baby and attempt to save her life.

As I stood outside the operating room, saying Psalms, a nurse came out holding a newborn and said, “Mazel Tov—it’s a girl!” She was healthy, thank G-d, and taken to the nursery. I was moved, but my thoughts were focused on the second twin—the one we were told wouldn’t survive.

A few minutes later, another nurse came out with the second baby. “Mazel Tov—another girl!” she said. I was stunned. They were supposed to rush this one to emergency heart surgery. What was going on?

After a brief check, I was told she was breathing on her own and didn’t need surgery. I took her in my arms, tears streaming down my face, and all I could think was: Thank You, G-d. Thank You for hearing my prayers. Thank You for not abandoning us in such a dark moment. Just…thank You.

In the years since, I’ve had many pregnant women come to me, asking for prayers because doctors had found serious issues with their unborn babies, including heart defects, Down syndrome, and other difficult diagnoses. Every time, I felt a quiet but strong confidence when praying for them, because I had seen the impossible with my own eyes.

I would tell them about my daughter, and how there’s absolutely nothing stopping the Creator from healing a fetus, no matter what the doctors say. I told them what I witnessed firsthand. One by one, these women made the courageous choice to continue their pregnancies. Thank G-d, every one of those families was eventually blessed with healthy, happy children.

Once you’ve seen G-d’s salvation with your own eyes, there’s nothing more powerful than that.