Are Sons More Important Than Daughters in Judaism? Understanding the Jewish View on Boys and Girls

Or asks: “My wife asked me why people often pray specifically for a baby boy. Does Judaism consider boys superior to girls? Does that mean a woman is valued less than a man?”

* * *

Hello Or, and thank you for the thoughtful question.

First, it’s important to clarify that according to Judaism, man and woman are not rivals but complements. Only together are they called “Adam” — a complete human being.

The Torah never presents a woman as inferior to a man. Instead, she is described as inseparable from him — “one flesh”. The Talmudic Sages explain that man and woman are truly one essence. The first human, Adam, originally contained both male and female qualities in a single being, until God separated them into two. This is why the book of Genesis (5:1–2) says: “On the day God created Adam… He called their name Adam on the day they were created.” According to Kabbalah as well, one soul descends into the world and then divides into a man and a woman.

Women in Jewish spirituality

Unlike most cultures in history, Judaism explicitly acknowledges women as prophets: the matriarchs Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah; as well as Miriam, Deborah, Hulda, and Queen Esther. The Sages emphasized that the Divine Spirit (Ruach HaKodesh) can rest upon anyone — Jew or non-Jew, man or woman, free person or servant, depending only on one’s deeds. They even taught: “Just as Israel had 600,000 prophets, so too they had 600,000 prophetesses” (Shir HaShirim Rabbah 4:22).

On the verse “Whatever Sarah tells you, listen to her voice” (Genesis 21:12), the Sages noted that Sarah surpassed Abraham in prophecy. This shows that women can reach the highest spiritual levels. In fact, the Midrash teaches: “The generations are redeemed only in the merit of the righteous women of the generation” (Ruth Zuta 4).

The mitzvah of children: sons and daughters

Far from preferring only boys, Judaism uniquely commands having both sons and daughters. The mitzvah of pru u’rvu (be fruitful and multiply) is only fulfilled when a father has both a boy and a girl. Rambam (Maimonides) rules: “A man is obligated in the commandment of procreation… and he does not fulfill it until he has a male and a female, as it is said: ‘Male and female He created them’” (Hilchot Ishut 15).

If someone has only sons, he has not fully fulfilled the mitzvah and he must also hope and pray for daughters. Similarly, one who has only daughters prays for sons. Both are essential for completing this Divine command.

Interestingly, some rabbis even expressed a preference for daughters. Rav Chisda, one of the great Talmudic sages, said openly: “For me, daughters are more precious than sons” (Bava Batra 141a).

Natural balance between parents and children

On a natural level, mothers often feel a deeper emotional pull toward their sons, while fathers often feel especially bonded with their daughters. This balance seems intentional, designed by God so that both sons and daughters receive love and protection from their parents.

Why some pray first for boys

There are traditional reasons why prayers often emphasize sons first:

1. Mitzvot and Torah study: Boys are obligated in all 613 commandments and in lifelong Torah study. Praying for sons is partly a prayer for more Torah and mitzvot in the world.

2. Family lineage: Traditionally, sons carried on the family name and heritage, while daughters would usually join their husband’s family.

3. Social realities: Historically, it was considered more challenging to marry off a daughter, with greater responsibilities and worries falling on parents.

This does not mean daughters are less valued. Many daughters bring more joy, wisdom, and spiritual growth to their families than sons. Many women have been the foundation of Torah homes, some becoming spiritual leaders in their own right and spreading holiness and peace in Israel.

The Jewish view

While tradition led people to pray first for boys, halacha (Jewish law) demands bringing both sons and daughters into the world. A Jewish family that is blessed with daughters fulfills a mitzvah from the Torah just as much as with sons. Unlike some cultures where daughters were viewed as a burden, Judaism views them as a Divine blessing and a fulfillment of God’s will.

Ultimately, both sons and daughters are essential, equal parts of the Jewish mission. Together, they complete the mitzvah of creation and reflect the wholeness of humanity as God intended.