Conversion: Embracing Your True Jewish Essence

The Jewish Paradox
It might seem odd, but even someone who dislikes Jews can still be Jewish. When we talk about conversion or ask the loaded question, “Who is a Jew?” many of us fail to grasp what Jewish identity is all about or why halacha works so hard to safeguard it. It’s counterintuitive that these fundamental concepts seem particularly ambiguous in the State of Israel, the Jewish people's homeland.

When people say things like, "He's more Jewish than so-and-so," or ask, "How can he not be Jewish if he served in the IDF?" they don't realize that they’re confusing two different things - Israeli citizenship and Jewish identity. Being Jewish isn't about what we do or our IDF service. It's about something far deeper. Jewish identity is not a title that someone else can confer upon you. Jewish identity is part of your core. When we make the mistake of trying to assess someone's Jewish identity based on their behavior or the things they says, we miss the point and fail to understand what it really means to be part of the Jewish people. 

At the end of the day, being Jewish comes down to your mother's identity. If your mother is Jewish, you’re Jewish - even if you reject your heritage or faith. And if your mother isn’t Jewish, you also aren't Jewish, regardless of how deeply you love Israel or how faithfully you keep the commandments. A self-hating Jew who is Jewish by birth retains his Jewish status, even when he makes choices that go against his community.

On the other hand, a non-Jew who loves Israel deeply, joins the IDF, and even places his life on the line for the safety of Jewish people is still a non-Jew. He is a good person, even a righteous one, but that doesn't make him Jewish. You cannot acquire Jewish identity by aligning yourself with certain causes or goals. Jewish identity is not about actions or statements of support. It's an inner, essential part of who you are. Someone who is born a Jew will always remain a Jew, even if they make choices that go against their people. Similarly, a non-Jew can’t become Jewish just by supporting the Jewish people. Jewish identity runs so much deeper than that. 

The Torah explains that the Jewish people "are children to Hashem your God." This special bond mirrors the connection between a father and his child. A child doesn't become his father's son because he admires his father or shares the same opinions and approach to life (though we certainly hope he does). A child assumes the status of "son" because he was born to his father. It's a biological fact. It's something deep and natural that isn't based on actions or feelings.  

The father-son relationship is determined by birth, a son's behavior and personal feelings toward his father notwithstanding. On the other hand, even if a child deeply loves an adult figure in his life and feels extremely connected to him, he cannot actually become his son. Being someone's son is not a status that can be "earned." 

The same is true for being Jewish. One who is born to a Jewish mother remains Jewish, regardless of his behavior. He is always a child of Hashem. And someone who wasn't born Jewish will always be a gentile, even if he loves Hashem and the Jewish people with all his heart. He may be a very special and beloved friend of the Jewish people, but he isn't a Jew.

That said, there is one beautiful exception to this rule: if a non-Jew undergoes a proper halachic conversion, he can become Jewish. This process is not just an outer change.  It’s a transformation of the soul, which is something that can only be effected by Hashem Himself.