Guy Zoaretz Breaks Down: "Why Didn't I Hug Him Tight Enough the Last Time I Saw Him?"

The host and actor Guy Zoaretz shared his feelings following the murder of his nephew, Ilai Baram z'l, at the Nova Festival. The post he published describes coping with the pain since that tragic day.

"A year. A year since that sunrise," wrote Zoaretz to his followers on his Instagram account. "Ilai arrived there half an hour before, to catch that peak moment. It was supposed to be the most beautiful moment... of such beautiful young people. But the sun did not bring beauty with it. That sunrise stopped time for us."

Zoaretz continued: "I read a bereaved mother who wrote that she feared this moment – understanding that a full life cycle passed – all the seasons came and went, all the holidays... but the air stands still. You can feel it in our homes. Will this moment last forever? Some are trying to go back... find every detail, every hint about the last moments... the last words they heard accompany them day and night. We are all trying to cling to something, as we stand at the edge of the abyss."

Zoaretz told that, in hindsight, he has many questions. "Nothing will ever be the same. Nothing prepared us for this moment. The memories are so vivid... Did I tell him enough that I loved him? Was I good enough for him? Why didn't I hug him tight enough the last time I saw him?" he wrote.

To conclude, he wrote about the immense loss and attempts to continue with his life: "Each day that passes, every hour, every second, you feel the vast void that opened. We thought our love for Ilai was the biggest thing until we lost it... time is a silent reminder. A year that I try to walk in the light of my angel, the dreams have changed, the understanding of what truly matters. What helps my family is the thought that Ilai... surely wants to see us continue living beyond the pain... continuing to choose life."