Magnificent and Emotional: Sewing 'Memory Dolls' from the Clothes of Victims

When bereaved families first hear about Michal Kespite-Bubrov's initiative to commemorate their loved ones through sewing dolls, teddy bears, or patchwork quilts, they often raise an eyebrow. What is the connection between these decorative items and a fallen or deceased family member? However, as they become more familiar with the idea, some of them connect deeply with it and even find a place of comfort. This is also why many of them reach out to her and express interest. 'There are also those who do not connect with it as much, and that's perfectly fine,' Michal emphasizes.

A Tangible Keepsake

The initiative, as Michal describes, did not begin with the current war but rather several years ago. 'I come from a world of art and creativity,' she explains, 'I have always sewn quilts, pillows, decorative items, and such. I also served as an art and sewing teacher in schools and community centers, but when COVID broke out, like many others, I lost my jobs and had to reinvent myself.'

While Michal was wondering which direction to take, someone contacted her and asked her to create a 'memory teddy bear.' 'Initially, I didn't understand the idea, but after she linked me to international websites, I saw that it was actually a common practice abroad - taking a piece of clothing, blanket, or attire of the deceased and making a teddy bear or doll as a keepsake. It's important for me to emphasize that it's not a doll wearing the clothes but is sewn and made from them.'

Michal took on the task, and the result was apparently very successful, as more and more orders followed. 'I found myself overwhelmed with work,' she shares, 'It wasn't always about tragic memorials of those who passed away. There were also joyous occasions that people wanted to commemorate, like parents who asked me to sew a teddy bear from their growing child's clothes to keep as a keepsake; a bride who asked me to sew a doll from her wedding dress, not because something happened to her, but to preserve it; in another case, a kind grandmother asked me to sew a teddy bear for her granddaughter, made from a shirt she wore at her age, and of course, there were also difficult cases where they wanted to commemorate someone no longer with us. Sometimes they added certain items to the clothing that characterized the person, like a watch he used, a book he used to read, a tie that characterized him, and so forth.'

Do people share their stories with you?

'Yes, and that is the hardest part of this work. Because many people who come to me sit and cry, each sharing to the extent that suits him, but unfortunately, I have found myself over the past few years dealing with tragedies that are very hard to comprehend.'

And do the teddy bear or doll really give them strength?

'I don't know if they give strength, but they certainly provide comfort. I think there is something comforting in having an item at home that you can hold and feel that reminds us of our dear one, sometimes even retaining their scent. I've heard of children who sleep with the dolls I sewed at night, or who regularly place them on the shelf, and there have also been requests to commemorate not through a figure, but with a decorative pillow or a quilt made of clothing patches. I don't know the deep psychological explanation behind these things, but the reality is that many people find comfort in it, especially when it comes to children who need tangible keepsakes the most.'

'I Wanted to Contribute My Part'

In these days of war, Michal found herself feeling that she wanted to contribute something of her own to the families of the fallen and murdered and called on these families to send her their clothes or items, so she could sew them a teddy bear or decorative item free of charge.

'From that moment, I have received many requests,' she shares, 'and I must admit that the pain is unbearable, some of the stories are familiar to me from the media, in many cases these are parents who lost their young children, and it's the most horrible thing I can imagine. Recently, parents who were expecting to see their children get married but were murdered in a massacre visited me. They asked me to sew a teddy bear for each of them. I sewed and cried. I couldn't help but think about them. Just today, I sewed a doll from the clothes of a paramedic who was killed while treating the wounded and saving lives. The parents asked me to sew the doll from her MDA uniform that she wore, and I did. The stories are fascinating but also painful; you cannot ignore the longing and the terrible loss of the families. I am glad I have a way to help them, to bring them happiness, if just a little.'

Are you prepared to make so many dolls? Unfortunately, there are so many difficult cases in this war...

'Many requests indeed come to me, and I am already overwhelmed with work. But I am entirely prepared to continue sewing for everyone, as long as I can of course.'