"21 Years We Waited for a Son, and It Finally Happened"

A tiny baby dressed in white, an excited family, a Sandak seated on Elijah's chair, and a Mohel preparing for the circumcision. A brit milah event is always thrilling, but for the Gutfarb family, the excitement was soaring. Complete silence filled the hall when Rabbi Gutfarb blessed emotionally "Shehechiyanu v'kiy'manu v'higi'anu lazman hazeh," with the baby's cries in the background soon joined by others. Many eyes in the audience teared up, unable to believe the magnitude of the moment.

"Twenty-one years we waited for this moment," says mother Tzipi Gutfarb in an emotion-filled conversation, "No words can describe what we've been through over these years. How much we waited, prayed, hoped, and asked, and yes, honestly, at some point, we believed less it would happen, but we always hoped."

Mission in Ukraine

"I always tried to avoid my dilemma," Tzipi recalls the beginning of the story. "It was hard to digest waiting year after year without children arriving. I tried my best to hide my struggle, not to see the pitying glances of people. I was truly embarrassed if someone would point at me and ask, 'Pray for her.' I always reacted: 'It's okay, Hashem knows who they are praying for.' I couldn't share that I was going through a hard test. I couldn't.

"Even when I'd go away for Shabbat with my husband and encounter people asking, 'How did you manage with the kids?' and 'Where did you leave them?' I'd answer, 'There's someone very good watching them.' I meant Hashem."

After years of struggle, friends suggested Tzipi and her husband fly to a mission in Kyiv, Ukraine. "Bring children closer to Hashem," they were told, and cautiously suggested, "Change of place, change of fortune, add merits, and maybe you'll be blessed too."

"Honestly, it sounded like a wonderful idea," Tzipi notes, "We probably needed this change. Shortly after, we flew to Kyiv and immediately started demanding work with a lot of satisfaction and challenges. We just didn’t consider that the difficulty would continue there. Year after year passed, and we continued to wait. But with Hashem's help, our mission was profoundly satisfying, and there was never a dull moment."

Activity in Ukraine

What did your mission involve?

"At first, I was a teacher, and my husband ran a cheder for the children of missionaries and those who returned to faith. Later, my husband started managing the community, and I became a deputy principal and social coordinator. Our activities were truly heartfelt. We were privileged to bring hearts closer, lead grooms to weddings, conduct brit milahs in the community, where my husband was sometimes given the name. Amid all the great joys, the pain lingered: 'What about our children? When will Hashem bless us?'"

Waiting for a Miracle

Tzipi recalls an unforgettable event: "On one Shabbat, while lighting candles, I found myself praying and sharing my feelings with Hashem: 'It's hard for me, the test is strong and confusing. If bringing children into the world isn't my mission, remove this desire from me.' I stood crying, adding and aching: 'They tell me I'm like the mothers who pleaded for years for children, but I don't want to be like them! They say I'm like Abraham Avinu, who endured hard tests, but it's hard for me to be on Abraham's level. Master of the world, guests will soon arrive for Shabbat, and I don’t even have the strength to wipe the tears and set the table.'

"That Shabbat, we hosted a family who eagerly wanted to enroll their child in the cheder, but it wasn't possible since he didn’t fit the age group. We sat around the table, and the mother shared her feelings: 'I didn't know how to explain to my child that he couldn't attend the cheder because he doesn’t understand what an age group is.' Then she added, saying she decided to take him to a major toy store in Kyiv to pick any toy he wanted. She did indeed take him, he chose a toy truck and cheered up. Hearing this story, I couldn't help but compare it to my personal test. I truly heard the Master of the World tell me: 'I've given you a test, and I won’t explain to you why, because you can’t understand, but within the test, I'm giving gifts to help you withstand the difficulty.' Looking back today, I see so many gifts I received then, especially the ability to talk to Hashem in the most tangible way.

Activity in Ukraine

"The fact we resided in Ukraine was also a great gift, as I was never alone within four walls. We always hosted at home, sometimes with dozens of guests over Shabbat. We were constantly engaged in activities, which left little time to dwell on difficulties, especially being far from family in Israel and friends we love dearly. Yet, living together might have caused hard feelings and comparisons.

"Living in Ukraine had another great advantage, allowing us to frequently pray at the graves of righteous ones. I seized every opportunity to pray by Rabbi Nachman of Breslov, the Baal Shem Tov, Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev, and other righteous ones. I felt the prayers piercing realms, constantly feeling how close Hashem was to me, and despite the almost discouraging wait, I anticipated a miracle."

And indeed, a miracle occurred. "After 15 years of marriage and seven years of mission work, we were blessed with a daughter," Tzipi notes with excitement, "It was in the month of Nisan - the month of miracles. As a result, we decided to return to Israel, thinking we would remain here, but Hashem had other plans. During the COVID-19 pandemic, we were asked to return to the mission abroad, as no other emissaries remained. We hesitated, as it was inconvenient during COVID times, the transition demanded much from us, but we understood the Jewish community's need was a priority, and that was the way to continue strengthening it. I remember talking to the Master of the World, crying and pleading, 'We are ready to do everything for Your children, please bless us with a son.'

Complete Uncertainty

Shortly before the Russia-Ukraine war broke out, the Gutfarbs received earth-shattering news, albeit not the kind sent by Putin. It was an enormously positive, surprising, and exciting revelation that their prayers were answered and they would soon become parents to a son. Due to the distance, families in Israel weren't aware of it, and apart from the closest circle, no one shared in the exciting news.

However, when Putin started threatening war, their parents asked them to return to Israel. "We packed and arrived in Israel about a week before the war broke out," explains Tzipi. "We did it only because the family was anxious. The plan was that I would stay in Israel, and my husband would return to Ukraine after a few days. That’s why we only brought a small suitcase for me and a bag with my husband's belongings. But upon landing in Israel, we were informed that COVID-19 patients were found on the plane, so we had to quarantine. Initially, we resented it, but eventually, it proved beneficial as Putin began bombing the area where we lived in Kyiv."

Tzipi and her husband were released from the quarantine hotel, rented a small apartment, and began living life with the ongoing sense that the war might end any moment. "Those were days of complete uncertainty," Tzipi recalls, "We moved from one temporary apartment to another, not wanting to commit to any rental for more than a month. Each time we went shopping, I'd only buy what I needed for that day, feeling it was a waste to purchase more when I had a large, well-equipped home in Ukraine.

"At one point, we asked our cleaner in Ukraine to pack nine suitcases with our most important items – clothes, silverware, and basic electronics. For ten months, we waited for the suitcases, constantly refraining from buying new equipment, because 'our belongings will arrive soon.' However, it wasn't straightforward. The suitcases did reach Israel, but customs requested money for them. We explained we were war refugees, not dealing with commercial equipment. Their response was: 'If you're from Ukraine, then the suitcases should come from Ukraine and not through another country,' and they sent them back abroad. Ten months after our arrival in Israel, we decided to give up and make a large, concentrated purchase of everything we lacked. I tried to buy items most similar to what I had. Exactly a week after that purchase, the suitcases arrived."

A Child of Miracles

During this time, the months of pregnancy continued, and Tzipi began to realize that even if they could return to Ukraine, she would not, as she wanted to give birth in Israel. With excitement, tension, and immense anticipation, she and her husband counted the days. "It was indescribable stress alongside unlimited excitement," she describes. On the 17th of Nisan, 5782, their dream came true when after 21 years of waiting, a son was born.

The Moving Brit (Photo: Yishai Yerushalmi)

"It's no mere coincidence that our son was born in the month of Nisan, the month of miracles," says Tzipi, her voice choked with emotion, "He is a child of miracles; there is no other explanation. We held the brit milah at the 'Kramim' hall in Beit Shemesh, initially intended for weddings. Hundreds of people attended the event, and we felt divine providence as several of our community families from Ukraine were in Israel and also joined our special joy. We named the baby 'Nachman Yisrael,' after Rabbi Nachman and the Baal Shem Tov. May he walk in their ways."

The great dream materialized, but Tzipi and her husband had several challenges remaining. "Two weeks after the birth, we found ourselves with a small baby, minimal belongings, and without a roof over our heads," she shares. "We had to decide whether to rent a longer-term apartment or still return to Ukraine. There was also the option to move to one of the borders where some families from our Kyiv community were settled. True, it seemed safest to stay in Israel, but our hearts remained in Ukraine. Besides, we had no job in Israel."

A current photo on Purim (

Caught in these dilemmas, Tzipi and her husband decided to consult with Rabbi David Abuhatzeira. "We traveled by train from Jerusalem to Nahariya," she recalls, "I waited outside with the baby while my husband met the rabbi, returning a few minutes later quoting: 'The rabbi said that we would succeed in whatever we do.' We were both puzzled, not understanding the blessing's meaning, but it turned out Rabbi David's blessing worked wonders. In a very short time, we found a lovely apartment in Beit Shemesh that perfectly suited our needs. Around the same time, I received the first offer to speak in front of women and inspire them with my personal story. Honestly, it wasn't easy after years of being unable to share, opening up was difficult. But I decided to take it on as a life mission – I built a presentation and performance with songs, made it a very high-level show, and in recent months, managed to appear in over 20 places. Baruch Hashem, I gratefully uplift and inspire, gradually realizing this is my mission.

"Because it's not by chance that Hashem gives us challenges," Tzipi concludes, "He wants us to grow and strengthen through them. Today my baby is a year old; he tries to stand and falls, but I still encourage him to stand because I know it's the only way he'll strengthen his muscles. I was fortunate to visibly see how Hashem built the most accurate track for me. Throughout the struggle and pain, He sent me to Ukraine, away from the Israeli pressure, pitying glances, and comparisons, and when the child was to be born, He simply brought us back to Israel to find our purpose here. All to allow us to grow, get closer to Him, and speak with Him genuinely. May we merit it."

To contact Tzipi: M.gutfarb@gmail.com