Musician Asher Gabay: "I Treat the Injured, Then Make Weddings Dance"

It seems that the phrase "jumps at every wedding" describes Asher Gabay perfectly. As a top-tier keyboardist, he's performed with famous singers such as Lipa Schmeltzer, Avraham Fried, Yaakov Shwekey, Shlomo Cohen, and others. Yet, in the long hours of his day (and night), he volunteers in rescue organizations, meets patients, treats the injured, and currently manages the distribution of 'isolation kits' for those quarantined due to COVID-19.

In addition, Gabay is part of the 'Joy Makers' team - a group of volunteers who visit hospitals, entering the most challenging wards to bring joy to patients through music, singing, and dancing. "Sometimes it's not easy," he says. "I visit patients in very dire conditions, unsure what will happen to them tomorrow, seeing suffering family members, and the hovering concern, and then shortly after, I have to be at a wedding, play with full energy and uplift the guests. It's about overriding emotion with intellect, and it's not simple."

His real challenge, as he mentions, is heading to weddings after dealing with tragic events on the field. "Being called to an event with fatalities, and then moving on to a wedding, it's almost impossible," he admits. "But in a way, it gives me perspective on life. Understanding how quickly life can change or end makes you realize the importance of every moment and breath. You understand where you came from and where you're going. It makes you see that things like career, money, and honor are means to an end, but ultimately, we all end up in the same place. Sometimes, this is what gives you the greatest strength to go and make people joyful, because you understand you need to fulfill your life's purpose, and if it's to bring joy to brides and grooms at this moment, then that's what you need to do perfectly, and with joy."

Weddings of a Different Kind

How is your daily routine these days?

"It's a question better left unasked," Gabay sighs. "Up until a year ago, there was order in my life. I knew when I was going to a wedding and when I was returning, I knew when I could volunteer with United Hatzalah and ZAKA - the two organizations I'm a volunteer of, and I also knew the times dedicated to my family."

Volunteering

According to him, ever since the outbreak of COVID-19, everything has changed. "Events are usually held in the afternoon. My daytime hours are completely disrupted, and there are many events that are either canceled last minute or pop up unexpectedly."

You perform with leading singers. What do you see they are going through these days?

"The situation is far more complex than one can describe, and truthfully, I see the difficulty more in the leading singers. They are the ones who are hurt the most because their costs are high and thus, most people are unwilling to invest such amounts in an orchestra for a wedding expected to have a handful of guests, or unclear where and when it will take place. As a result, major singers have few bookings, and lavish orchestras have almost completely disappeared during the COVID-19 pandemic. On the contrary, those currently working hard are the simplest and cheapest keyboardists, the ones who were rarely called to serious weddings in the past."

Gabay emphasizes that he sees the issue of faith in Hashem vividly here and the understanding that He is the only one who can make such changes. "Suddenly you see the world turning upside down - those who once made huge sums now find the ground slipping under their feet, while those considered minor become in demand. Even when I talk with the singers, I hear from them words of faith. This conversation has become routine these days. When I inquire about their upcoming events for the week, they mostly respond, 'Praying it will be good' and avoid mentioning specific plans, as no one really knows what's ahead. Everyone lives in the moment."

Would you describe the weddings you perform at as joyful weddings?

Gabay pauses for a moment and measures his words. "We need to divide the COVID period into several parts," he finally responds. "In the first few weeks, when there was a major shock, the answer was unequivocally yes. The weddings that were improvised at the last minute, in private homes or yards, were exceptionally joyful. I will never forget a wedding I was invited to on the eve of Passover held in Beitar Illit. I played between the living room and kitchen in an apartment with only the groom and his immediate family, while the groom occasionally went out to the balcony so that all guests divided into capsules in the neighbors' homes could see him. Each time he stepped out, a powerful song erupted from all the balconies; it was truly a powerful event. Even during the summer, there were joyful events. Although only a few dozen guests attended, everyone felt how significant they were to the event and gave their all to the joy of the bride and groom.

With Shlomi Gertner in recordings

"What happened in recent months is that everything changed. Since the police raids on events began, weddings have become a terrible pressure zone. Not only are the relatives stressed, but also the guests who fear fines on one side and infection on the other. We as musicians and singers also fear paying a heavy price. When police representatives arrive, the entire wedding turns into a bad movie, even if it's conducted by all rules. No one wants to take that risk, and everyone scatters in all directions. I have attended more than one wedding that was stopped in the middle, the guests never returned to continue the celebration, and all the food was thrown away. Although the joy still exists in every situation, as a wedding is an exciting and happy event, it's a joy mixed with a lot of fear."

Continuing to Bring Joy

Unlike his musical work, Asher Gabay finds himself these days with his volunteering in various rescue organizations becoming more dominant and needed than ever.

"I continue to be part of the 'Joy Makers' group, and as part of this, I visit patients in various wards," he shares. "On rare occasions, we're also allowed to come and bring joy to the COVID wards. Of course, full protective gear and special permits are needed, but ultimately, when we enter these wards, I realize the immense importance of it and understand how needed it is."

The sights in the COVID wards, he says, are not suitable for the faint-hearted. "Sometimes I come to sing and play, and I find myself helping with other things like handing over a glass of water or calling a family member, or any other assistance the patients request. Because in most hospitals, the wards are completely isolated, and there's hardly any access. Reaching such places is to feel as though you perform good deeds with all your being. I call it 'adding life' literally."

In addition, since the outbreak of COVID, Gabay has been part of an interesting initiative by United Hatzalah called 'Encouragement in Isolation.' "This is an initiative led by Lazer Hyman, the organization's deputy director, and Ariel Ben David, who work tirelessly thinking about how to help and bring joy to the patients and those in isolation. As part of the activity, we send them a respectable kit that includes games, sweets, and other nice things that bring a lot of joy. Sometimes I distribute dozens of such kits a day."

At a wedding with Moshe Klein

How do you manage to combine work and volunteering?

"As I mentioned, my schedule is really very confused. Right now, for example, I'm on my way to an event, and I've just been called to drop by some patients' families to deliver kits, and I'm also called to join the Joy Makers team with an elderly patient. I hope to do it all because I also need to be back for my young children. My wife is working these days, and I find myself also in the role of babysitter, which is another full-time job."

Volunteering in hospitals

Gabay asks to pause our conversation for a moment. Apparently, a groom is waiting for him on the line. It's a young groom, barely 20 years old, planning to marry in two days but still doesn’t know where the event will be held. "I find myself also in the role of a psychologist," Gabay notes after finishing the conversation. "I try to calm and empower the grooms, encouraging them and explaining that eventually, everything will, with God’s help, be okay. We'll do our utmost to make their wedding the happiest it can be."

And what do you say to a groom like the one you just spoke with, who doesn't know where his wedding will be?

"I tell him about many weddings I've attended recently where the decision on the wedding venue was made only in the early afternoon of the event day, yet the joy was great. I ask him to be joyful because he is a groom, not because of a particular hall or the number of guests."

Honestly, do you long for the regular and routine work?

"I don't see it at all from a longing perspective. I view all my work as a mission and believe that Hashem gave me the power and ability to play music to do good deeds with people. Good deeds should be done in times of COVID and routine, in every place and at any time."

And what gives you the strength to continue?

"It's obviously the immense satisfaction. It's like when you play at a wedding; you always strive harder than when you play at home, because you see the audience in front of your eyes. Even when I visit patients, I see the bursting joy, and when I see the energy they receive because of it and realize I succeeded in making people happy, that's the greatest satisfaction one can have."