"I Would Give Anything to Turn Back Time": A Father Reveals His Heart After His Young Daughter Drowns in a Home Pool

After you finish reading this chilling account, you will not be the same person. Something inside you will change, an unknown string within will begin to move, and play in you the melody of life. A life many of us forget to truly live, forget to truly love—just before they turn into something else, something nobody ever dreamed would happen.

These heartrending words were written by a father who lost his young daughter, Hallel Chana, of blessed memory, who drowned in a pool and was pulled out when it was already too late.

The tragedy occurred in a private pool, during the last Shavuot. "Where do you begin? I don’t know," writes the broken father. "I am going through the worst, the greatest fear a man can have has come true for me, for us. Me, my wife, our tender daughters, the extended family. Me, the one who would run out of the room when the nurse vaccinated our daughter just not to see her suffer for a second, we who would call a doctor home for every little thing.

"We who wouldn't let any child go to the playground alone, who every night—long after the girls fell asleep—would check each one to make sure they were breathing and comfortable, and that there was no danger from the blanket or anything else."

When Hallel reached the age to enter a daycare, the father pleaded with his wife that she stay home. "I begged my wife to leave her with me. She is my life, she gives me strength, makes me happy. When the nursery issue came up again this year, I said to Mireav: 'How can I say goodbye for eight hours? I can’t, I’m sorry.' And I am the one who had to pull the child out of the water, and plead..."

"Do Not Waste Time on Fights and Anger, Because Everything Here Is Temporary"

But even there, at the height of breaking and in the height of the incomprehensible disaster—the couple saw how Hashem was helping them get through it. "From the moment the tragedy happened, we were wrapped in endless love, true love, and perfect, unfathomable giving. I don’t dare to start naming names because I myself still don't know everything; thousands of people came through during the month and we were all in awe of this irrational mobilization. Anything I write does not compare to a fraction of the immense power of what happened here. People did everything so that we could focus on our pain, on picking up the pieces, and consoling each other—without worrying about what was around. In this case, thanks is a small word; it goes far beyond that."

The father continues to praise the amazing people he got to know on this journey, "People whom I will never forget in my life, and words cannot contain. We salute you, dear people."

At this point, the father turns to the people of Israel and asks to pass along a small message that is simply huge. "Friends, listen to me and I beg you to internalize: You woke up in the morning and see your partner and your kids around you? Smile the smile of life, look up and say 'Thank you, Father.' If only you truly understood, you would dance with joy. Everything else is nonsense, and you have no idea how everything is just nothing. If I could reach out to touch each of you for a moment just so you could understand the feeling, even for a moment...then maybe you would really understand how lucky you are. Just love each other, spend every second you can together—to love. Everything else is just nothing. Love each other, hug. Don't waste time on fights and anger, everything here is temporary..."

"Rest in Peace, My Beautiful One"

If only it were possible to turn back time... "I would give anything to go back, to smell her for another second, to hug her, to hear her laugh, to see her dance or insist on wearing clothes and shoes bigger than her. During any event, we knew in advance that the stage would come when the photographer would focus on her dancing and surrendering to the music. She loved to rejoice and spread happiness around. Angelic. I never posted pictures of her on Facebook, because I feared the evil eye. I knew she was too special, and any video of her could have gone viral.

And not because she is my daughter.

She was special, an addictive child.

You can’t actually finish such a post. I don’t know if I truly conveyed even a hint of what I wanted, but now there’s no fear for her anymore because she’s in a good place. Next to the Creator of the world.

Our great love...my little Hallel...we will do everything to remember you, be strong for the girls, sanctify life. Rest in peace, my beautiful one...watch over us, my love, and make things easier. We are bursting with longing.

We love you forever.

Psalms for the Elevation of the Soul of Hallel Chana, daughter of Mireav, of blessed memory, may her soul be bound in the bond of life:

Psalm 49:

For the Leader; a Psalm for the sons of Korah. Hear this, all you peoples; Give ear, all you inhabitants of the world, Both low and high, Rich and poor together. My mouth shall speak wisdom, And the meditation of my heart shall be understanding. I will incline my ear to a parable; I will open my dark saying upon the harp. Why should I fear in the days of evil, when the iniquity of my supplanters compasses me about? Even of them that trust in their wealth, and boast themselves in the multitude of their riches; No man can by any means redeem his brother, nor give to Hashem a ransom for him—For too costly is the redemption of their soul, and must be let alone forever—That he should still live always, that he should not see the pit. For he sees that wise men die, the fool and the brutish together perish, and leave their wealth to others. Their inward thought is, that their houses shall continue forever, and their dwelling-places to all generations; they call their lands after their own names. But man abides not in honor; he is like the beasts that perish. This is the way of them that are foolish, and of those who approve their sayings. Selah. Like sheep they are appointed for the nether-world; death shall be their shepherd; and the upright shall have dominion over them in the morning; And their form shall be for the nether-world to wear away, that there be no habitation for it. But Hashem will redeem my soul from the power of the nether-world; for He shall receive me. Selah. Be not thou afraid when one waxes rich, when the wealth of his house is increased; For when he dies he shall carry nothing away; his glory shall not descend after him. Though while he lived he blessed his soul: 'Men will praise thee when thou doest well to thyself.' It shall be gathered to the generation of his fathers; they shall never see the light. Man that is in honor understands not; he is like the beasts that perish.

Psalm 16:

Michtam of David. Keep me, Hashem, for I have taken refuge in You. I have said unto Hashem: 'You are my Hashem; I have no good but in You'; As for the holy ones that are in the earth, they are the excellent in whom is all my delight. Let the idols of them increase that choose another; Their drink-offerings of blood will I not offer, nor take their names upon my lips. Hashem is the portion of mine inheritance and of my cup; You maintain my lot. The lines are fallen unto me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a goodly heritage. I will bless Hashem, who has given me counsel; indeed, in the nights my heart instructs me. I have set Hashem always before me; for He is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices; My flesh also dwells in safety; For You will not abandon my soul to the nether-world; neither will You suffer Your godly one to see the pit. You make known to me the path of life; Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand bliss for evermore.