Accepting the Judgement Welcomed Blessings into My Life

Four years ago, the country was shaken by the story of Drora Attias after her son Naor was tragically murdered during a scuffle among teenagers on Shabbat evening. Naor was only 17 years old when one of the boys, who had harassed a girl, pulled out a knife and stabbed Naor in the heart. Despite her world being shattered, Drora refused to succumb to sadness and live by it. "When people ask me how I can be happy after what happened to me, I say 'those who live in gratitude and recognition of goodness, live happily'", she tells Dina Chalutz from 'La'isha' magazine.

Sometimes, when joy overflows, she even feels she annoys people, but deep inside Attias knows she's passed her test with Hashem. "Today I understand it's a level of faith, and I stood the test. During the shiva, people would say: 'We come to console you, and leave consoled ourselves'."

Throughout the interview, Attias displays unwavering faith in the Creator, a faith that even the hardest trial of losing a child, Heaven forbid, did not break or shake her for a moment. When asked if there was a stage where she was angry at Hashem, Attias resolutely replied: "Absolutely not. There's no such thing as being angry at the Creator. He loves everyone and knows what He's doing. I believe every person comes here to fulfill a mission and then to leave, to correct their traits. I don't know what Naor was in his past life or what he came to correct here, but he completed his correction here. The ways of Hashem are hidden, but I know one thing: I was privileged to give birth to him and raise him, and enjoyed him for 17 years."

According to her, she can't be grateful for the absence of Naor, but "I am grateful that Hashem gave me the strength to cope. I know the blows we receive in this world are for our benefit, and once I understood that and agreed with Hashem, I accepted the judgement. Only when I transformed judgement into kindness did I truly feel empowered."

"Because I accepted the judgement, I invited all the good things that followed"

Less than a year after the tragedy, at age 46, Drora gave birth to a daughter, who came after eight sons. She named her Hallel, to "praise Hashem for His kindnesses because 'Hashem took, and Hashem gave'. After seven sons, I said 'that's it, paradise is promised to me - because it's said that a woman who bears seven sons will go to heaven'. When I became pregnant with our eighth son, Ravid, my husband asked: 'What happened here?' I replied: 'Hashem gave, so no complaining'. I truly believe every child brings their own correction, because what is a baby if not *tikun* (correction in Hebrew letters). When Naor was murdered, I told my sister I needed to speak with Hashem, and I had to complete the family. Three months later, I discovered I was pregnant. That's how it is. After every darkness comes great light."

Even after her family doctor warned her that having children at her age was slightly risky, she didn't waver in her faith. "I told him: 'Everything is from Hashem,'" she smiles. And when she found out it was a girl - "No one was happier than me. Throughout the pregnancy, I dreamed of the name Hallel, and when was she born? The day before Chanukah, when we say Hallel. Can anyone say it's not a miracle?".

Of sweet Hallel, now three years old, Attias says that raising her is as unique and exciting as raising her first child. "It was a kind of remedy after such a difficult trial - the death of a child. Seeing her every morning is like revival for us, and to this day we can hardly believe we have her, that this miracle happened to us."

When asked if Naor's death made her an anxious mother, Attias answers with extraordinary calmness: "Not at all, I place my trust in Hashem. Because I accepted the judgement, I invited all the good things that happened to me afterward. People who resist and wallow in their misfortune, only bad things happen to them, so I let go of that place. I told myself: 'I will prevail', and I am prevailing. I don't let myself fall. I said to the Creator: 'Whatever you decide - I'm with you'. I wake up in the morning and say thank you very much."