The Beginner's Guide: Why is Separation and Distance Between Men and Women So Important?

We all need and desire blessings and divine help. To merit the presence of the Divine Spirit which brings blessings to all areas of our lives, we must know how to achieve it and what might, Heaven forbid, drive it away.

The Torah explains the condition for the presence of the Divine Spirit: "For Hashem your God walks in the midst of your camp, to rescue you and to deliver your enemies before you; therefore, your camp must be holy; let Him not see anything unseemly among you and turn away from you" (Deuteronomy 23:15). The Torah explains when holiness will turn away from you: when there is "unseemliness". The Midrash explains this verse: "immoral acts drive the Divine Spirit away from Israel." This means that a lack of modesty is what drives away the presence of the Divine. When the Divine presence is absent, blessings vanish from our lives and, Heaven forbid, we are exposed to various adversities such as diseases, poverty, wars, accidents, and various sufferings. To merit the presence of the Divine Spirit, blessings, and divine assistance, we need to meet the required condition of modesty.

The Torah teaches that maintaining modesty provides us protection. Balaam the Wicked wanted to curse the people of Israel, but the curses did not affect them because they had a spiritual "Iron Dome" of modesty which protected the people from enemies, sufferings, and various maladies. He knew this principle and thus advised Balak, king of Moab, that if he wanted to harm Israel, he should lead them into immodesty – "Their God hates promiscuity" (Sanhedrin 106b). In this way, the protection would be removed from them, making it easy to harm them. From this we understand that modesty grants protection to those who practice it, and when not observed, we become vulnerable to harm.

The Midrash reveals how beloved modesty is to Hashem, telling us that in the merit of Joseph protecting his mother Rachel's modesty, he was rewarded by Hashem with honor and greatness. During the encounter between Esau and our Patriarch Jacob's family, Joseph the Righteous noticed Esau the Wicked eyeing the women, and so he stood before his mother Rachel to conceal and protect her. For this reason, he merited the birthright and royalty. The Midrash (Genesis Rabbah 90:4) states: "Hashem said: You protected your mother from the eye and elevated yourself, I will reward you and elevate you."

Every small reinforcement and act of modesty earns eternal and immense reward. This is learned from Shem and Japheth, who covered their father and protected his modesty. Japheth merited that his descendants would receive burial during the war of Gog and Magog, while Shem, who endeavored more in safeguarding his father's modesty, merited that his descendants would establish the Israeli nation, an immensely greater reward than Japheth's. This illustrates that every small effort results in a significantly multiplied reward (according to Rashi, Genesis 9:23, based on Midrash Tanchuma).

We are all looking for deliverance in various matters, but before rushing into remedies, seeking blessings from rabbis, or praying at the graves of righteous individuals, we must conduct a self-examination to see if there are vital and significant issues in the eyes of Hashem that we need to correct and improve.

Hashem promises us in the holy Torah, "And they shall make Me a sanctuary, and I shall dwell among them" (Exodus 25:8). If we act in a manner of modesty and holiness, we will merit the presence of the Divine Spirit which brings blessings and success in everything.

The Weekly Challenge

Our sages say, "He who comes to purify is assisted" and "A person sanctifies himself a little, they sanctify him a lot." This means when a person progresses in spirituality, even by a small amount, he is greatly assisted from above. Make your self-examination, and decide on your next step to strengthen the observance of modesty.