"I'm Ready to Marry with a Rabbi, But Without Any Religious Acts. Is this Possible?"

Rabbi Aaron Moss, residing in Sydney, Australia, leads the Nefesh community at Bondi Beach and is well-known for his wit and wisdom among readers of Hidabroot. In his weekly column, Rabbi Moss not only showcases his usual qualities but also raises an important topic close to his heart, especially speaking to us Israelis, who are known for searching for various meditations both at home and abroad.

Question of the week:

I am interested in meditations and signed up for a beginners' course. Their website said the course has no connection to religion and is suitable for anyone of any faith.

Can there be an issue with this from a Jewish perspective?

Answer:

Meditation is a wonderful way to relax and improve mental sharpness and should not be related to any religion. However, it is important to be cautious of some meditation teachers, who claim to be neutral, yet in reality, they practice idolatry.

For example, a meditation course I know of claims not to be affiliated with any religion, but to join, participants are required to offer a gift of fruits or flowers before images of deities or a guru and chant a certain mantra in an ancient Indian language.

If you ask for a translation of the mantra, they won’t provide it, but will assure you that it merely expresses gratitude to past teachers or guides, when in fact, it's a Hindu pagan saying. In other words, the meditation is indeed religion-related.

We live in a free country where anyone can teach their beliefs as they wish, but it's important to be honest about your faith. If you need to "work" on people to follow you, then it's as clear as day that this meditation or method is something to steer clear of.

As a rabbi, I know this from personal experience. Once an avowed atheist approached me with his fiancée and said that he agreed to have a Jewish wedding on the condition that he would not need to perform any religious acts. He would go along with everything but wouldn’t get close to anything that reeks of religion.

At first glance, it seems possible; the groom doesn’t have much to do to get married. He needs to stand where he's told, do what he's told, which pretty much reflects married life.

But there’s a problem. Under the chuppah, the groom needs to speak, and the bride needs to remain quiet, an image that doesn’t accurately reflect married life.

There’s one sentence the groom declares when he gives the ring to his bride: Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring according to the law of Moses and Israel.

According to the law of Moses and Israel means the laws of Hashem, the Torah. This is a religious declaration in every sense. Without this declaration, the marriage is not valid.

I got to know this guy, and he wouldn’t have agreed to say those words, but I could have "worked" on him and made him say them. I could have agreed to his condition that he wouldn’t say or do anything religious. If he had asked about the sentence in Hebrew (since we were dealing with a Jewish Australian guy with weak Hebrew), I could have "changed" and translated it in such a way: "You are my eternal love, and this ring was designed by a famous jeweler named Moshe Israel."

But I didn’t deceive him. I told him that his beliefs were his own business, but for the chuppah to be valid, he had to say words with religious meaning and have the correct intention.

He appreciated my honesty, and we parted ways. He didn’t experience the enriching adventure of a religious ceremony, but at least he didn’t undergo a religion trying to deceive him.

Be wary of who is guiding you in meditation. If they demand that you participate in ceremonies with no clear meaning or to repeat and chant words in a language you don’t understand, know that you are practicing another religion. And if they tell you otherwise, know they are as genuine as the ring designed by Moshe Israel.