The Cheese Sandwich That Changed a Life: Professor Carter’s Story

In 1966, eleven-year-old Stephen Carter and his family moved into a mostly white neighborhood in Washington. On their first morning, Stephen and his siblings sat on the front steps, waiting for a friendly face. But day after day, no one smiled or said hello. Stephen wrote later, “I felt we weren’t welcome. I thought, maybe we shouldn’t have moved here.”

Then one afternoon, a kind woman crossed the street. She looked at the children, beamed a big smile, and said, “Welcome!” A few minutes later, she returned—this time with a tray of cold drinks and cheese-and-jam sandwiches just for them.

“That moment changed my life,” Stephen wrote years later in his book Civility. Suddenly, he felt a comforting sense of belonging he’d never known before.

Today, Stephen Carter is a beloved law professor at Yale University. He remembers the woman’s name—Sara Kestenbaum—and how her act of chesed (kindness) showed him the power one person has to lift another. He notes that Sara was a religious Jew, and in our tradition we learn that each person is made in God’s image, and every kind deed reflects that sacred truth.

Maimonides teaches in his Mishneh Torah that each of us holds the world in our hands: whenever we do a mitzvah (good deed), we tip the scales toward blessing for ourselves and everyone around us. Just one act of kindness can bring deliverance and light.

Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, z”l, summed it up beautifully:

“When you change one life, you begin to change the world. Repairing the world happens one kind act at a time, one soul at a time.”

Sara Kestenbaum never knew how deeply she touched Stephen’s life—but she acted without hesitation. May her example inspire us all: our smallest acts of kindness can echo forever, tipping the balance toward goodness in someone’s life… and in ours.