When I Chose Gratitude, Hashem Opened the Door

There Is No One But Him

I’m writing this letter because I want everyone to know: there is Hashem in the world. We just have to believe, hold on, and keep our faith strong—even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.

Thank you to the amazing Miri for inspiring me to share this. As I write these words, I am the happiest woman in the world. This past Wednesday, after years of waiting and praying, I found out that I’m pregnant—with a healthy pregnancy, baruch Hashem.

The road to this moment was long and painful. So many appointments. So many tests. So many feelings of failure. So many tears. So much heartbreak. And of course, endless prayers. Words can’t begin to describe it.

I know many of you reading this are still waiting—for a child, for a soulmate, for peace of mind, for financial relief. We all have something we’re longing for, and we all want it to come quickly and easily.

For me, the path was gratitude. It wasn’t simple—not at all. How can you thank Hashem for the one thing your heart aches for the most? But I made that choice, and I stuck to it. I thanked Hashem even for the emptiness. Even for not having children. I don’t know exactly how long I’ve been doing this, but I do know that along with the pain came moments of quiet, of faith, of deep inner peace.

Two years ago, we had a miscarriage. It was after a long and difficult round of fertility treatments. It hit us hard—both of us. But my husband stood by me and said just three words that kept me going: “You will have.”

I don’t think he realizes how much I needed those words. They carried me through the darkest moments.

Gratitude isn’t easy—but I believe it’s what opened the gates of blessing for us. That’s what brought this beautiful, long-awaited news: I was remembered. I’m pregnant.

As I write this, my head is full of thoughts about what’s to come. My heart is bursting with emotion. My eyes are full of tears—tears of thanks to the One who never forgot me. He doesn’t forget anyone. Whoever you are, reading this right now—He hasn’t forgotten you either.

Please, hold on. Be patient. Don’t give up. Hashem is real. Even when the answer is no, and even when it’s yes—He is always good. He always knows exactly what we can handle, and what we can’t.

I even thank Hashem for the miscarriage, because somehow, that too was for the best. I don’t know exactly what happened to that soul, but I believe it’s close to Hashem now, being watched over and nurtured by Him.

And now, I thank Him for this new pregnancy. I ask Hashem to protect this baby. To protect our future. To help us make the right choices, to stay healthy, and to carry this child safely into the world—with health, mazal, and bracha, b’siyata d’Shmaya. Amen.

I also want to thank Hidabroot for giving us this special platform—a space where people can share from the heart. I’ve read every letter in this section, and now I’m honored to add my own.

And finally, I thank my husband. For his strength, for his support, for being there through all the silent years. I pray that this time, our time has come. That this is our victory—over all the pain, all the obstacles, and all the waiting.

Amen.