The Mouse at the Wedding: How a Rabbi’s Wisdom Saved the Day

During a wedding celebration, a moment of panic struck the bride. As she and her new husband were in the yichud room, a private room for the couple immediately after the ceremony, a large black mouse scurried by. To the bride, this felt like a terrible omen, a sign that something was wrong with their marriage. She immediately became upset and refused to continue with the wedding celebration, staying locked away in the room.

The news spread quickly, and concerned guests rushed to her side. Family members, friends, and even a psychologist tried to reassure her, but nothing seemed to calm her. The bride was convinced that the mouse was a heavenly sign warning her that she should not marry this man. She couldn’t shake the fear that the marriage would be doomed.

Rabbi Yitzchak Zilberstein recounts this story, shared with him by his father, the Torah scholar Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky, in his book Haggadah of Pesach - Chashukei Chemed. As the bride remained distressed, the Steipler, Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky, was informed of the situation. Though it was uncommon for the Steipler to meet with women, he understood that this was an emergency and agreed to speak with the bride.

The Steipler, known for his deep wisdom, listened carefully to her fears. He kindly acknowledged her feelings, saying, "It’s understandable that you would see a black mouse as an omen of something dreadful. I believe you are right in your concern." His words surprised the bride—she had expected to be told that she was mistaken. Instead, the Steipler validated her worry.

Then, in his gentle yet firm way, he shared the wisdom of the sages of Israel. “Our sages taught that there is no marriage contract (called a ketubah) without some dispute. This is a part of life and marriage,” he explained. “Up until now, your families, both yours and the groom’s, have been peaceful and loving. But Hashem wanted to fulfill the words of the sages, so He sent the mouse to create the 'dispute' that had to happen. From this point on, everything will be fine. Your life together will be filled with peace, joy, and happiness.”

The Steipler’s words had an immediate effect on the bride. The tension melted away, and a smile returned to her face. She finally understood that the mouse was not a sign of bad fortune, but a reminder that life, even in the happiest moments, comes with challenges. And with those challenges come blessings and growth.

Rabbi Zilberstein reflects on the brilliance of the Steipler’s approach. "Everyone who tried to convince the bride that the mouse meant nothing failed, because they contradicted her beliefs. But the Steipler, by agreeing with her concerns, was able to show her a new perspective. He gave her the comfort she needed, and reminded her of the wisdom of our sages, which helped her regain her calm."