I Hated Religion—Until a Stranger Touched My Shoulder

Rabbi Aryeh Shechter shares an amazing story:

"Twenty years ago, something interesting happened to me. I was invited to give a lecture in Ashkelon, filling in for another rabbi who couldn’t make it. When I arrived, a Jewish man approached me. He was wearing a large kippah, had a beard and long peyot (sidelocks), and said to me:

‘Honorable Rabbi, you came straight from Heaven! I’ve been waiting a long time to tell you my story.’

And this is what he told me:

‘My wife became religious. She had gone to several seminars about Judaism. Each time, she tried to get me to come with her, but I resisted with all my strength.

‘The most I ever agreed to was driving her to the seminar, dropping her off, and speeding away like a missile. I had such a deep hatred for religion.

‘One time, when I drove her there, she begged me—really begged me—to just sit through the first lecture. I reluctantly gave in. But the moment the speaker began talking, it was like all my inner defenses came crashing down. All the “antibodies” I had against religion rose up inside me. I couldn’t take it. I stormed out of the room, frustrated and furious.

‘I wandered around outside, filled with anger. Angry at her. Angry at myself for agreeing to go in at all. I felt like I was boiling over.

‘And then... I felt a hand on my shoulder.

‘It was a Jewish man, with a beard—just the kind of person I thought I hated. But he looked at me warmly and said, “I can see you’re going through something. Please—tell me what’s bothering you. If there’s anything I can do, I’d love to help.”

‘Something in me melted. Suddenly, the hatred started to disappear. His kind words, his gentle tone—it touched me. He was speaking to me not as a religious guy trying to convince me of anything, but as a fellow Jew who truly cared.

‘That moment changed everything.

‘I went back into the lecture. One lecture led to another. Slowly, I opened my heart—and eventually, I became what I am today: a Jew who keeps Torah and mitzvot (the commandments).’

That’s how he ended his story.

I looked at him, very moved, and asked, ‘Your story is powerful, and there’s a big lesson in it. But tell me—why did you want to share it with me specifically?’

The man looked me in the eye and said, ‘Honorable Rabbi... the hand that touched my shoulder... it was yours.’

What a kind word can do. What a moment of love for another Jew can create. It can dissolve hatred. It can break through any wall.

As Rabbi Shechter concluded, he added:

‘The Admor (Chassidic Rebbe), author of Ahavat Yisrael of Vizhnitz, was once asked, “What do you do if someone doesn’t like you?” He answered, “I love him, and love him, and love him—until he has no choice but to love me back.”’