Rabbi Steinman Reveals: The Real Secret to Greatness in Torah

One day, Maran Rabbi Aharon Yehuda Leib Steinman surprised one of his students by asking, “Do you know how the great Torah sages of our past reached such heights?” His answer was unexpected and deeply moving: “They merited it through their extraordinary respect for their parents.”

He explained further. “Take Rabbi Chaim of Brisk, for example. His honor for his father, the Beit HaLevi, was beyond description. He literally trembled before him. And the Chazon Ish? He and his family had an incredible way of honoring their parents. He wouldn’t even call someone by his father’s name, Shmaryahu Yosef, out of respect. That’s how careful he was.”

Rabbi Steinman also shared a touching story he heard from his mother-in-law, the righteous Mrs. Sarah Kornfeld. She recalled that in her childhood home, preparing her father’s bed was considered such an honor that it became a reward. If one of the children behaved well, they were allowed to prepare the bed. If someone misbehaved, they lost that privilege. That’s how deeply the mitzvah of kibbud av (honoring one's father) was valued in their home.

The story goes even further. Once, a child approached the Chazon Ish and asked him, “How can someone merit to grow in Torah?” The Chazon Ish answered simply: “Through the mitzvah of honoring parents.” When someone later told Rabbi Steinman this story and expressed surprise, after all, wasn’t it the Chazon Ish’s tireless Torah study that made him great? Rabbi Steinman answered, “Of course his greatness came through his effort. But to succeed in Torah, you need merit. And that merit came through his honoring of his parents.”

In other words, the deep love and respect these Torah giants had for their parents gave them the strength, clarity, and blessing to succeed in their spiritual lives. It wasn’t just the hard work, they had the help of Heaven, earned through this precious mitzvah.

Rabbi Zamir Cohen has also taught about this path. For many people who are becoming more religious, especially baalei teshuva (Jews returning to Torah life), honoring parents can sometimes bring challenges. But it is a mitzvah that brings incredible blessing, and Rabbi Cohen offers guidance on how to uphold it with both love and halachic integrity.

Even when it's difficult and even when your parents do not live according to Torah, Judaism teaches that finding ways to honor them brings down great light. As Rabbi Steinman and the sages of past generations remind us, sometimes it’s the simple acts of love and respect that open the doors to the highest levels of Torah and spiritual success.

Let us all strengthen ourselves in this mitzvah, and through it, bring more peace and blessing into our homes and our lives.