A Tearful Goodbye: The Strength of a Jewish Teacher Remembered

"I wish I had only good news to share," writes Toby Baron in her weekly column in the 'Katifa' newspaper from Yated Ne’eman. "But the keyboard trembles beneath my fingers and my eyes are raw from crying." This week, the community lost two precious women, both mothers and teachers in Israel: Mrs. Ponfeder and Mrs. Stern. "May they be a source of merit for their families and for the entire Jewish people."

Toby describes how she met Mrs. Pnina Stern several years ago. Pnina was not just an educator at the seminary in Ashdod. She was the heart and soul of the place. She organized programs, uplifted students, and welcomed everyone with her warm smile and huge heart.

About a month before her passing, the seminary held a special event in a large hall, where hundreds of current and former students came together to pray for her recovery before surgery to remove a tumor. "I stood on stage," Toby recalls, "and cried out: ‘Master of the Universe, we’ll show You we know how to strengthen ourselves from simchah. Each girl here will take something on, and write it on a note for Pnina’s healing.’"

And they did. Girls threw away short skirts, wrote heartfelt notes full of emotion, and committed to real change. Though Pnina passed away, no one believes those commitments were in vain. Still, the pain was overwhelming. Girls called Toby crying. "We didn’t even give her the notes yet. Maybe we should place them on her grave?"

The heartbreaking news reached Toby one morning on her way to give a lecture at the seminary. "By Hashem’s kindness, I found a shul with an open ezrat nashim (women’s section). I let my heart pour out. ‘Pnina, you know how much we tried. You know me. You always told me you loved the joy and humor that helped strengthen your avodat Hashem (service of God). Please, Hashem, speak to me... I need strength. I’m broken, and tonight I have to give a performance in front of hundreds of women. How can I stand there when my heart is shattered?’"

But then, in the middle of the pain, came a glimmer of hope.

Minutes later, Toby’s daughter called: "Mom, someone left you a message." It was from the head of a school in Tiberias, announcing joyfully: "Baruch Hashem, it’s final. The MRI for the kindergarten teacher Noa came back clean. The tumor was completely removed. No chemo. No radiation. We’re planning a seudat hoda’ah (a special meal held to thank Hashem). Are you ready?"

Then Toby’s sister called: "Maran HaRav Steinman is home."

Toby didn’t cancel her performance. Despite the freezing weather and a public transportation strike, she went. "Who would come out on a night like that?" she wondered. But in her heart, she thought, Pnina’s neshamah (soul) would surely come. And she did. Along with a few hundred other women. Righteous women.

When the lecture ended, at least twenty women waited beneath the stage. One of them said, "I walked from Ramot in the cold. We had a night of tefillot (prayers) for my brother’s healing. I came to share the news. We’re seeing miracles." Another woman shared that after receiving a brachah (blessing) for her son’s shidduch (match) at a previous event, he’s now married. A third said, "Do you remember that I bought the zechut (merit) of the birkat ha’ilanot (blessing over fruit trees) for my sister? After 33 years, she gave birth to twins."

Toby felt that Hashem was sending her signs, comforting her broken heart and whispering: "You don’t understand, but don’t give up. Keep going. I am with you." She writes, "I felt that Hashem was gently encouraging us: Accept My decree. Trust Me. Like the Asarah Harugei Malchut (Ten Martyrs), some things you will never understand but don’t let go of Me. Keep believing. Keep growing."

Toby ends with tears and hope. "I have no doubt that Pnina Stern is now a social coordinator in Heaven too. And next to her, Mrs. Bruria Ponfeder. The Gemara teaches that because the exile has been so long, Mashiach will come and the dead will immediately rise. So we’ve already sent our holy representatives ahead."