Dreams and Determination: Carmit's Journey of Faith

When Carmit Eliyahu was 12 years old, she decided to observe Shabbat fully. For her parents, it was a very puzzling decision as they had a secular household and had raised their children accordingly. But Carmit, who had casually heard about the idea of Shabbat observance from a friend, decided she wanted to taste it and try — and she never stopped.

So what do you do on long Shabbat afternoons when you’re the only one in the family who keeps Shabbat, with no option of going out or traveling with friends? Carmit explains that she would regularly go with her friend to visit the friend’s grandfather who was a righteous and precious man. “Through the grandfather we learned so much about Judaism, about observing mitzvot, about the holidays, about what God asks of us,” she says. “Thanks to him, my knowledge expanded and deepened. That’s how I found myself, as a young girl with no religious background, taking my first steps in the world of teshuvah, realizing that this was my place and that this is where I wanted to stay.”

A Revelation in a Dream

A few years later, the friend’s grandfather passed away, and their visits came to an end. “I remember how painful and sad that was for us,” Carmit recalls. “Our Shabbatot started to feel different too. After being used to visiting him every Shabbat, it felt strange not to see him anymore. But one day he appeared to me in a dream — I simply saw him.”

Did you speak? What did he say in the dream?

“I don’t remember the entire dream, but later I was told that such an appearance symbolizes something good. At the end of the dream, the grandfather told me he wanted to show me something that would make me happy, and he brought me to see my uncle, who had also passed away around that time. When I woke up in the morning, the first thing I did was call my friend, and we both decided to go to the cemetery to thank the grandfather.”

Looking back, Carmit admits it’s strange that two young teenage girls wandered among gravestones — but at the time, it felt completely natural. “We brought water and a book of Psalms and searched for the grave. Of course, we couldn’t find it and were almost ready to give up. Then suddenly we felt a cool, gentle breeze. We decided to follow it, and it literally led us to the grandfather’s grave. It wasn’t imagination — both of us felt how God was guiding us there.”

This wasn’t the only time Carmit experienced things that seemed beyond the laws of nature. “God sent me illuminations along the way — so many small, strengthening moments,” she says emotionally. “For example, my father once bought tickets for the entire family to the Festigal show. Since it took place on Shabbat, I obviously refused to go. In the end, a friend of my father heard there was a performance on Saturday night and got me a ticket. I went to the show, and afterward there was a raffle — and to my surprise, I won a bicycle. I remember coming home and excitedly lecturing my family that ‘more than I do for Shabbat, Shabbat does for me.’ I truly believed it.”

“A Slap That Felt Like a Kiss”

The next stage in Carmit’s spiritual growth came after her wedding.
“I always wanted to dress modestly, but I was embarrassed,” she says. “After the wedding, I started working in a religious kindergarten, and they asked me to wear skirts and long clothing. At first I would change at noon, until I realized this was exactly the opportunity to start dressing modestly all the time, the way I really wanted. I changed my wardrobe and even threw out clothes that weren’t modest. But there was one thing I couldn’t get used to — covering my hair. That still felt very far from me and extremely difficult. I just couldn’t do it.”

Meanwhile, she had two children, and daily life became intense and demanding — working at the kindergarten in the mornings, then caring for the home and children in the afternoons and evenings.
“I worked very hard,” she explains, “and that’s probably why one day I started feeling strange sensations, like tingling in my legs. I was only 27, a young woman, and it never crossed my mind that these could be symptoms of something serious. I went for tests, but everything came back normal. The doctors said there was nothing to do, so I went on with my life.”

A year later, another attack came which was impossible to ignore.
“It happened exactly when I came to feed the baby,” Carmit describes. “Suddenly I couldn’t move my head, my legs, or my arms. I felt dizzy and nauseous. It was terrifying. This time I told my husband I wasn’t going to a clinic, but straight to the emergency room. The great surprise was that after extensive tests, the doctors said: ‘You have nothing.’ They even added: ‘It’s probably psychological.’”

She couldn’t understand how someone in such pain could be told it was “psychological,” but she had no choice. “After that, I went to the hospital seven more times. Sometimes I was hospitalized for periods and treated with steroids to ease the pain and symptoms, but they always emphasized: ‘The tests are normal — there’s nothing.’”

The seventh time, on the way to the ER, Carmit spoke to God.
“I begged Him to let them find what was wrong with me, and I felt I needed to take something significant upon myself. I knew exactly what it was, and I promised that from that day on, without a vow, I would be meticulous about fully covering my hair. It wasn’t an easy decision. For years I had known I needed to take this step, but couldn’t. This time I knew I needed something big — and I made the decision.”

She becomes emotional as she continues: “Already when I arrived at the hospital, I knew my prayers had been accepted, because the doctor spoke differently from the very first moment. She was the first to send me for an MRI, suspecting inflammation in the brain, spine, or neck. I was hospitalized while waiting for the results, and in the meantime I was careful with head covering and tried to bring joy to the people in the ward, understanding that if God had brought me there, He surely expected me to fulfill a purpose there.

“It was Chanukah. I remember buying doughnuts, walking through the ward, and handing them out. Then one day several doctors came into my room and said: ‘We know what you have — it’s multiple sclerosis.’ I didn’t know whether to cry over the serious illness or to thank God that I finally had a diagnosis I’d been waiting for. When I left the room, I met a woman whose mother was hospitalized there. When I told her the diagnosis, she said: ‘Multiple sclerosis? You’re so lucky,’ and explained that for a long time they had hoped her mother’s symptoms were MS, but in the end it turned out to be a terminal illness. ‘You’re fortunate that it’s only MS,’ she said — and I felt as though I’d received a slap that felt like a kiss.”

Choosing Gratitude

Three years have passed since the diagnosis. Thanks to the medication she takes, Carmit is, thank God, stable, and outwardly it’s hard to tell she’s coping with such a serious illness. “I can’t go out to work, and sometimes I need help with household tasks, but thank God — it doesn’t show, and outwardly I function quite normally,” she shares. “I choose to look at my challenge through the lens of faith, to strengthen myself and thank God for every gift He’s given me, because nothing is taken for granted.”

Isn’t it hard to think that after such major spiritual growth, you were struck by a serious illness?

“Not at all. I thank God every single day, because it’s clear to me that nothing is obvious or guaranteed. I’ve received so many gifts from Heaven — how could I complain? Even MS could have worsened, and meanwhile God is watching over me. I just thank Him every day.”

Are you afraid?

“If you’re asking whether I’m afraid the illness will worsen — no, I don’t think about that for a moment,” Carmit answers candidly. “As someone who was hospitalized for a long time and saw so many people whose lives were suddenly halted by strokes or illnesses, I know that God alone runs the world. All that’s required of us is to believe in Him and trust Him. That’s the only thing I focus on today — and may I merit to continue doing so.”