Understanding My Child's Journey with ADHD

Yael, a mother of a 10-year-old boy dealing with ADHD, shares an emotional post about her son's challenges with behaviors that society often frowns upon. Her hope is that through sharing this, people will become more understanding and less judgmental, fostering a newfound tolerance for those who are different. "My child may only be 10, but he's already carrying a heavy burden. The burden of ADHD for those who wonder...or in other words, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder."

"He wanted to share this post, so that those around him may better understand what he is going through."

"People often say they suffer from ADHD, but I want to clarify that we all suffer from his ADHD. So what does a day with a child with ADHD look like? In the morning, he struggles to get up, struggles to dress, struggles to brush his teeth, struggles to get ready..."

"And in between..."

"He bothers his siblings, shouts and sings loudly, takes the phone to play, talks non-stop in a loud voice, goes back to bothering his siblings, asks for help to get dressed, and more. And I, caught in the middle, must separate him from his siblings, assist with getting ready, make sandwiches for school, and try to prepare myself for the workday."

"Then he goes to school. There are kids there, lots of kids. Most are really sweet, and some are less so. Much less. And there are parents who are mostly judgmental, clicking their tongues, wondering how it's possible that a child behaves this way. How do his parents let him behave like this?"

"Well, his parents don't allow it. But his parents can't be with him and next to him all the time, and it's not always easy for him. Not with himself, and not with his surroundings. The environment doesn't always recognize what ADHD is, nor realize that sometimes it's uncontrollable."

Yael lists off occurrences under this lack of control: a juicy curse when he reaches his limit, which he didn't mean to say; a hand slapping a friend's cheek—who is really a good friend; and sometimes he's rude to a teacher he loves very much. "And he knows it's not okay. That he's not okay. And again, we talk to him, remind him how to behave, adjust his medication dosage, send him to emotional therapy, attend parent guidance sessions, and get advice."

"It's been like this for years."

"And at night, when he struggles to fall asleep and turns over and over in his bed, he calls to me and asks with half-closed eyes: ‘Mom, how was I today? Did I behave well?’ And I, his mother, look at him, hold back my tears and say: ‘You had a good day today, and you'll have a good day tomorrow too.’ And he manages to sneak in another look and says: ‘Mom, I promise you that tomorrow I'll get better. I promise to behave better tomorrow.’ And both he and I know it's a promise he may struggle to keep."

"Because ADHD will pop up again sooner or later, bringing with it the curse, the insult, the spit, the hit, or the scream. But you know what? My child has the biggest heart I know. My child will always offer to carry my bag or the grocery bags from the store. My child will tell me 20 times a day that he loves me. And my child will offer half of his sandwich to his sibling and ask 'Are you okay?' when they get hurt or cry. My child has the kindest eyes I've ever seen—there's not a drop of malice in him. And my child is funny, creative, and friendly, and I adore him. I want to protect him with my body from the world, from everyone. From the clicks and judgmental glances, from those who see him as a 'monster.' Remember, he asked to publish this post, so that those around him might understand him a little better."