How Living by Your Values Can Help Reduce Anxiety and Find Meaning During Difficult Times

I’m sitting down to write after a heartfelt conversation with a dear friend who is going through a tough time- a painful combination of physical illness and intense anxiety. He had been making good progress through a difficult process, but recently suffered a physical setback that brought the anxiety back with full force.

As much as I want to help him, I’m reminded of something essential: my place is not his place. I’m not in his shoes. And from that space of humility, I speak- with his permission- about something meaningful that emerged from our conversation.

We Often Miss Something Critical

Most of us are unaware of something deeply important. We may have values such as love, spirituality, and compassion, but we don’t always realize just how vital it is for our mental and emotional well-being to live by those values. To act in line with what matters most, even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.

We’ve been conditioned to believe that emotions are the compass.
“If it feels good, do it. If it doesn’t, don’t.” Living that way doesn't lead to happiness, but to stagnation, dissatisfaction, and often anxiety, depression, OCD, and more.

The Real Challenge: Acting from Values, Not Feelings

The great challenge during emotional distress is to take action based on your values, even if your feelings are screaming the opposite.

“I’m irritable right now- I don’t feel like smiling at my spouse or kids.”
Sounds reasonable, right? If actions are based on emotions- it makes sense. Is it effective? Absolutely not.

Forget about logic for a second. What about meaning? What about the sense that your life has purpose?

If you only smile at your children or show love to your partner when it feels good, you may never reach that deeper sense of fulfillment and joy you long for. When you choose to act with love even when you’re struggling, that’s when something powerful happens.

What Does This Have to Do with Anxiety?

Everything. When someone lives a life of deeper meaning- when they act in alignment with their values, regardless of how they feel- that meaning brings a quiet joy that shrinks fear.

When a person feels satisfied, whole, and grounded in purpose, the hold that anxiety has over them begins to loosen. In many cases, the anxiety itself starts to fade.

Is it easy? Not at all. But it’s possible. It starts now, with small, intentional actions. Take a breath, and begin.

Every step you take in the direction of your values, brings you closer to a life of courage, clarity, and inner peace.