Daily Stress Relief: A 3-Step Breathing Technique to Calm Your Mind and Body

Our lives are full of stress related to school, work, traffic jams, or the never-ending to-do list and we eventually reach a breaking point where tension builds up. Releasing that tension can be expressed in many ways such as crying, physical shaking, yelling at family members, and even panic attacks. To manage pressure effectively, this article introduces a practical tool for immediate stress relief.

The Power of Consistency

In this week's Torah portion, Tetzaveh, G-d commands the daily offering known as the Korban Tamid: “This is what you shall offer on the altar: two year-old lambs, regularly every day. One lamb you shall offer in the morning and the second lamb you shall offer at twilight.” (Exodus 29:38–39)

Our sages explain that the special value of this offering is related to its consistency- it was offered every single day, without exception, even on Shabbat. In fact, it was regarded as more important than additional offerings brought on special days like Rosh Chodesh or holidays.

From this we learn the great power of persistence. Changing habits is hard, and if we want to acquire a new skill, we need to practice it consistently over time. Even with strong willpower, it's difficult to change patterns during moments of stress- whether it’s a tough phone call, a work presentation, driving in heavy traffic, or any triggering life event. As the saying goes in the army: "Hard in training, easy in battle." If we practice something enough, it becomes second nature and an automatic response we can rely on in tough moments.

Inspired by the Korban Tamid, which was offered twice daily, it's recommended to practice this stress-relief tool at least twice a day- once in the morning and once in the evening or night. Choose calm times such as during a quiet commute, before bed, or whenever works best. Find at least two consistent practice windows per day so that when you do face real tension, you’ll already have the skill ready to implement.

The Stress-Relief Technique: A 3-Step Method

This tool is based on Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), which itself is rooted in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT asserts that healing must address both the cognitive level (thoughts and emotions) and the behavioral level (physical sensations and actions).

This technique combines physical relaxation (behavioral) with emotional calming (cognitive) and includes three levels performed simultaneously:

Level 1: Breathing
Level 2: Muscle tension and release
Level 3: A calming mantra

Level 1: Breathing

Breathe in at a regular pace. Then, breathe out twice as slowly as you inhaled. For example, if you inhale for a count of 2 seconds, exhale slowly over a count of 4 seconds. This slow exhalation triggers a calming physical response in your body’s systems.

Level 2: Muscle Tension and Release

While breathing in (at your normal pace), clench your hands into fists. While breathing out (at the slower pace), release the fists and open your hands. The act of clenching and releasing creates a physiological shift that helps release tension.

Level 3: Calming Mantra

Words have power. Say calming or empowering words to yourself such as:

• “Calm”

• “Peace”

• “I can do this”

• “I am strong”

• “The power is within me”

• “I choose how to live my life”

Choose a word or phrase that resonates with you personally. Say it during your exhale and as you open your hands.

With regular practice, this tool can become your go-to method for navigating life’s daily stressors with resilience and inner peace.

Shira Polon, M.A. is a specialist in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)