Living with Chronic Pain: Emotional Impact, Mental Challenges, and the Path to Resilience

Many people experience chronic pain at some point in their lives.
There can be many causes including illness, inflammation, injury, or other medical condition. However, in some cases, there is no clear explanation, even though the pain is very real and persistent.

In many situations, medicine has no definitive treatment to fully relieve the pain, which means that the person has no choice but to learn how to live with it. The pain may come and go in intensity, but can last for months, years, or even a lifetime.

While chronic pain causes physical suffering, it often has far-reaching emotional and psychological consequences as well. It can interfere significantly with daily functioning and lead to a wide range of secondary challenges, which we’ll explore in this article.

The Emotional Toll of Chronic Pain

People with chronic pain often experience depression, stress, irritability, and low mood. These emotional responses stem not only from the physical discomfort, but also from the sense of helplessness and the limitations it imposes.

For instance, chronic pain can make it difficult to maintain regular physical activity. When the body hurts, even movement becomes uncomfortablem and inactivity can intensify feelings of depression and emotional stagnation.

In relationships, particularly between spouses, we often see the emotional strain on both partners. The person in pain struggles with their own challenges, but the healthy partner also suffers, from frustration, helplessness, and the emotional load of constant caregiving and worry.

Those suffering from depression often find it difficult to function, which adds to the physical limitations of the pain. It becomes hard to get out of bed, go to work, or maintain meaningful connections with loved ones. Even things that once brought joy may no longer provide relief or pleasure.

Worse still, a low mood can actually amplify the pain itself, creating a vicious cycle. Negative thoughts increase the focus on suffering, reduce hope, and often leave the person feeling isolated and emotionally shut down.

When Pain Takes Over

One of the most difficult aspects of chronic pain is the constant mental focus on it. Pain becomes the central theme of the person’s life. They spend time searching for cures or ways to reduce the pain, obsessing over their suffering, and feeling deep frustration when they realize that there is no magic fix.

Eventually, many people begin asking deeper, more existential questions such as “Why is this happening to me?”, “What did I do to deserve this?”, “Why do bad things happen to good people?”

These thoughts are deeply human, although often not helpful. They can drain the little energy the person has left, adding spiritual and emotional fatigue to the physical suffering.

For people of faith, it’s natural to reflect and examine one's life during times of hardship. And yet, even spiritual reflection should be done intentionally and at appropriate times. If it becomes a constant emotional reaction, without structure, guidance, or a true desire to grow, it can lead to more despair and guilt, rather than healing or growth.

If self-reflection leads to progress, hope, or joy- it’s probably healthy. However, if it only deepens sadness and hopelessness, this indicates that it is doing more harm than good. (See also Tanya, chapter 26, and Rav Isaac Sher’s Collected Discourses, vol. 1.)

The Trap of Negative Thought Loops

Obsessive thinking doesn’t only worsen the pain, but it can take over the person’s world to the extent that they lose interest in work, hobbies, and even meaningful relationships. Their emotional bandwidth is consumed by thoughts of pain, limitation, and helplessness.

When it becomes harder to communicate with family and friends, and daily life feels smaller, darker, and more confined, it's time to make some meaningful changes.