The Tree of Life: Why Investing in Yourself is the Key to Family Happiness

It's another morning, and you wake up at 6:00 to the sound of birds chirping, you say "Modeh Ani," and eagerly jump out of bed ready to take on the day. Sounds great, right? But let's be real—some days that's just not how it goes. Sometimes you lack the energy or desire to get out of bed. You may be tired and unmotivated, even though things may be fine. Maybe you even feel a bit guilty and find yourself thinking, "Everything is good, so why am I like this?".

Before you sink into self-pity or unnecessary guilt, let's explore why this happens (it’s normal, you’re not alone), and how you can easily bring joy back into your life.

As women who keep Torah and mitzvot, our ultimate goal in life is to serve Hashem, raise children as G-d-fearing Jews, contribute to the repair of the world through personal growth, and ultimately hasten redemption. It’s an incredible mission but also a very big goal. It's empowering when you're connected and happy, but overwhelming and daunting when you're feeling down. How can you reconnect with your ultimate purpose and regain motivation and enthusiasm?

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1. Nourish the Roots

A woman, by nature, brings life into the world- she nourishes, nurtures, and cares, and is a partner with Hashem in creation. If we liken the home to a tree with roots, trunk, branches, and fruit, the woman is undoubtedly the roots. It's no coincidence that when mom is happy, the whole family is happy. The woman is the nourishing roots of the home, and when she's not happy or motivated, the entire home feels it. Therefore, the first thing to do to regain motivation is to nourish the roots- to nourish yourself by drinking from the waters of life.

When was the last time you attended an uplifting Torah class? Attended a women's retreat? Or even simply had coffee with a good friend? If the answer is "a long time ago," pause everything, grab your calendar, and schedule an enjoyable activity to rejuvenate your soul. It doesn’t have to be something big- the main thing is to listen to yourself and choose something that genuinely brings you joy.

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2. Write Thank You Notes

If you haven't started a gratitude journal, you're missing a fantastic and fun tool for achieving life goals. As Jews, expressing gratitude is a cornerstone in every prayer, blessing, and mitzvah, from "Modeh Ani" the moment we wake, to the Shema before bed. What would happen if we take gratitude a step further and write down five things we're thankful for every day? After a month, we'll realize how much abundance we have in our lives, and our energy levels will naturally increase.

3. Focus on Small Goals

We have an important goal as observant Jews, but it’s crucial to identify smaller daily goals. Ultimately, all goals align with the larger purpose, but reaching that requires small steps and milestones. Connecting with your "small" goal, gives you a reason to get out of bed happily.

To discover this goal, think about what excites you right now. Finding a new home? Getting a driver's license? Cooking healthy meals for your children? Exercising twice a week? Once you find what excites you the most at the moment, try to understand why you want it. How will you feel when you achieve your goal? Happy? Fulfilled? Write it all down.

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4. Plan Ahead

Once you find the goal that excites you, break it down into smaller tasks and logical steps to achieve it. Write out a clear daily schedule, including these steps, and incorporate it into your routine tasks such as when you work, cook, care for the children, and whenever you can to regain strength and joy: schedule time in your calendar for yourself to invest in the roots of the tree.

An organized day will provide you with a sense of fulfillment and balance, naturally leading to joy. As a result of finding your goal and planning ahead, you'll also experience satisfaction from regular daily activities.

5. Talk About It

Don’t forget to share your feelings, goals, and everything you're going through with a good friend. This conversation can naturally boost your mood.

A happy and fulfilled mother nourishes her family with the emotions she experiences, and fulfills her mission in the world in the best way possible. Investing in yourself is the best gift you can provide for your home and in your service to Hashem as a Jewish woman. It’s worth a try!