A Journey Beyond: Dvir's Near-Death Experience

The accident happened in 1970 when I crossed between two cars without looking right or left, on Valentin Street near the stairs descending from Herzliya Street, in Hadar (Haifa).

I live in Kiryat Ata.

I still remember the shock on the driver's face when he realized he couldn't stop his vehicle in time to prevent the impact.

For a split second, we made eye contact, and then I heard a crash, and my pelvis shattered into my body. I was folded in two and thrown into the windshield. I managed to see the driver and the woman next to him looking at me in shock, and I landed hard on the left side of my head. To this day, I have a scar where my skull bone was crushed inward.

I didn't feel any pain, neither in my head nor in my pelvis, as if it wasn't my body at all, and I felt like a stranger to myself, even though I knew it was me. I remember watching myself lying motionless as if I were floating above myself. The couple got out of the car, and both dragged me to the back seat. The woman got in first and tried to stop the bleeding from my head, and the man folded my legs, got into the car, and drove.

After a while, I felt uncomfortable with my situation, and the place felt small and awkward due to the position, and the part of me still inside the body left and merged with the other part of me hovering above within the car.

I looked at my body and the woman and saw I was covered in blood as were her clothes, and she was crying and yelling at the driver to go faster, and he replied that the road was congested and that he was turning on the lights and honking non-stop.

I recall a thought crossing my mind that I decided to leave the car to help them move faster. I actually floated ahead of them, and for the first time, I saw the damage my pelvis caused to the left headlight, which was completely smashed, and the metal there was bent inward into the left wheel.

Eventually, we reached Rambam Hospital at a slow pace due to the heavy road congestion. I must mention that on the day of the accident, there was a nurse strike, so after the driver dashed into the emergency room to call for help, two men, probably volunteers who didn’t quite know how to handle the situation, dragged me by their hands while my legs trailed behind towards a man who ran to them with a gurney.

Until that time, I floated all the while above myself as if still somehow connected to the body, watching their actions and my body.

I felt no pain or sorrow. It was as if this was someone else's body entirely, and aside from knowing it was me, I felt a stranger to myself but for some reason, I couldn’t leave.

A sense of shame began to overcome me from their treatment of my body and the disrespect shown towards it, as I knew they should have carried me rather than drag me, and only the fact that I was dirty with blood disgusted them, and I understood there was nothing left for me here, and the moment the thought crossed my mind... everything disappeared.

There was no Rambam Hospital, no weeping woman walking beside me, no gurney - nothing... just me and a dark empty space. It was cold and frightening, I didn’t know where I was, and the darkness was so thick I thought I could put my fingers in my eyes and still not see them.

The cold was horrifying and threatening, and I was so frightened that I started screaming in panic.

I can’t convey in writing the sense of horror and the abyssal fear I was in. I was lonely, terrified, and frozen.

I want you to understand, I didn’t know I was dead. I didn’t know where I was, and I didn’t understand what happened to me, I simply didn’t comprehend, and I was paralyzed with fear.

When someone is sick, they have time to adjust and understand that they might be nearing the end of their life; a soldier in combat activities is aware of the risks and the possibility of getting hurt and killed, but a car accident is always unexpected and happens in a split second, and realizing you are dead isn’t necessarily grasped.

And at that point in time and place, it seemed natural to me that I was there, just that I didn’t know where I was, and not who I was, and the fear and panic were real and tangible.

And when I felt I couldn’t bear it any longer, I saw a distant yellow beam of light coming towards me at a speed beyond imagination and I was drawn into it.

And then I knew in that millisecond when I saw the beam of light moving toward me, that it came to protect and guard me from the cold and fear and terror, and I knew another thing...

That all the evil and wickedness in the darkness surrounding me couldn’t harm me anymore.

I was protected.

The darkness and cold were still there, and I could see them clearly through the bubble that gathered me, they had form, even the fear I saw and the evil, so real and threatening, but I was not afraid anymore. I was sure, I was protected in the yellow bubble that carried me, and I felt in it the love.

So much love.

If we gathered all the true love in the world into one point, its intensity would still not even begin to approach the intensity of the love I felt in the bubble.

It wasn’t just love... I was love, and love was me, and we were one.

It’s hard to explain in words, maybe there aren’t words available to describe the intensity and tenderness and warmth and innocence. It was love in its purest and most unblemished form, and I merged into it as one.

From afar I saw a shining yellow light, stable and fixed, filling the entire universe, and I knew that was my destination and I was being carried to it.

The light truly called to me, and I wanted so much to be inside it because I knew that was my place, that's where I would want to be, my place.

The intensity of the light grew stronger, and now it shone with a force that could blind and burn anything, but I wasn’t blinded even though I looked directly at it, and I wasn’t afraid, because the light and the brightness were like my second self, drawing me to it, and I felt so protected and loved and wanted... and every imaginable good flowed from it to me and washed over me, and the feeling was of transcendence and fulfillment given without questions, without limitations, and without conditions.

You can't convey the feeling of the color and the feeling of the sound that are part of you, how can you explain that sounds have flavors and colors. And colors have sounds with tastes that words have no ability to touch. How can you explain a love whose spirituality has form.

You need to feel it, to understand... and at that moment I merged with warmth and love and purity - and they were me.

I arrived and was within the radiant light whose dimensions were exactly in my measure, and yet it was a whole universe and I floated upwards in the tunnel of light, surrounded by its love.

I repeat and emphasize love because only someone who has felt it even for a split second understands what true love is.

Unasking love, unquestioning love, undemanding love, unconditional love that only gives love from love. It was the ultimate and infinite love of acceptance and giving.

And so, while floating towards an unknown destination, I looked around me and at my own reflection and saw that I was, in fact, merged with the light surrounding me, and although I could see my uniqueness, we had become one. It was like looking at myself - through me.

Imagine, if you will, a polished glass cloak, pure and clear, that you can hardly see (sometimes my wife cleans the glass windows at home so that I think the window is open and I stick my head into it, so clear it is), and that was my soul.

I was so clear and pure, the brightness glowed from and to me, and for the first time, I felt that my self... was completed.

I continued floating this way, and suddenly I stopped and stood before a bright light barrier that called to me, and I knew I had to cross it but didn’t know how. I wanted so much to cross, but I couldn’t.

I saw figures within the barrier, and they called to me. I didn’t recognize them, but I knew I knew them and I truly felt the love flowing from them to me, but I couldn’t move from my place. I asked them to come and take me, but immediately I realized that just as I couldn’t pass to them, they couldn’t cross to me, and whoever crosses, will never return.

Suddenly the barrier disappeared, and next to me stood three figures, and they asked me to accompany them, and at that moment I was in a place I can only describe as the purity and radiance of the Divine Presence in its manifestation, and all were in shades of white, transparent and clear.

It’s hard to describe the place; it wasn’t a hall, and although I saw its edges, its size was the measure of the entire dimension, and it was so clear that I saw it and through it to its end, although its end was the infinity. There were figures so pure in their clarity that I saw through them, yet I saw them clearly and all the shades of clarity that made up each figure.

There were trees and bushes and mountains whose infinite clarity and purity were sharp and clear down to the smallest detail. Around were tables, and sitting there were figures as transparent as crystal, merging into a single unit of purity, which were clearer and sharper than any figure that can be described.

It was the most transparent, the clearest, and the sharpest world I have ever seen. I saw them and through them and the beautiful landscape, and every detail in it pure and clear, and I was like them pure and clear. I was they, and they were me. I merged with them, and they united with me.

From my place, I saw to infinity and beyond, and all times were open to me and all dimensions and all places and all questions and answers that were asked and would be asked, and I could be anywhere and in any time I wanted, and at the same time meet the past and the future in my current present, and this was the place I wanted for, and this was the place I longed for, it was my paradise... and I knew that was my place and I would want to be there and live there until the end of time.

And again I ask the wondering... how can one put into words the taste of love, the sound of the scent, the colors of purity?

I can’t, there are no words whose power is capable of conveying the feeling and I will not try.

Impossible, there are simply no words... they haven’t yet been born into our language.

I wanted so much to stay there and sit at one of the tables and not continue with the figures beside me, but I knew I had to go on... and we stopped before a gate, and the figures told me that I must enter alone.

[When I write... told me, I mean they didn’t tell me verbally, rather I suddenly knew what I had to do and their will was my desire. The communication was energetic. (Telepathic)]

I entered a hall so large that its edges couldn’t be seen, and before me stood a figure covered in a white robe, and as far as I looked up, until I saw the absolute infinity, it was taller, and when I looked down beyond the lower infinity, it was bigger... and how the hall was large from edge of the absolute infinity to its other end this enlightened entity filled it end to end, and still, there was much space.

The gleaming white robe was woven with souls glowing in their purity and purity, and the glow was so intense in power that it could blind and burn, yet I wasn’t blinded or burned, and only felt their love.

I saw some patches still missing in the robe, waiting for matching souls to take their place, and I saw my patch calling me in the light of absolute love to my mission.

When all the patches are filled, I knew redemption would come, and the enlightened entity asked me if I wished now to fulfill my eternal mission and merge into it.

And I thought to myself that I would have preferred to return to the first hall with all the souls I saw on my way here, and at that very moment the thought crossed, I knew I wasn’t yet ready for my spiritual mission and that I had to go back... the figure disappeared and the hall disappeared, and I was again within the bubble that gathered me initially, and again I saw the evil around me and the fear looking at me, but I was protected and loved and wanted, and the love and I were still one.

Even today, after many years have passed, when I look back I’m not sure what that question ushered, I also don’t know the meaning of the question and the memory is only partially etched within me.

But there is no doubt that there was a question, and the entity expected an answer, and when I answered, I knew at that instant that in that test I failed, and that I had to return.

I woke up in the morgue at Rambam, covered in a sheet, and next to me another bed with a human figure in it covered all the way up to their head. To the side sat a man reading a newspaper, and I wanted to get up and leave, however, when I rose, the pain in my pelvis and head was excruciating, and I screamed in pain. The man jumped from his place and began yelling and fled out of the room screaming, and while I was shouting for help, people in white coats came running in pushing me out of the room I was in...

And the next thing I remember was waking up and my parents were by my side.

I still remember to this day, the crushing of the pelvis and the crash of bones when the car hit me, but when I woke up, except for excruciating pain... the bones were whole and there was no sign of a hit or bruise on them.

Due to the severe head injury, I was transferred and treated at Hadassah Jerusalem, and to this day I have a scar on the left side where the skull bone was crushed into the head.

For many years I was angry at the entity that returned me to this world. I didn’t want to come back. I wanted to be there, and indeed eventually I will return there.

The only question is when and in which reincarnation I will be ready for my mission...