Why Your Soul Chose This Life: The Spiritual Reason Behind Your Challenges and Strengths

The world is not built on equality. Some are wealthy, others poor; some are married, others are waiting a long time to find their match; some are blessed with many children, others long for even one; some are healthy and strong, while others are frequent visitors at the doctor’s office. Every individual has a unique life path made up of different circumstances: livelihood, marriage, children, health, appearance, talents, life events, and more.

What determines the specific life conditions and experiences each of us receives? Why is one person successful in certain areas, while another struggles?

It is known that a baby is not born as a blank slate.They are born to specific parents, with a particular personality, a certain parenting style, and a given socioeconomic background. Of course, the child is born with a specific appearance, health status, and inborn traits. These factors are not assigned randomly; they are determined before the soul descends from the higher worlds into the physical body.

In his book Chesed L’Avraham, the Kabbalist Rabbi Avraham Azulai writes that the angel in charge of “forms” (physical bodies) leads the soul through a treasury of bodies so that it may choose the one it desires- tall or short, whole or with defects, weak or strong, beautiful or not, and so on. He explains: “No person can complain to their Creator about why another is handsome while they are not, because everything depends on the soul’s choice. Know that a person chooses whether they will be strong or weak, rich or poor, short or tall, attractive or unattractive, respected or dishonored, dull or sharp-minded” (Maayan 4, Nahar 11).

Rabbi Yaakov Sikili, a Spanish sage and student of the Rashba, writes in his work Torat HaMincha that all events and circumstances of one’s life are actually approved and chosen by the soul before descending into this world. He writes: “When the intellectual soul is sent to be joined with the body, it is asked to choose the path it desires.” He quotes the Talmudic statement: “All of Creation was made with their stature, their awareness, and their form,” based on the verse, ‘And the heavens and the earth and all their host were completed’ (Genesis 2:1). Don’t read ‘their host’ (tzva’am), but rather ‘their form’ (tzivyonam), and Rashi explains: “with their awareness—they were told they would be created and they consented; with their form—they chose their appearance.”

He continues: “All matters of a person’s life including why the righteous suffer or prosper, or why the wicked suffer or prosper, are all included in King David’s words: ‘And forget not all His rewards’, implying that even those events which seem hidden and unclear are also divine rewards, and G-d pays each person according to their deeds. All of a person’s life paths and experiences are based on their own prior will and choice, whether for better or for worse.”

Similarly, Rabbeinu Bechaye writes: “All beings were created with their will and desire. G-d informed each of them at the beginning of Creation about all the events that would occur to them in life, including their lifespan, how they would die, and the nature of their sustenance, whether abundant or limited, earned independently or through others. And as our Sages taught: ‘All of Creation was made with their awareness and form,’ as it says (Genesis 2), ‘and all their host,’ and they all agreed and accepted.” (Devarim 22:8)

All of the details and experiences of our lives were shown to our soul before it descended into this world. Because the soul understood that these circumstances were specifically tailored for its rectification and growth, it accepted them willingly. The good and the challenging parts of our lives, the successes and the struggles, our strengths and weaknesses, were chosen by us, for our own benefit.