Living with a Veteran: A Wife's Story Goes Viral

"Being the wife of a combat veteran means knowing how to live alone. Going to sleep alone, waking up alone, attending school events alone, going to parent-teacher meetings alone, escorting the kids on trips alone. Being the wife of a combat veteran is about treading lightly every day, as you never know what might trigger his trauma again—the smell from the toaster, kids' screams, or the neighbor's house noise.

"Being a wife to a combat veteran means continuously explaining to the kids that Dad is sick and they need to be sensitive, understanding, and tolerant, even if they're very young. It means recognizing how hard it is to live with him, yet knowing you can't live without him. Being a wife to a combat veteran requires sacrificing a bit of yourself, fighting his battles with doctors, committees, and lawyers, and hearing in those meetings, 'If he's like this, why are you with him?'

"Being the wife of a combat veteran means discovering in his medical summary that you meet all the criteria for secondary traumatization. You're genuinely in trauma, with all that implies, yet still alone. Being the wife of a combat veteran involves wanting a divorce 700 times a day, yet choosing him anew every day. You find a support group of women who become like sisters, as only they truly understand.

"Being the wife of a combat veteran means your heart shatters into pieces on tough days, but bursts with pride on good days. It requires being alert, attentive, understanding, embracing, loving, protective, and nurturing. Being his wife also means being a bit of a hero...," she concludes.

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