A Journey of Connection: Overcoming Barriers with Love

Tina and Rick Trestor longed to have children, but it wasn't happening as planned. In 2003, at the age of 40, they realized their dream of becoming parents by adopting 8-month-old Julia from an orphanage in Siberia, Russia. The delighted couple anticipated a bond with their new daughter, but Julia showed no emotion towards them.

Julia avoided looking her mother in the eye, refused to be held, and often seemed apathetic. Tina, who had waited so long to be a mom, was crushed. She questioned her abilities as a mother and didn't understand why her new daughter rejected her and every attempt she made to get close.

In her blog "Julia and Me," Tina confessed that for weeks, even months, she was deeply depressed. "I thought to myself that I had made a terrible decision. Maybe I wasn't meant to be a mom?" Tina wrote.

As the years went by, the real issue became clear. When Tina went to pick Julia up from daycare, she noticed her sitting alone, sometimes under a table. She began to suspect a developmental issue she hadn't considered and decided to consult a pediatrician. She shared her daughter's behavior with the doctor and then discovered the underlying cause.

Julia was suffering from Reactive Attachment Disorder, a condition often seen in children raised in orphanages from a young age. This rare disorder prevents infants and toddlers from forming emotional bonds with their parents, and it turned out that Julia had it due to trauma and neglect from her biological parents.

Julia then and now

Tina and Rick were determined not to give up and decided to do everything they could to help Julia overcome this challenge. Together, they worked daily to help Julia open up and trust adults. And it worked.

Gradually, Julia began to connect with her adoptive parents and express her feelings. "She let me be her mother, and I honor that trust by remembering every day how she struggled with the 'demons' in her subconscious and how she fights and will continue to fight them," Tina wrote.

Tina documented Julia's journey in a book she wrote. Today, Julia plays the violin and has grown to be a cheerful, lively, and confident child.