Finding Love: It's Possible at Any Age

"My husband Asaf is a 'wedding enthusiast,'" Chana Zoldan says with a smile. This passion, it seems, is contagious and leads only to good things, as the couple has spent 20 years in matchmaking with heavy binders full of proposals, countless phone calls, and an unimaginable number of hours convincing someone to accept a date or consoling after a failed attempt.

"In the end, we were successful," Chana recounts. "It began even before our marriage, when, already engaged, we facilitated our first match. Since then, during every dinner together, there would be ten minutes to half an hour of matchmaking talk. The successes paved the way, and soon we had more and more shattered wedding plates and celebrations, leading to even more phone calls. When calls became a flood, we expanded our efforts and founded a 'matchmaking organization.'"

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"There’s Always a Way to Get Married"

The matchmaking organization that Chana and Asaf founded significantly increased their workload and their successes. "We hired matchmakers," Chana shares, "and paid them salaries that motivated ongoing searches. The goal was to give everyone, even those often overlooked by matchmakers, a chance at finding their match. As time went on, however, we realized something was missing. Despite our many successes, we witnessed too much frustration — singles stuck for years, matches falling apart for no reason, and more. We felt a need for a different solution. Guided by Rabbi Yehoshua Shapira, head of the Ramat Gan Yeshiva, we turned to coaching. After training, we launched 'Matzatichu,' where hundreds have trained, and many found the desired result: a joyful wedding."

What’s the secret to your coaching that succeeds where traditional matchmaking doesn't always deliver results?

"Coaching stems from a clear understanding — today's generation doesn’t want a matchmaker to push or persuade them," Chana clarifies. "They yearn for guidance that speaks to the importance of their quest, providing tools to realize their dreams. We support those who aren’t ready to just wait for things to happen but want to actively make them happen, using right guidance to achieve their goals."

"Time and again, we meet singles who think marriage is beyond reach, but in truth, it’s the opposite. Now is the time to replace frustrating conversations with a systematic and proven process."

"It’s not extensive therapy," Chana explains, "because most participants only need to remove a simple external barrier to get married. Our vision is to change public perception: being single isn't fate, and marriage isn't dependent on age, luck, or character. With clear insights and correct actions, marriage is possible at any stage."

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"You Can't Wait Passively"

Still, why do some people get married easily without this training?

"It's true," Chana agrees, "many people marry without deep wedding insights. It’s mostly God’s help, but sometimes it’s also lessons from family or school influencing their outlook and preparation for this stage."

"However, it often doesn't happen that way, and when seeking 'the one,' people long for a perfect romantic moment, believing 'that's how it must be.' Any absence of this means 'this isn't it,' but that’s incorrect. Building something solid requires an engineer, architect, and raw materials. Only through work and perseverance can a structure, spiritual or physical, be formed."

"Building processes can be exhausting and frustrating without the expected excitement and joy, but ultimately, they are fulfilling and worthwhile because they lead to creation. Understanding this saves effort. For those who don't, they search superficially for what's 'best' or 'easiest,' often needing more waiting, as finding perfection without effort is unlikely."

"Women sometimes tell me they've had no offers in two years, then reject the first one due to 'no spark.' How much pain and frustration they could avoid if they understood. Serious candidates must be proactive, intelligent, and engaged. It’s not passive — we must actively ensure it happens."

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You Get What You Work For

How long does your coaching last?

"Until the wedding," Chana assures, fearless in her commitment. "When serious participants dedicate their energies to the process, weddings happen. It’s not always weeks or months; a year is average, but I continually stress that marriage is natural and achievable. Most importantly, it can happen for anyone."

"We engage in a personal journey to find each participant's truth, understanding what they want by distinguishing main goals from side issues. They alone determine what's right for them. My role is to help reach conclusions and analyze past hindrances. Recognizing this frees one from the tangle of strings, making it possible to weave the fabric of their future home. Anyone can marry; it depends on them."

Are there exceptional cases?

"I'm no deity and can't predict each person's fate, but I see marriage as a natural and expected life stage. Just as a mother is sure her child will crawl and walk, it's understood here too. It’s always thrilling to see those realizing and embracing this journey finally rejoice after years of waiting and frustration. It’s particularly moving at the happy conclusion, whether for a young woman or older."

Can you share a special success story?

"Once, a woman close to despair came to me. I confidently promised to be with her 'until marriage.' Despite lengthy training, disappointments, and failed matches, she persevered as I mirrored her journey with faith. For eight months, then she recalled a good past encounter with someone, despite a past issue. We decided not to give up, exploring the obstacle's roots with deep analysis leading to a clear decision. At that time, as Passover approached, on the eve of April 11th, approaching holiday preparations in Jerusalem, my husband reminded me of a local client to wish a 'happy holiday.' It seemed absurd, but we spent four hours analyzing everything, weighing pros and cons. Their reunion led to marriage. That woman still tells me how she learned that 'without effort, there’s no marriage.' Marriage takes work and God’s help to succeed."