Is It Better to Be a Baal Teshuvah?

Yoav asks: 'Hello, this topic has been on my mind a lot recently. They say where baalei teshuvah stand, even complete tzaddikim cannot stand. Also, Hashem is very discerning with tzaddikim.'

- So I can't understand why we should aspire to be a tzaddik? Wouldn't it be better to be a baal teshuvah and thereby achieve a higher level in Gan Eden?

- Why, then, should one strive to be a tzaddik? With tzaddikim, Hashem scrutinizes them closely, and they do not reach the level of baalei teshuvah? I know this can't be true, but I can't explain where I'm going wrong.

- Another related question, why is it said that Hashem desires the prayers of tzaddikim and tests them for it? After all, they are not at fault."

* * *

Hello and blessings, Yoav, and thank you for your intriguing questions.

The definition of a baal teshuvah:

First, let's correct a common misconception: even tzaddikim do teshuvah, "As there is no righteous person on earth who does good and does not sin" (Kohelet 7:20). Everyone repents, even the greatest of tzaddikim does teshuvah to progress in observing Torah and mitzvot. It is also said, "For the righteous falls seven times, and rises again" (Proverbs 24:16), a tzaddik is called such not because he falls, but because he gets up again and again and does not despair.

Chazal said originally: "In the place where baalei teshuvah stand, tzaddikim cannot stand" (Sanhedrin 99a), yet as we see, there are tzaddikim who are baalei teshuvah, and there are baalei teshuvah who are tzaddikim. On first glance, the boundary is not clear. Rabbeinu Bechaye, author of Chovot HaLevavot, clarified things, explaining that all observers of mitzvot are also baalei teshuvah, but they are divided into three types:

A. The first baal teshuvah is a tzaddik who never committed severe transgressions that warrant karet, but occasionally neglected positive commandments (like wearing tefillin, perhaps he was not attentive in fulfilling lulav, etc.), from which he did teshuvah. All his sins are forgiven, and he is called a complete tzaddik.

B. The second baal teshuvah is one who violated prohibitive commandments, but not those punishable by death or karet (such as shaving with a razor, eating forbidden foods, etc.), after he did teshuvah for his actions, he rises to a higher level than a complete tzaddik, because he is now ashamed of his previous actions and does not boast about his mitzvot. Thanks to his added humility, he merits this special level - "In the place where baalei teshuvah stand, even complete tzaddikim cannot stand."

C. The third baal teshuvah is one who sinned in severe transgressions requiring karet and death by court (such as forbidden relationships, Shabbat desecration, etc.), and did teshuvah for them. His sins are forgiven, but in this case, he must purify himself from his sins by receiving suffering and various trials that will correct his soul. Although he also attains being a tzaddik and pure, due to the severity of his transgressions, he does not rise to a higher level (Chovot HaLevavot, Shaar HaTeshuvah, Chapter 8).

It's never "worthwhile" to sin:

Hashem created humans to keep His commandments. The purpose of creation is to keep the commandments, and of course, not to transgress them. From this, we understand that those who sin - miss the purpose of creation. Chazal warned: "One who says "I will sin and return, sin and return," is not given the opportunity to do teshuvah" (Mishnah, Yoma 8:9). The goal is not to sin and then repent, but not to sin at all! As we pray every day in the morning blessings: "May it be Your will, Hashem, my God, that you accustom me to Your Torah and attach me to Your commandments, and do not bring me to sin or transgression, nor to trial and disgrace."

Since sinners have descended in their levels and corrupted themselves, they need a special lift to return, or else they would remain in their state forever. Therefore, in His great mercy, Hashem gave the opportunity for teshuvah - and also a special level for baalei teshuvah, allowing them to grow and ascend despite what they ruined in their past. To contrast, this can be likened to what is called in state laws "affirmative action," meaning a correction to laws giving preference and priority to weaker members of the population.

Similarly, the baal teshuvah struggled with greater challenges in life, with trials and challenges he could not withstand, he must return from his sins and also confront urges and memories of the past, thus he is weaker and feels dejected in his own eyes and before Hashem. For this reason, Hashem feels special mercy for him and loves him with special love! Only thus does he earn to draw close, rise, and become a tzaddik who is not lesser than others who did not transgress.

In all the words of the prophets, encouragement is found for sinners to return in teshuvah: "Come, let us reason together, says Hashem; if your sins are like scarlet, they will become as white as snow; if they are red like crimson, they will become like wool" (Isaiah 1:18). It's understood that these verses do not encourage observant people to transgress in order to become baalei teshuvah, but they teach that Hashem comes forward to those who have already sinned and assists them with special help to grow and rise again. They earn a special level encouraging them to return and also to love themselves anew despite their past.

Like Rabbeinu Bechaye, the Rambam explained in Hilchot Teshuvah that those with severe sins of karet will have to endure suffering to atone for their sins, but the Rambam wanted to emphasize the special level of all baalei teshuvah to encourage them. Therefore, the Rambam does not divide between their levels like Rabbeinu Bechaye; rather, he explains that all baalei teshuvah earn a higher level in Gan Eden, because they learn to conquer their desire - meaning they struggle with the difficult trials and urges with which they sinned, and as such, their reward is greater. In his sacred words: "Do not consider a baal teshuvah to be distanced from the level of tzaddikim due to sins and transgressions he committed. This is not the case; rather, he is beloved and cherished before the Creator, as if he never sinned at all; moreover, his reward is abundant, as he has tasted sin and departed from it and conquered his urge. Sages said, where baalei teshuvah stand, even complete tzaddikim cannot stand: their level being greater because they conquer their desires more than others" (Hilchot Teshuvah, Chapter 7, 4).

In the words of Rambam, there is encouragement for all baalei teshuvah, assuring them of a special level in Gan Eden for their great effort and personal suffering in overcoming their urges.

Baalei Teshuvah merit a special treasure in Gan Eden:

It seems appropriate to propose an explanation that baalei teshuvah indeed merit a very great privilege in the world to come (both due to the humility as Rabbeinu Bechaye wrote, and the conquering of the urge as Rambam wrote), but it does not mean they "automatically" become as great as Moses and Aaron. Rather, the intention is that because of the act of teshuvah and overcoming sin, baalei teshuvah earn a special treasure reserved for them in Gan Eden, where numerous treasures are kept for those who faced unique trials and refined certain qualities in their souls (every tzaddik and the specific correction he made in the world).

For example, there is a special treasure reserved only for Jews who endure humiliation and do not retaliate (Shabbat 88b). Insults and disgrace are known trials that Hashem decides to send to certain people to increase their reward in Gan Eden; they do not come to everyone. Similarly, there are people who received trials of evil urges and failures requiring them to return in teshuvah. But an observer of mitzvot is not supposed to seek to initially be a baal teshuvah just as he is not supposed to seek insults. However, once Hashem has decided to send someone the difficult trial of transgression and teshuvah, then he will know that enduring the trial of teshuvah is a special victory in Gan Eden, a personal treasure reserved only for baalei teshuvah.

But even though there are various special treasures reserved for those enduring unique trials such as disgrace and doing teshuvah, the main and greatest treasure lies in the study of Torah and observance of mitzvot. It's important to remember that the primary spiritual level in the world to come is defined by one's commitment to Torah and mitzvot: "If you have studied much Torah, you will be given much reward" (Pirkei Avot 2:16). This applies even to baalei teshuvah who become great Torah scholars and righteous people. Rabbi Akiva began to study Torah only at the age of 40, and yet he became one of the greatest tzaddikim and sages of the Mishnah! Thus, the opportunity to strengthen and grow in Torah exists at any age. Baalei teshuvah earn additional and special rewards for their great efforts in their return to teshuvah, but the main reward is found in engagement with Torah.

Why are tzaddikim scrutinized so closely?

In answer to your question as to why tzaddikim are scrutinized so closely (a statement that includes baalei teshuvah who became righteous), the answer is that many tzaddikim indeed face greater and tougher challenges - but as a result, they earn an immense spiritual portion in Gan Eden, and are joyful in their spiritual achievements. What is it like? One person works just eight hours a day as an employee and lives a mediocre life, whereas there is a great merchant who toils day and night to bring goods from distant lands, spending many months in effort until he finally succeeds in becoming wealthy and lives in luxury. The tzaddik is like the great merchant, exerting himself for mitzvot and willing to suffer for them in this world to attain large and grand eternal life.

Hashem sends trials and challenges to great tzaddikim, only because they are ready and eager to face those trials, even longing for them, as Rabbi Akiva told his students when he was killed sanctifying Hashem's name: "All my days I have been troubled by this verse '[And you shall love Hashem, your God, with all your heart] and with all your soul,' [and I asked] when will it come to my hands and I will fulfill it" (Berachot 61b). It is clear Hashem does not send trials of such a level to those who do not recognize their importance. The ethical texts described it like a king's commander awaiting the next battle order, to prove his dedication to the king, then he earns a rise in rank. The king sends his commander to battle - not to punish him, but to allow him to prove his heroism. So the great tzaddikim rejoice in the afflictions that come upon them, as they see them as further challenges that advance them spiritually.

Regarding such great tzaddikim, like the holy matriarchs, it is said: "Why were our matriarchs barren? Because Hashem desires the prayers of the righteous" (Bereishit Rabbah 45:4). These are righteous of the foundation of the world, who act out of love and rejoice in afflictions, upon whom the world stands, and their prayer benefits and saves the entire generation. And their reward in the world to come is beyond description.

In conclusion, baalei teshuvah also choose to be tzaddikim, and tzaddikim choose to return to teshuvah from their previous level. But in the end, the main goal is to be a tzaddik. Because whoever chooses to be a tzaddik will be closer to Hashem and will earn eternal abundance in the world to come.