"When I Grow Up - I Will Do Everything So There Won't Be Sad Children Like Me"

Little Jacob was only 3 years old when he began collecting profoundly painful memories, literally. He just wanted to play like any child in the neighborhood of the city of Bucharest, Romania. In those days, when he returned home battered, bruised, and bloody, he discovered that there is a hurt even greater than all the ruthless blows: his mother could no longer hide from him that he had no father to protect him.

This is a story of heroism, courage, perseverance, hope, and faith, beating in the small heart of a 5-year-old orphan, who made one bold decision that came true after decades, flourishing into a thriving life project for families in Israel. The story of Rabbi Dr. Jacob Arnberg.

"I was born in Romania in 1956 according to their calendar. My parents were Holocaust survivors, and part of their family was murdered in the Holocaust and in camps. We lived in a particularly anti-Semitic neighborhood. I was an only child to my parents, and I had no siblings," recounts Rabbi Arnberg the first memories of his life as an orphaned child in exile.

"At the age of 3, when I began to go out to play in the neighborhood yard, I felt the might of the anti-Semitic bullies who found a game: a Jewish child. They hit me, shook my body, kicked me, and called me humiliating slurs: Gidanu, meaning filthy Jew."

"I wanted my father, my hero, to come and show them"

Sweet Jacob would return home, seeking support and protection. "I wanted my father, my hero, to come and show them. My mother, may she rest in peace, didn't know how to tell me that my father had passed away, so she told me a different story each time: 'Father will come, Father went to buy you a horse,' and various fabrications meant to shield me from the painful news that I didn't have a father to protect me. At some point, she could no longer hide from me the bitter fact: I had no father, and I never would. I realized that if I am not for myself, who will be for me. I am an orphan, and if I don't look after myself in this world, no one will do it for me."

At the age of five, Jacob's mother decided they would move to the Holy Land and told him, "In Israel, no one will hit you anymore. Everyone there is Jewish. It will be good for you." While the blows from the anti-Semitic gentiles no longer existed in Israel, the blow of orphanhood, loneliness, and poverty continued to ache in his little heart:

"We moved to Israel in 1961 from their calendar on the ship 'Theodor Herzl'. I remember the seagulls flying around the ship, the calm blue sea, which already heralded a new horizon and hope.

Jacob Arnberg and his mother, Rosa of blessed memory against the backdrop of the certificate: Approval of immigration to the Land of Israel

On a piece of moldy bread: "Who had the strength to eat at all"

"We arrived at the port of Haifa. They loaded the new immigrants onto trucks, and those who were lucky traveled by buses. The 'Jewish Agency' sent us to Kiryat Gat. At that time, Kiryat Gat was still an immigrant town, with immigrants living in transit camps and cabins, immigrants from Romania living alongside immigrants from Morocco and Iraq, a true ingathering of exiles. As immigrants, we, of course, didn't know Hebrew, and how can one start communicating in a foreign land without knowing the language?"

Jacob's mother worked two jobs, in the mornings she worked in a clothing factory, and at nights she worked in bakeries. Thus, as his mother worked to the point of exhaustion, 5-year-old Jacob was left simply wandering the streets. "Nobody knew where I roamed. In the afternoons, I played with children my age, and when it started to get dark, my friends' parents called them to come home for dinner and a shower. No one called me. Who would call me? A father who passed away, or a mother who had to work for our livelihood and didn't know what was happening with me?"

Rabbi Arnberg recalls his childhood and the poverty of his life at that time. "I roamed the streets and found leftover toys: a wooden tractor without wheels, a doll without hands... I collected them and brought them home. The refrigerator at home was usually empty; perhaps a tomato, a cucumber, or a piece of moldy bread was left in it. Who had the strength, appetite, or desire to eat at all?"

Age 7 in Givatayim, the year 1963 according to their calendar

What does a 5-year-old child do, wandering the streets in the morning, discovering there is such a thing as kindergarten?

Later, little Jacob discovered something strange: when he was wandering in the morning looking for his friends in the playground, he couldn't find them anywhere. "I saw a big yard, with a building, and there my friends were! I saw a nice woman playing with them, they were eating a slice spread with jam, drinking raspberry juice, and it seemed like they were having fun. I called out to the woman to come to me through the fence. I asked her, 'Why are my friends in here, and I'm not?!'

The kindergarten teacher told Jacob that it was a kindergarten, and the children were registered for it. "And who registered them to this yard here?" continued Jacob, adamant to understand. "Their parents. Tell your mother or father to come and register you, and you can be with them and play with them."

Jacob's determination, as well as the tears flowing from his eyes, touched the heart of the kindergarten teacher. "I started to cry. I tried to explain to her: which mom? I don't even know where she is, what father? What father? For two years, I haven't had anyone to call father. 'Can I register myself for the kindergarten?'

I pleaded, asking her to let me enter the kindergarten yard, and my mom would come one day and register me. The kindergarten teacher must have felt sorry for me and added me to the group of children. Now I'm with my friends! At least I got a slice of black bread with jam, and I drank raspberry. How fun."

"On every holiday, my friends were happy, and I was sad"

Little Jacob continued to have a chain of painful experiences that were deeply etched in his heart, but today he speaks of the divine providence he was fortunate to see in every part of his life, all to establish and run a life project for children, parents, and families in Israel.

"The holiday period was the hardest for me. On every holiday, my friends had fun, and I was sad. Chanukah came, all the children were decorated with tape and a candle on their heads - and so was I, but they had parents, brothers and sisters, who danced with them, and sang with them: 'A candle for me, a thin candle for me, on Chanukah I will light my candle.' The parents lit a candle for their children, and who would light the light in my soul? And I - where am I going?

Then, in those days of childhood and loneliness, when Jacob was left alone on the swings in the dark, after all the children went home to receive a warm meal and a hot shower, and their mothers or fathers put them to sleep with a caress, a fateful decision fell into his heart:

"I said to myself: when I grow up, I will do everything so there won't be sad children like me anymore. I will do everything to ensure every child has a father and mother who live together and raise their children with love. A thought of a 5-year-old, who searched, and wanted only to do good in the world.

Rosa and Chaim of blessed memory, parents of Jacob

A good ending that is a good beginning: An extensive family that spreads light in Israel

Hashem was good to Jacob the child, and by the grace of Hashem, his widowed mother married a wonderful and special man who raised him. His life's journey was met with great success at many stops where he was able to reap the fruits of his dream to bring happiness to families in Israel: "I studied in a high yeshiva in Kfar Haroe, and later at 'Mercaz HaRav' yeshiva, served in the army, and was discharged with the rank of captain. I married and had the privilege of building a home in Israel, a blessed family with children and grandchildren, who spread the light throughout the expanse of Israel, most of them working in fields of therapy, social work, occupational therapy, and more.

"Around 22 years ago, I studied at the Y.N.R Institute in Jerusalem for marriage counseling and took dozens of courses. Even as a student, I knew it wouldn't be long before I opened my own institute, training students to bring their mission and statement to the world, and mainly to add peace at home.

Over the years, I specialized in dozens of courses, including in the fields of psychotherapy, CBT, NLP and more."

About eight years ago, Rabbi Simcha Cohen, may he live long, approached Rabbi Arnberg after the latter was invited to teach in his first course. Rabbi Cohen offered Rabbi Arnberg to establish an institute, gave his blessing, and said he would stand by him and help, and indeed, so it was. Rabbi Simcha Cohen taught at the institute throughout its existence and traveled the length and breadth of the country, even when we opened courses in Be'er Sheva in the south and until Rechasim in the north. Rabbi Cohen spared no efforts to congratulate, encourage, and guide with good advice and instruction.

On the success of Arnberg College graduates: Clinic owners with waiting lists, radio programs, regular columns in the press, and more

Today, we see a great and significant blessing in our efforts with hundreds of graduates achieving great success.

The graduates fulfill their mission faithfully throughout the country from Be'er Sheva in the south to Maalot in the north. More than half of them have opened independent clinics, and some have even opened 2-3 clinics in parallel with waiting lists of several months to get admitted for treatment. Our graduates run workshops and home groups, lecture at colleges and institutions, some participate in regular radio programs, some have regular columns in the printed press, and some even publish weekly pamphlets.

Today, all students, male and female, as well as the graduates of the institute, feel that we have become one large family - the Arnberg Family. I continue to accompany the graduates with any questions that arise, and any doubt that comes up both at the level of professional treatment and sometimes even advice on their private marriage. Today I no longer feel like an only child – I have a huge family of hundreds of dear brothers and sisters.                                                       

On collaboration with Hidabroot: "Arnberg Institute and Hidabroot carry the same flag of mission"

On the collaboration with Hidabroot in training marriage counselors, Rabbi Arnberg said the following: "Hidabroot Organization, the largest Jewish organization in the world, and Rabbi Zamir Cohen, may he live long, who stands at its head, bring healing to the world. This is expressed through the simple perspective on nature, on history, on human traits, on speaking at eye level and on the love that Rabbi Zamir, may he live long, gives in his enlightening lectures, given almost every evening in every corner of the country. It wouldn't happen without this warm heart and without the sense of mission that Rabbi Zamir, may he live long, lowers and directs to all hundreds of employees of the organization.

It is a great privilege for me to collaborate with the Hidabroot Organization. I feel that both the Arnberg Institute and the 'Hidabroot' organization carry the same flag, of the same mission - to add more color and more good to the world!"

You have it in your soul: the mission to help people. Join the professional training courses in marriage counseling and guidance for grooms and brides. An in-demand and profitable profession from Hidabroot in collaboration with Arnberg Institute. We are waiting for you on the open day. Call 073-222-1300 orclick here