When Faith Is Tested: Finding Strength in God During Times of Pain and Doubt

Recently, something very painful happened in our family. Our father, who had always been healthy and strong, suddenly fell ill and collapsed.

Prayers were said constantly for his recovery. Children and mothers prayed without pause, and we organized shifts of Psalms around the clock. Since then, I feel as though something inside my heart is crumbling — my faith in God, in His providence, in His hearing of our prayers.

On the surface, I can still say all the right words: that God oversees everything, that He hears our prayers, that everything is for the good. But deep inside, doubts gnaw at me. I fear even to speak these questions aloud, yet I cannot escape them.

Is there a way to strengthen myself? How can I continue to believe even in such a situation? How can I avoid losing my faith?

—Y.S.B.

* * *

It is very difficult to respond to your question. I do have something in my heart to say, perhaps even a response that might help heal your struggle of faith, but I hesitate, for it feels unfair to explain or lecture when I myself have not endured the exact trial you are experiencing.

This was the mistake of Job’s friends: they knew how to cite and explain lofty ideas, but they erred deeply in their approach. What Job needed was not theological arguments, but genuine companionship in his pain. They should have shared his burden, not preached at him.

Before I say anything, let me first send from the depths of my heart a prayer for your father’s full recovery, together with all the ill among Israel. And a blessing of strength and faith to you and your family, who carry this burden so personally. May the Merciful One accept your prayers soon, with compassion, and open your eyes to see clearly that He truly hears every prayer.

Not to “Shrink” God

Faith in God does not mean that His role is to make my life comfortable or to arrange it exactly as I would wish. His plans are infinitely greater than my plans or my dreams. To believe in Him only as long as He “agrees” with how I want my life to unfold, is to shrink Him down into nothing more than a servant of my will.

I imagine life as taking place on two planes. One plane is mine, the familiar one. There my single goal is always that things go according to my desire. When they do not, I become upset, resentful, or disappointed, and even angry at God.

The other plane is God’s. There, His single goal is that I fulfill my purpose in this world, that I grow into the person He created me to be, and that I serve Him faithfully.

Often these two planes clash. The work of faith is to align them, or at least to draw my will closer to His.

A Small Arena of Growth

This clash can appear even in the most ordinary moments. If I go to the grocery store to buy a specific item, but instead, I find a long line, someone even cuts in front of me, or the item I wanted isn’t there, I will come home with nothing but frustration, having wasted time I could have spent on something “more important.”

In my narrow view, my purpose was lost. In God’s view however, something entirely different took place. That missing item was just the trigger. He gave me a half hour designed for me to practice patience, kindness, tolerance, and acceptance.

From His perspective, that half hour contributed to my eternity. It was a rung in the ladder of my spiritual growth. What is true in small, daily frustrations is also true in the larger dramas of life — even those that last years and cause deep pain.

Eternal Gain Through Trial

Each of us is given personal events, sometimes shocking and painful, as in your case. From our perspective, we want life to return to normal, for problems to be solved, for sickness to be healed, for financial stress to disappear.

From God’s perspective, the goal is different. He gives us arenas of growth, and opportunities to harvest eternal spiritual gains, if we choose to respond with faith.

There are countless reasons for human suffering, far beyond our comprehension. However, it is clear that each of us has lessons to learn. In those moments, our free will remains active to grow closer to God or to turn away, to rise or to fall.

Two Responses to the Same Pain

I once knew two people who suffered similar accidents. Both became nearly completely paralyzed. Their pain is unimaginable. How could anyone find words to encourage them?

Yet the two chose entirely different paths. One chose despair. He lived in bitterness, hopeless and unwilling to continue. He became a shadow of a person.

The other, however, made a different choice — an almost superhuman choice. With faith and determination, he worked for years in rehabilitation, believing in a better future. Today, he walks on his own, drives, heals others through alternative medicine, and radiates optimism and joy. He even says openly that he thanks God for the accident, because only through it did he grow into the person he became.

Toward a Mature Faith

If our faith in God rests only on the condition that He fulfill our wishes, it will inevitably collapse when life does not go our way. However, this collapse itself may be a blessing as it demonstrates that our earlier faith lacked backbone, built on mistaken assumptions about God’s role.

With that faulty faith broken, we can rebuild and construct a stronger, truer faith, that aligns with how God actually governs the world, rather than how we imagine Him to.

Faith as Trust

Indeed, this does not erase the pain in your heart. Theory is easy, but living it is hard. How do we find the strength to endure suffering?

Years ago, my two-year-old daughter became seriously ill and had to be hospitalized. In the emergency room, we had to hand her over to a doctor who inserted a long needle into her tiny hand. Can you imagine what she felt? Her beloved parents gave her over to a stranger who caused her pain. For her, it was a terrifying riddle with no explanation.

No reasoning could comfort her. The only thing that gave her peace was her trust in us. The recognition that we are her loving parents, that we know what we are doing, and that even though it hurts, it is for her good. Without that trust, every painful treatment would look like proof that we hated her. With trust however, even what she could not understand could still be endured.

So it is with us and God. When trust grows, it provides meaning even to the most painful riddles of life. Without trust, faith collapses, and we may even come to the terrible conclusion that God is our enemy.

The Prayer

Alongside our prayers for healing and salvation, we must also pray that in every circumstance we learn what God wants us to learn, that we grow closer to Him, and that we recognize His love for us even in moments that appear to be the very opposite.

May it be God’s will that He soon say “Enough!” to all our suffering.