Finding Inner Peace: 5 Ways to Calm the Inner Fire Without Getting Burned

Lag B'Omer is a holiday of fire, but also one of inner light. The fires we ignite in bonfires outside remind us of the internal flame within us, the one that blazes when we are angry, frustrated, or overwhelmed. Everyone has moments when something inside is burning. The question is, how can we extinguish this fire without burning ourselves or those around us?

1. Write to Understand What Truly Burns

When we feel turbulent inside and the emotion threatens to erupt, intuitive writing can douse the fire. Just sit and pour everything onto the page, without thinking, without crafting beautiful sentences, and without censoring.

The words on the page become a mirror. Suddenly we can discover what really bothers us, what is unnecessary, and what needs healing. Often, just by seeing what's raging within us, the flames begin to subside.

How to Do It?
Sit with a sheet of paper and a pen (not a phone), and start the sentence: "What is most upsetting me right now is..." Write for at least 5 minutes without lifting the pen. You don't need to solve all problems, just release and let the page absorb it. Once you're done, you can read, erase, tear, or burn the page and let go.

2. Movement: Let Your Body Express What Words Cannot

Anger doesn't always express itself in words. Sometimes it settles deep in the body – in aching shoulders, a clenched jaw, and a heaviness in the abdomen. It accumulates slowly, like in a pressure cooker, but just as steam seeks an outlet, this emotion needs to come out, and gentle, mindful movement can be the key.

What to Do?

• Take a brisk walk outside while taking deep breaths.

• Do jumps, shake your hands, or perform gentle yoga exercises – anything that will make you sweat a little and smile a lot.

• Dance freely when you're alone in the room – dance as if no one is judging you. No one really is watching.

Just as you light the stove and can regulate the height of the flame, so too movement creates an emotional space for you to modulate your feelings without bursting out.

3. Breathe It Out: Release Through Conscious Breathing

Sometimes anger overwhelms, the heart races, and the body reacts as if it's in a real emergency. Instead of shouting – you can exhale. Conscious breathing is a powerful tool to calm the nervous system and release the inner fire in a gentle, yet effective way.

Simple Exercise:

• Sit comfortably and close your eyes.

• Inhale slowly and count to 4.

• Hold the air for a second or two, then exhale slowly – counting to 6 or 8. Repeat this breathing at least five times.

• As you exhale, you can imagine the anger coming out like smoke. Each exhale is a small release, each breath brings you back control.

4. Internal Flame: Meditation Through Observing Fire

There's something mesmerizing about fire. When looking at a flame, without speaking and without thinking – a deep healing process begins. Suddenly the pain finds solace, anger dissipates, and the breath calms. No need for an hour-long meditation, five minutes of presence are enough.

Simple Practice with a Candle

• Light a candle (or look at a bonfire).

• Sit quietly. Look at the flame.

• Each time thoughts stray – bring your attention back to the candle's light and the warmth of the flame.

• Notice: What emotions arise? How does your body react?

This is a great way to soften the fire without extinguishing it. Just give it a place without letting it take over you.

5. Share Without Judgment: This is How Emotion Truly Unloads

Not every conversation needs to lead to a solution. Sometimes all you need is a safe place to unload. Not shouting, but talking. Without someone interrupting you, giving advice, or trying to change you.

How to Do It Right?

• Choose a person you feel comfortable with.

• Say upfront: "I just need to unload, not seek solutions."

• Speak from the heart. Even if you cry – that's okay.

• Thank the person who listened to you. It's not a given.

Emotional unloading through listening can work wonders. Sometimes, just when someone truly sees us – the internal fire seems less threatening.

Bottom Line

Anger, like fire, is not an enemy. It's a sign that something inside needs attention. Lag B'Omer reminds us that fire can also become light. It's up to us: will we choose to burst out or try to calm the flames through observation, writing, movement, and a good conversation? What do you choose?