Mourning: Laws Related to the Hashkavah Custom

Timing of the Hashkavah

The custom is to recite "Hashkavah" within the 12 months after a Torah lesson or prayer, at the end of an aliyah to the Torah, especially on holy Shabbat. And every year on Yom Kippur. (A 353. C 198, 199)

It is written in Shibolei Haleket that after reading the Torah on Shabbat, it is customary to mention souls. Since Shabbat is a day of rest, similar to the future world which is entirely Shabbat and rest, and also a day when the deceased rest and are not judged, it is appropriate to mention them for rest and blessing and to pray for them. (Beit Yosef Orach Chaim 284)

Minimizing Praise

When reciting the Hashkavah, one should mention the name of the deceased without excessive titles and praises, such as: the most righteous person, the pious one, beloved above and pleasant below, etc., because exaggeration in titles can harm their soul, as in the world of truth, they are very particular about this matter. (A 368)

Maran HaChida wrote about a great rabbi who instructed that no title should be said for him in the Hashkavah, but only as one of the common people, and the great men of the city wanted to change his will. Our Sages said that a person who knows one tractate, and people honor him thinking he knows two tractates, should tell them he only learned one tractate. Therefore, this rabbi who feared for his soul lest they describe him with excessive praises beyond what he deserved, they must obey his will.

The Hashkavah Text

In the Hashkavah, they should say the regular text: "He who has mercy on all His creatures [or "God full of mercy"] may He have compassion and mercy on the soul, spirit, and breath of the deceased (name) son of (mother's name), may the spirit of Hashem rest him in Gan Eden". And they should not say the Hashkavah text "proper rest in the higher assembly". (A 368)

Our teacher Rabbi Chaim Vital in Sha'ar HaMitzvot wrote, regarding the Hashkavot that some prayer leaders say, "proper rest in the higher assembly in the level of the holy and pure ones," my teacher the Ari z"l would greatly mock them, saying that on the contrary, they do not elevate the soul of the deceased, and sometimes they lower it if the soul was not worthy of that. And note the word "mock" that came from such a holy mouth. This is similar to what Maran ruled (Section 344), that one who excessively exaggerates in eulogy causes harm to himself and to the deceased. The Shelah wrote that cantors who say, proper rest, etc. "under" the wings of the Divine Presence, their silence is better than their speech, because the souls of the righteous are "above" the wings of the Divine Presence, while they lower it below. And he received from our teacher Rabbi Chaim Vital that only the souls of converts are "under" the wings of the Divine Presence, as it is written about Ruth the Moabite "under whose wings you have come to seek refuge," while the righteous have their souls above the wings of the Divine Presence.

Why is it Called "Hashkavah"?

The great Rabbi Yosef Chaim z"l wrote, you asked why it is called "Hashkavah"? Know that the resting place of the soul is referred to in scripture as a bed, as Jacob our father peace be upon him said (Genesis 47:30): "I will lie with my fathers," and our Sages explained "I will lie" - in the resting place of souls. And also the verse (Isaiah 57:2): "Peace shall come; they shall rest on their beds." Therefore, the prayer for mercy for the soul is called "Hashkavah" (from the word "to lie down"), because through this request the soul will lie in its resting place. And even the soul of a righteous person always has one elevation after another, and the place of the second elevation is called its resting place relative to the previous elevation, and so on. (Responsa Rav Pe'alim Part 4 Orach Chaim 35)

Father's Name or Mother's Name

The Sephardic custom in Hashkavah is to say so-and-so son of "so-and-so" (using the mother's name), while Ashkenazim customarily say so-and-so son of "so-and-so" (using the father's name). (A 368)

In Kaf HaChaim it is written that in Hashkavah they mention the mother's name, because the mother is certain, as it is said: 'And save the son of Your maidservant,' as explained in the holy Zohar. In the responsa Dudaei HaSadeh, he wrote that in his town they customarily mention the father's name. The great Rabbi Eliyahu Gutmacher wrote that when praying for the living, such as for a sick person, one should mention the mother's name, but in Hashkavah one should mention the father's name, because the souls of the father and son are connected together. And so wrote the Gaon of Munkatch, and that this is accepted from our holy teachers, disciples of the Baal Shem Tov. And in Gesher HaChaim he wrote that Sephardim mention the mother's name in Hashkavah, and Ashkenazim the father's name.

After 12 Months

Even after 12 months, it is good to occasionally perform a Hashkavah for parents for the elevation of their souls after Torah reading and at the end of study. (A 353. C 56)

Hashkavah for a Druze Soldier

For a Druze IDF soldier who was killed by Arab Ishmaelites while on duty protecting Israel, it is permitted to say a Hashkavah in the synagogue for the elevation of his soul. (Responsa Yabia Omer 10, Yoreh Deah 55. C 238)

The Druze believe in one God and are not idolaters at all. They also believe in the immortality of the soul, and furthermore, they enlist in the Israel Defense Forces and sacrifice their lives to protect the residents of the State of Israel, and keep the seven Noahide laws, and are considered as righteous gentiles. It is written in Sefer Chasidim that for a gentile who did good deeds for Israel, one can perform a Hashkavah and ask Hashem to lighten his judgment. All the more so for Druze soldiers who risk their lives to protect Israel, it is a mitzvah to pray for them to Hashem to ease their judgment, for His mercy is upon all His works. Rabbi Yitzchak Attia wrote in his book Rov Dagan that it is permissible to pray for the healing of a sick gentile from the righteous of the nations, just as our Sages said (Gittin 59a), "We support the poor of the gentiles with the poor of Israel for the sake of peace." And especially if the prayer is accepted and it is a time of favor and the sick person recovers, then there will be a public sanctification of Hashem's name. And so did several great rabbis of Israel. There is proof from the prophet Elisha who healed Naaman from his leprosy, and he became a resident alien (Sanhedrin 96b). All the more so now that we are in exile and need the kindness of the nations of the world. And there was an incident with the great pious Rabbi Yehuda Katzin (author of Machaneh Yehuda), when a gentile came to him with a child lying in his arms like a lifeless stone, and after the rabbi whispered over him and prayed for him and blessed him, he awoke from his sleep and was immediately healed and went from death to life, causing a great sanctification of Hashem's name. And what Maran wrote in the Shulchan Aruch (Section 158), that one should not heal a gentile even for payment except in a place of enmity, this applies only to an idolater, but if he does not worship idols, it is permitted. And so ruled Rabbi Chaim Palagi regarding a Jew who had a gentile partner who did him favors, and the gentile fell ill and was bedridden, that it is permissible to pray for him for complete healing. And there was an incident with a gentile who was near death, and sent a request to the rabbi to pray for him, and the rabbi did so, and the gentile dreamed that the rabbi's prayer bore fruit, and a great sanctification of Hashem's name was made. From all this, we can also learn regarding a Druze soldier, that it is certainly appropriate to say a Hashkavah for him. (Responsa Yabia Omer Part 10 Yoreh Deah 55. C 238)