Laws of Tearing Garments for the Dead, and the Blessing of the True Judge

The Mitzvah of Tearing

There is a commandment to tear one's garment upon the death of one of the seven close relatives [father, mother, brother, sister, son, daughter, a man for his wife, and a woman for her husband]. The purpose of tearing is to arouse oneself to weeping and to intensify one's grief, so that one will be more concerned about the deceased. (1:217, 4:227)

Adoptive Parents

An adopted child tears his garment upon the death of his adoptive parents. (1:552)

Stillborn

For an infant who died within thirty days of birth, no tearing is required. (Simon 340:30, 1:220)

Time for Tearing

The tearing should be done as close as possible to the time when the soul departed, because the main purpose of tearing is during the height of bitterness. Therefore, it is proper to tear immediately after the soul departs, before covering the face of the deceased, or immediately upon hearing of the death. However, if they did not think to tear due to the confusion at that time, they should be mindful to tear as soon as possible before the burial is completed. Nevertheless, the custom to tear after the burial or before the consolation meal has valid basis. (1:226)

Last Time for Tearing - If one did not tear and remembered later, if it is still within the seven days of mourning, one should tear. But after the seven days, one does not tear. However, for one's father and mother, one tears at any time. (1:258)

Death on Shabbat

If the deceased died on Shabbat or if one heard about the death on Shabbat, one tears at the conclusion of Shabbat. (Simon 340:28)

Which Garment to Tear

One tears the shirt, and does not need to tear the outer coat [jacket], which is worn for respect when leaving the house. Even if one usually wears it at home, his opinion is nullified in comparison to most people, and he does not need to tear it. Similarly, one does not tear an undershirt, because it is a garment made for perspiration and not for the purpose of clothing. One does not tear a sweater, as it is worn only to protect against the cold. One does not tear pajamas, as they are not a garment of respect. And it is clear that one should not tear the tallit katan, since it is made for a mitzvah. (1:230)

Location of Tearing

For all deceased, one may tear in a private room not in front of people, and insert one's hand inside the garment and tear discreetly. But for one's father and mother, one should tear only from the outside in front of all people. (Simon 340:13, 1:233)

Standing

The tearing must be done while standing, and if one tore while sitting, one has not fulfilled the obligation and must tear again while standing. But an elderly or sick person who cannot stand may tear while sitting or lying down. (Simon 340:1, 1:217)

Side of Tearing

The custom is that for a father and mother one tears on the left side, and for other relatives on the right side. But if one reversed this, it does not invalidate the tearing and one does not need to tear again. (1:233)

Method of Tearing

The custom is that another person begins to cut slightly with a knife or scissors at the edge of the garment, and the mourner continues to tear it himself by hand to the length of a handbreadth [8 cm] from top to bottom, [as this causes more distress when another tears for him and he is embarrassed and silent, accepting Hashem's judgment]. If one tore at the hem of the garment at the bottom or on the sleeve, one has not fulfilled the obligation. (Simon 340:2,3, 1:229, 230)

When tearing for one's father and mother, it is not sufficient to tear 8 cm, but one tears until exposing the heart. Therefore, if one is wearing a shirt with buttons, one tears with scissors at the edge of the shirt horizontally, which is difficult to tear, and then tears by hand from top to bottom specifically toward the heart, not across the garment, until it is exposed at the heart. And if one is wearing a closed shirt [T-shirt], one tears from the edge of the garment at the top of the neck down until the heart is exposed.

Women

Women are obligated to tear. Another woman should begin the tear for her and she continues herself, and immediately after tearing, she should close the tear with a safety pin. One who instructs women not to tear should be rebuked sharply. (Simon 340:11,15, 1:235, 236, 238)

Shirt and Blouse

Women who wear a shirt and an outer blouse must tear both of them to expose the heart as mentioned above. They should use several safety pins for modesty. When does this apply? For the death of a father and mother, but for other relatives, it is sufficient to tear only the outer garment 8 cm.

Maran in the Shulchan Aruch ruled (Simon 340:9): For all deceased, one tears a handbreadth in the upper garment, and that is sufficient. And for one's father and mother, one tears all garments until exposing the heart. Since a shirt and blouse are worn at home and outside like any regular shirt, both must be torn. The blouse is not like a jacket which is an outer garment worn for respect, which does not need to be torn. And the shirt is not like an undershirt which is a garment for perspiration that does not need to be torn. This was also the response given to me by our teacher, the Rishon LeZion Rabbi Yitzchak Yosef, may he live long.

Minors

Boys and girls below the age of mitzvot are exempt from all laws of mourning and grief for their relatives. However, we tear their shirt due to distress, so that the public will cry and increase the honor of the deceased and the mourner. But in a place where there is no distress, such as when the mourners have already returned home and there are no other people there, if the minor is below the age of education, there is no need to tear for him, and on the contrary, there may be a concern of the prohibition of needless destruction. But if he has reached the age of education [age 6], it is good to tear for him. And one who is lenient not to tear has a basis to rely on. (1:125, 255, 258, 2:222)

Borrowed Garment

One who borrowed a shirt from his friend and suddenly his relative died, it is forbidden for him to tear it. And if he transgressed and tore it, he has not fulfilled the obligation of tearing, and must tear another garment of his own. The reason for this is that one who tears a stolen garment has not fulfilled his obligation, since it is a mitzvah that comes through a transgression (Simon 340:29). And since he did not borrow the garment with this in mind, and one who borrows without permission is called a thief, he has not fulfilled his obligation. (Shach ibid 50)

Tearing on Chol HaMoed - See below in the laws of death during Chol HaMoed.

The Blessing of "The True Judge"

One who hears that one of his seven close relatives has died recites: "Blessed are You, Hashem, our God, King of the universe, the True Judge." (1:223)

Time for the Blessing

The custom is to recite the blessing of "The True Judge" before tearing, even though the blessing is not related at all to the mitzvah of tearing, because the blessing is for the bad news itself that one heard. (1:223)

Last Time for the Blessing - If the day of burial and the night after it have passed and one did not recite the blessing, one has lost the opportunity and should not recite it afterward. (1:227, 229, 258, 4:215)

Death on Shabbat

If the deceased died on Shabbat or if one heard about the death on Shabbat, one recites "The True Judge" on Shabbat. And one tears at the conclusion of Shabbat. (1:232, 4:225)

Adoptive Parents

An adopted child recites "The True Judge" with Hashem's name and kingship upon the death of his adoptive parents. (1:552)

Conduct Upon the Death of One's Teacher - Tearing

One who hears of the death of his teacher is obligated to tear for him immediately, even on Chol HaMoed, and all the more so if he is his primary teacher from whom he learned most of his knowledge [meaning he knows most of the practical laws from him (as instructed by Maran HaRashL Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, of blessed memory)] or if he is an exceptional Torah scholar of the generation, even if he is not the greatest of the generation, and even if one did not learn anything from him. (Simon 242:25, Simon 340:8, 1:120, 226)

Although it is ruled in the Shulchan Aruch (Simon 340:7) that not only for one's teacher does one tear, but for any sage who is asked about a matter of law in any place and says it, one tears for him, the later authorities have written that since there is no city in Israel that does not have many Torah scholars, if we were to tear for all of them, we would be left without garments. (1:226)

Similarly, although it is ruled in the Shulchan Aruch (Simon 340:6) that for any upright person who is not suspected of any transgression or neglect of any commandment, and about whom there are no bad rumors, one is obligated to tear between death and burial. Nevertheless, since many people are presumed upright, and if so, one would need to tear often and there would be no end to this, they relied on the opinion of the Ran and the Raviah that it is sufficient to cry and mourn for an upright person without tearing. Additionally, there is concern that people who are not decent might speak slander about the deceased and say that he was not careful with some commandments, and therefore there is no need to tear for him. (1:226)

Last Time for Tearing - If one heard of the death of his teacher and did not tear for him immediately nor at the time of the funeral, one may tear during the fervor of the eulogies within the thirty days, but after thirty days, one does not tear. However, for one's primary teacher or for an exceptional Torah scholar of the generation, one tears at any time.

Distant News - If one did not hear about the death of his teacher until after thirty days, one no longer tears. But for one's primary teacher or for an exceptional Torah scholar of the generation, one tears at any time.

The Blessing of "The True Judge"

One who hears of the death of his teacher or of an exceptional Torah scholar of the generation recites "The True Judge" with Hashem's name and kingship, as is the law for one who blesses upon bad news. (Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim Simon 222:2. Responsa Avi B'Ezri (page 214) by my friend and beloved, the Gaon Rabbi Yitzchak Levi, may he live long, Rabbi of the city of Nesher, and author of the series of books "The Weekly Lesson")

Onen and Mourner

A student observes the laws of aninut (acute mourning) for his teacher, in that he is forbidden to eat meat and drink wine until after the burial, but he is obligated in all commandments and may recite blessings and lead the zimmun. And he mourns for him for one day, meaning he removes his shoes and sits on the ground, but a short time is sufficient, even one minute, because part of the day is considered like the whole day. The same applies to an exceptional Torah scholar of the generation, for whom one behaves as mentioned above. (Simon 242:25, 27, and Simon 374:10, 1:120)