Food Diaries: Emotional Eating – Part Three in the Series

Sometimes, it's challenging to distinguish between physical hunger and emotional hunger, as both sensations are quite similar, at least superficially: in both, we feel the urge to approach the refrigerator and eat the cheesecake left over from Shabbat. So how can we differentiate between the two states?

We can make this distinction through a comprehensive examination, not only in the desire to eat but also in the general context around it. By following this approach, we can find out: are we struck by a strong urge to eat in situations where we are angry, bored, or frustrated? Do we long for a particular food that does not meet the criteria of a healthy lifestyle? If this is the case, it indicates emotional eating.

On the other hand, if we feel the need to eat at regular intervals, and this need can be satisfied with healthy, nutritious foods, it's likely true hunger intended to meet our body's physiological needs.

In general, we can point to three prominent features that help differentiate between emotional eating and physiological eating:

A. Physical hunger is experienced through the body. In contrast, emotional hunger is primarily experienced in the mind – through imagination. If we identify patterns of thinking that precede eating, focusing on personal challenges such as lack of appreciation, frustration, loneliness, and the like, where the person not only feels bad but also "talks to themselves", meaning: thoughts like "I had a hard day", "I'm discouraged", "I feel overwhelmed", and the like flow through their mind — this likely points to emotional eating.

B. Physical hunger develops gradually, usually several hours after the last meal. In contrast, emotional hunger appears suddenly, triggered by an intense emotion such as excitement, stress, anxiety, or boredom, with time playing no role.

C. Physical hunger disappears once a person reaches a feeling of fullness. Emotional hunger, however, is never satisfied, because emotional hunger cannot genuinely be satisfied with a chocolate bar. The real issue for someone who eats for emotional reasons is the stress he feels in his life generally, such as when he doesn't fulfill himself in his studies at the kollel, when he fails to be a good enough parent for his children, and more. In such situations, when he feels he can't handle the emotions, he turns to eating, but this eating fails to satisfy either body or soul, because the stress remains.

By examining our eating patterns in light of these three parameters, we can accurately isolate emotional eating from all our eating habits and address it accordingly.

Track Eating

To examine our eating patterns, we need to monitor them. To conduct this tracking in the best way possible, it is recommended to maintain an "eating diary", detailing precisely: when do we eat today? What do we eat? How much do we eat? How long does the eating occur? What thoughts accompany us during and before eating?

Once the data is laid out, we can analyze it using the tools we've acquired. If it turns out that most of our eating, and at least the portion not focused on healthy, nutritious food, is linked in one way or another to emotional distress like frustration, anger, disappointment, boredom, and the like, then we have identified emotional eating, which should be addressed.

For example, a person discovers they ate for twenty minutes, and during the meal was preoccupied with anger towards their family for not understanding the name choice for their newborn that went against their expectations, continuing to eat and mentally manage the dialogue with the family - it’s clear that this was emotional eating. It was not healthy eating but eating meant to escape the overwhelming anger and unresolved issue.

The clearer the picture we can provide ourselves regarding our eating patterns, the easier it will be to identify emotional eating, which can sometimes take over most of our day and sometimes occupy a relatively small, yet completely unnecessary, portion. Often, mere awareness of the existence of emotional eating serves as the solution itself. When a person is aware that they are not eating from a place of physical hunger but from a place of emotional appetite, the automatic mechanism of emotional eating may be severed on its own.

It is important to emphasize: maintaining such a diary is not an easy task since it is supposed to accompany the person throughout the entire day and requires continuous awareness. Nonetheless, the immense importance of this tool justifies the effort! Even if not fully successful and we manage to document only half of our daily eating, there is already great benefit in that: both for identifying eating patterns and increasing self-awareness.

Change the Menu

Once we've identified the eating mechanism that characterizes our eating habits, we can act accordingly: when it concerns physiological eating, there's a real need that should be met. But when it comes to emotional eating, it is unnecessary and offers no real benefit, only significant harm.

Indeed, as Rambam wrote (Hilchot Deot 4:1): "Since maintaining a healthy and complete body is an integral part of Hashem's way, for it is impossible to understand or know anything about the Creator if one is ill, a person must distance himself from things that destroy the body and lead himself with what strengthens and heals. These are: one should never eat unless he is hungry, nor drink unless he is thirsty, etc."

Thus, eating intended to satisfy a person’s bodily needs is positive and beneficial, but eating beyond this need, serving other purposes, may harm one's health and prevent one from fulfilling their duty in this world!

Moreover, it is now known that a person suffering from emotional eating can face severe emotional consequences, like damage to self-image, a feeling of lack of control, and mistrust in their ability to solve emotional problems. These consequences, along with the health implications resulting from weight gain, provide sufficient reason to eliminate emotional eating from the daily menu.